I wrote this song as an unwritten love letter from my amazing Dad to my Mom.

Dad was the healthiest man I knew and his illness came out of nowhere.

You hear stories like this, but you never expect it to happen to you.

One day you’re planning family trips, playing pillow fight with the grandkids, and sitting across from each other at a coffee shop rolling your eyes with a slight uptick of a smile after he spitfires a good ’ol dad joke…

The next day, the Doctor says he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and it could be weeks or months.

A ‘record scratch’ moment, would be an understatement.

This song is what I imagine he would say to her now.

–––––

When a friend asked my Mom how she was doing…

She said softly, “I just lost my husband of 48 years.”

To say his diagnosis rocked our entire family would be an understatement.

Last year I asked Dad what he loves most about Mom.

“Girls I had dated before we met were always trying to get away from family. She wasn’t like that. She’s always been someone I can count on.”

True to her nature, my mom is someone I can always count on.

I wrote this song for her.

Knowing he would want her to LIVE.

To be HAPPY.

To do all the things they’d planned for retirement together…

Months after writing this song, before going home to the kids after work, I was sitting in my car crying in the parking lot about why this even happened. I’d been listening to one of my other songs that always felt healing, when this song came on right after.

Even though I’d heard the chorus dozens of times, this time I heard it differently.

I looked up and realized it could be a letter to me, too, as his daughter.

Promise Me This

During my family’s viral bucket list story last December that was covered by NBC, ABC, CBS, Inside Edition & The Washington Post, Vickie Quinn was one of the strangers who reached out. 

“If you bring him to Las Vegas, I can arrange a UFC fight.”

At the time, my amazing Dad was in the most significant fight of his life so it made sense to go. 

This is going to be Vickie’s first Christmas without her husband of 35 years who passed away in his sleep.  😞

Her loss is palpable… She truly is living one day at a time.

We never had a chance to meet on our brief overnight trip to Las Vegas, but even though we didn’t know each other, we began texting almost daily. 

As if we picked up a conversation that had simply paused for a while.

Vickie’s resilience as a wife and mother is incredible… 

She’s a true proud mama bear of her son, Stephen Quinn: Despite being a quadriplegic due to a rare birth defect, he created a well-respected career within the UFC starting as an intern at age 14 and climbing the ranks to Director of Regulatory Affairs.

Enduring over 35 surgeries before he was 12 years old, Stephen recovered by watching sports.  
 
The bucket list experience that Vickie & her son coordinated was beyond a UFC fight… the true gift she gave me was quality time with my dad that I’ll never forget. 
_______

You don’t really know what to give or say to somebody when they lose their spouse.

The person they saw first thing each morning and each night, only to be replaced by an empty space in their bed. 

And the house becomes quiet. So quiet. 

A daily reminder of her loss. 
_______

Growing up, the only thing I was able to give to others was being creative or doing something thoughtful. 

When I wrote this song inspired by Vickie’s story, it felt like something I could give her that actually mattered.

I sent her the acapella version and she replied…

“In this unthinkable loss I received 500 flowers, 700 casseroles, many invitations, lots of books on grief, hundreds of cards, letters, and messages. Never did I receive a song that not only is beautiful but encompasses exactly how I feel… silent grief. Thank you will never be enough...”

It was a soundtrack of both our feelings.

Music is a superpower that heals and brings people together.

Vickie gave me unforgettable memories with my Dad, and I gave her a song.

But really, we gifted each other with a friendship when we both needed it the most.

In the months that followed, we've texted countless times.

Lifting each other in the hardest moments.

A cheerleader for our brighter days ahead.

We’ve still never met.

But connection bridges the distance.

If you’d like to listen to the song, I’ve put the link in the comments below.

Introducing ‘ONE DAY AT A TIME.’

If you’ve ever lost someone MAJOR in your life, you will understand these lyrics.

Tell me I’m not alone.

One Day At A Time

Vanessa Mitchell’s latest songs focus on a different kind of love story – that of a father & daughter.  

In her forthcoming album to be released in January 2023, Vanessa musically examines intense grief following the loss of her father to pancreatic cancer in January 2022.

Vanessa says, “NBC, ABC, CBS, The Washington Post & Inside Edition all reached out while my Dad was fighting stage 4 cancer. 

Why?

Hundreds of strangers had stepped up to take him on bucket list adventures. Nobody knew it would be his last month of life… Including me.

The Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/01/13/bucket-list-cancer-kindness-coronado/

Inside Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVZ3egyQqIE

NBC Nightly News: https://nbcnews.to/3ydMVcA

ABC: https://www.10news.com/news/local-news/community-helps-woman-with-ailing-fathers-bucket-list

I began chronicling those adventures on Facebook in personal detail, which led to unexpected connections with people going through their own losses. 

I felt inspired to write songs about them, my dad, and my perspective as a daughter who couldn’t save him. 

I’m dealing with my grief in the only way I know how, which is being creative. 

After the diagnosis, our family talked all day about what needed to be done medically, but the elephant in the room was the fact that Dad may not survive this. A lot of stifled tears to 'be strong.'

Music allowed me to express the unsaid."