bright

Tu gagnes, tu perds

Tu gagnes, tu perds, rejoue
Tu gagnes, tu perds, sauvegarde la partie
Tu gagnes, tu perds, nouvelles règles à nouveau

Tu gagnes, tu perds, rejoue
Tu gagnes, tu perds, une autre partie
Tu gagnes, tu perds, encore des règles

Même l'amour, tu peux gagner, tu peux perdre
C'est un pari ; chaque cœur en souffre
Tu gagnes, tu perds

Tu gagnes, tu perds, aime à nouveau
Tu gagnes, tu perds, c'est pareil
Tu gagnes, tu perds, suis les règles

Tu gagnes, tu perds, les enjeux sont élevés
Tu gagnes, tu perds, c'est la vie ou la mort
Tu gagnes, tu perds, allume la flamme
Fais mouche

Même l'amour, tu peux gagner, tu peux perdre
C'est un pari ; Chaque cœur est meurtri
Tu gagnes, tu perds

Tu gagnes, tu perds, saisis ta chance
Tu gagnes, tu perds, c'est une danse
Tu gagnes, tu perds, lance les dés
Paye le prix

Feux clignotants, la partie a commencé
Les cœurs s'inclinent sous le soleil
Chaque geste peut avoir son prix
Courir après l'amour, c'est le but ultime
Est-ce que ça durera ? On ne le saura jamais

Tu gagnes, tu perds, un dernier essai
Tu gagnes, tu perds, ne te demande pas pourquoi
Tu gagnes, tu perds, la partie est terminée
Plus de règles

You Win You Lose

Journal #26 (Humpty-Dumpty)

chocolate heart

Lyrics:

Amongst all of this hell there's a drug,
That is almost as good as a loving hug.
I'm not talking about pot,
Though it's a go to for quite a lot.

Nor is it a line of cocaine,
That's just asking for anger to rain.
Certainly not methamphetamine,
That'll never be my scene.

I'm talking about a white little pill,
Something that keeps my mind still.
Valium is the name,
My life line to keep me sane.

Valium is the name, 
(Valium is the name)
My life line to keep me sane.
(My life line to keep me sane)

Amongst all of this hell there's a drug,
That is almost as good as a loving hug.
I'm not talking about pot,
Though it's a go to for quite a lot.

Nor is it a line of cocaine,
That's just asking for anger to rain.
Certainly not methamphetamine,
That'll never be my scene.

I'm talking about a white little pill,
Something that keeps my mind still.
Valium is the name,
My life line to keep me sane.

Valium is the name, 
(Valium is the name)
My life line to keep me sane.
(My life line to keep me sane)




"Valium"
Copyright. ©
Beau Haustorfer, 2025.
All Rights Reserved.

Valium

🔻 Song Insight
“Why Do I Do This to Myself?” is a soft-spoken confession wrapped in retro colors and emotional vulnerability. It tells the story of forbidden longing—those moments when friendship blurs with desire, and you're left staring at someone you can't have, heart full, hands still. The lyrics unfold like pages from a teenage diary, capturing a fleeting night where silence says everything, and dreams feel more real than daylight.

The song lives in the quiet between words: a brush of a foot, a shared laugh, a whispered maybe. It’s not just about heartbreak—it’s about almost love. The kind that hurts not because it ended, but because it never truly began.

Framed in lo-fi folk textures and subtle storytelling, “Why Do I Do This to Myself?” resonates with anyone who’s ever wanted more than someone could give... and held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, they felt it too.

🔻 Lyrics
[Intro]
Laying across from me... just friends
Seeing you move in your sleep
Your foot brushed my leg
Caught in your stare
Blushed... looked away
I know, I know you're not gay
Stop barking up the tree in '93

[Verse 1]
You smirked and smiled
Rolled over
Closed your eyes
Why do I do this to myself
Fall in love
With the one I can't love

[Verse 2]
Looking at you asleep
So perfect
So kind
So sweet
Your eyes
Your ears
Your perfect nose
Even your feet...
Those socks

[Bridge]
I got caught again
You leaned in close
Put your face near mine
And said the best thing I ever heard you say
"I'm not what I used to be
I don't bite
Unless you want me to"
You tilted your head
Pressed your lips to mine
I thought I had died
This sweet perfection... was mine

[Verse 3]
We stayed up talking
Till our eyes gave in
Falling asleep on my chest
Feeling you breathe with me
The best dream I had

[Verse 4]
I sang you a song
One I had written
Long ago
The first time I saw you
The moment I fell
In love

[Chorus]
Oh boy, it's a boy
Got trapped inside
Don’t wanna hide
Come say hi
He's a keeper
A friend for life
He’ll never know
It’s true... it’s love
I feel
Through and through

[Verse 5]
I wished he could see
This love that's in me
It's all I have to be
This light
So bright
Keeps me up all night

[Outro]
I awoke
Thought you were gone
Then realized
It was all a dream
A dream
That can never be

🔻 Personal Reflection
This one hit harder than most.
It’s not about a breakup or a fight. It’s about what never got the chance to exist.
“Why Do I Do This to Myself?” came from a real night—back in high school, back when everything felt so massive and quiet at the same time. I remember laying there, next to him, every nerve aware, every breath like a question mark.

