Written and Produced by VAINHEIN
Co-Produced by Keith Tadashi Kubota

lyrics

(verse 1)

hear that now?
the gag order is calling (x2)

i deserve better
but now i'm walking (x2)

(chorus 1)

god i'm needing something
something to go wrong

you gotta give me something
something i deserve

god i just need one thing
that one thing to go wrong

give me just that one thing
so i can move on

(verse 2)

hear that now? (x4)

(chorus 2)

god i'm needing something
something to go wrong

you gotta give me something
something i deserve

i promise won't say nothing
you did no wrong

i promise won't say nothing
i am moving on

(verse 3)

hear that now? (x4)

i deserve better
but now i'm walking
hear that now? (x4)


Gag Order

Written & Produced by VAINHEIN
Co-Produced by Keith Tadashi Kubota

XXX / Gag Order

Gag Order (Tyler Holmes Remix)

Written & Produced by VAINHEIN
Vocals by LUX

(DEMO)

LUX EXODUS

A remix of Brandy & Monica's "The Boy Is Mine" for performance by Bay Area drag band "Toxic Waste Face"

watch the performance here: https://vimeo.com/159026604 

The Boy Is Mine (It's A Boy Remix)

it's not your fault

hard

waiting room

rubberneck

motherfuckers

surviving

written and produced by vainhein & e
lyrics and vocals by vainhein
mastered by robbie hansen

lyrics:
a nasty thought i went too far. a prude i was at heart. for all the reasons i could think. but i finally found my missing piece. my missing piece /// i found the ‘x’ i found the ‘x(xx).’ the other lover, the other sex. my lips went numb, my nipples pink. my legs flew open like a gate. like a gate (x4). i found the ‘x’ (x2). the other lover, the other sex

x(xx)

by definition the word "intra" means: on the inside; within. i wanted to portray a deep feeling of pain and confusion i was holding inside myself and was afraid to speak out about while i was working for the well known BDSM porn site. My boss was an ex-pornstar/dom turned director. He was a gay man who hated women and was most likely femme-phobic too. Oh and he was also extremely narcissistic and racist, YAY. So after a few months of working there, i fell victim to his manipulation and was eventually physically and mentally abused by him on multiple occasions. Having been a victim of abuse by my father at a young age, and a few other times by a few other people after that, i seemed to normalize the abuse by default, so i did nothing and told nobody. but soon it began to eat away at me. i formed intense anxiety and depression and even developed an insanely distracting eye-twitch. one day while i was trying to edit the footage we shot a few days before, i was triggered every time his voice came up. i realized i was no longer capable of doing my job and left my office immediately, without any idea where i was going. i somehow ended up at a piano that was on the top floor of the building. I had no idea how to play but felt compelled to do so. i set my phone up to record whatever i played. and after awhile this is the tune that showed itself.

intra

vainhein talks about their beginnings, from performance art, to drag, to writing and producing their own music and the inspirations for their name and aesthetic.

vainhein

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