fuck your hunger, i don't want it anymore.

don't tell her i told you

disappearing act

when our bodies were too much to withstand

Identity depression, I can’t find anything inside of me.
How do I want to be seen? I think I don’t want you to look at me.
Scared of constant movement or solidifying,
But I am reckless abandonment,
Ever-changing
Definition-defying
There’s joy to be found though it’s overwhelming!
How do I want to be seen? I want to chase my feelings wildly.

ID depression

trouble on my hands: i've got cat scratches, i've got guitar string cuts, i've got dry skin patches. (all the better to touch myself with) skin catches skin, stumbles over hairs that i don't notice 'cause i'm not usually there. (all the better when i'm scared) in a room with dim lighting she asks if i feel my body is mine. i don't know, but i'm trying, i am trying, i am trying to make it so. mourn the loss of years i held it in my body. let it go. i want to let it go.

all the better

i can't feel your fear, i know.
you still dress like a kid
maybe to feel simple like before
but i'm sure you never did

it's heavy shit

i can't feel your fear, i know
but i still hold your secret.
we don't sit circled anymore
sometimes i think we still need it

it's heavy shit

i was frailer when i knew you then
you seem to keep crumbling
i know it's heavy to lose her
over and over again
and i know that i don't know
but i feel the weight

the weight

i would like to feel my entirety all the time 
When nothing’s real but the dark spots all over my eyes
When I can’t remember the times that I made you smile
and when I can’t remember ‘cause I haven’t been here for a while
I would like to know you see me as a whole human being
Even when I go to the place where I can’t see
When I can’t remember the light that once filled my heart
When I can’t remember ‘cause my self-concept has fallen apart
So please explain me to me
Please tell me what you see

explain me to me

dark mood, who sent you?

an almost unlistenable song of angst

I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for all of these terrible mouth sounds. Please forgive me. I'm too lazy to edit them out. Are you ever grossed out by your human body, by your human mouth?

MOUTH!

heart is pounding idk how to make it stop. i could use a little help but you can't come see me. you can see me through a screen & would know exactly what i mean, you could see me every day but it wouldn't be the same. you can't come see me.

Couch!

i don't know what i'm doing that's why it sounds that way

vee moonjones