The striped socks were real. So was the tension. So was the moment when he said something—playful maybe, maybe more—and for a second I thought, this might actually happen.
It didn’t. But I remember every detail like it did.

This song is for anyone who’s ever read too deeply into a smile… who dared to hope even when they knew better. It's for the quiet crushes, the never-said-anythings, the dreams that leave a mark even if they don’t leave a trace.

Writing it was like opening a sealed letter from myself… and realizing the ink never faded.



🔻 Copyright Notice
"All lyrics and content featured in this post are protected under copyright (© 2025) and have been securely time-locked and validated through a crypto-based verification system to ensure originality and ownership. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of any part of these works without explicit consent is strictly prohibited."

Why do I do this to myself?

A dreamy escape across sun-scorched landscapes where beauty blossoms in isolation.

Desert Bloom

Experience Scripture Like Never Before

🟣 This track was created for the Mystical Bible Companion app—an AI-powered spiritual guide that pairs Bible passages with meditative music for reflection, study, & peace.

🟣 Each song blends sacred text with richly inspired melodies, drawing influence from European folk traditions, cinematic soundscapes, & divine resonance.

🟣 Explore more music, receive daily spiritual insight, & discover a deeper connection to the Word.

Now available on Android.

📲 Download the app: tinyurl.com/mysticalbible
🔍 Or search Mystical Bible Companion on Google Play

MBC App on Google Play

Forty Days to Nineveh (JONAH 3:2)

✨ Dream Land ✨
🌌 Dream Pop Album | Whisper-Lit Vocals

"Melodies dissolve like sugar in twilight, lyrics linger like fingerprints on fogged glass..."

💤 Whispers & Reverb: Barely-there vocals floating over hazy guitars

🌙 Nocturnal Moods: For 3 AM drives and unmade beds that remember

📀 Vinyl Edition: Glow-in-the-dark sleeve art

Loving You Anyway

If you enjoyed this track, make sure to ↻ [Repost] & ❤ [Like] the upload!

[Intro]
Me paré en el fuego, sin miedo a quemarme,
porque ya aprendí que la vida es un combate.
No vine de un cuento, vine de calles y gritos,
donde la esperanza muchas veces se ha caído.

[Verso 1]
Nací en la tierra donde la luz se esconde,
donde el hambre no pregunta y el frío responde.
Vi a mi madre sudar pa’ que nada nos falte,
y al padre irse lejos, dejando el alma en un malete.

Crecí con el ruido de protestas y balas,
entre apagones que apagan las alas.
La escuela fue un sueño que nunca se cumplió,
pero aprendí en la calle.

[Coro]

Uno Cantando desde el pecho, 
en la ultima palabra de cada linea,
No me digas que hay salida,
si to’s los caminos duelen.
Aquí aprendimos a vivir
con lo poquito que nos queda.

No es que no quiera soñar,
es que dormir cuesta vida.
Y si sobrevivo un día más…
le doy gracias a la herida.
le doy gracias a la herida.
le doy gracias a la herida.
le doy gracias a la herida.

[Reflexion]
¿Sabes qué es crecer en un país que se cae a pedazos…?
Es ver a tu mamá decirte que está bien… con los ojos aguados y el estómago vacío.

Aquí no hay cuento de hadas… hay historias que no se pueden contar sin llorar.
Aquí los niños no sueñan con castillos… sueñan con comer.

Pero.

[Final]
No es por moda que me viste la pobreza,
es porque nací entre balas, arepas y promesas.
Mi escuela fue la acera, mi grado: resistencia,
y mi maestría… sobrevivir sin clemencia.

Aquí la juventud no envejece,
se oxida.
Aquí lo real no se filtra,
se grita.

Somos los hijos del apagón,
los que aprendimos a escribir con el corazón.
Y aunque la historia se quiera borrar…
la sangre del pueblo no se puede olvidar.

Sobreviviente

Ain't Feel Fine

"Vanitas" captures life's infinite dualities within electric dreams & digital nightmares by blending lush synths & rhythmic pulses in an immersive auditory journey through hell & the human condition.

Forty Days to Nineveh (JONAH 3:2)

Vanitas

Related tracks