i hate jahhlu

follow me on instagram @1drewxo

holographic hearts (prod. malikaix8)

when u call me

leave me alone! (iof)

first song under my new name. thank u <3

https://www.instagram.com/1vislyn/

co-written by @jamiekills

toxic

out now on all platforms <3
instagram @1vislyn

better day

thank u to everyone involved <3
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/2YpAY1w1hWvMC3LnCqTbyd
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/1vislyn

@ghosthandsmusic
@johnnyfriend
@ytstatic

last forever (feat. ghosthands & 静的 Static) (prod. johnnyfriend)

thank u!
instagram: www.instagram.com/1vislyn

vislyn & NotEnvy - i don't really need you

random song i didnt tell anyone i dropped

instagram: @1vislyn

lyrics:
I never meant to hurt you, i'm sorry it's gotta be that way
I'd rather sit in my room and watch my brain decay
It feels like every single days now a cycle
I sleep through day, then i cry when the nightfall

I wanted your opinion didn't have to be so honest
Standing in the void while you fill me up with toxins
I hate to be away so i'm sorry that i'm calling
I hate it when we kissed, so i don't know why i'm falling

But i sent you a post card, i hope that you got it
A thousand miles away, but, you're still where my heart is
Just wanna see if you're okay, i know i'm annoying
You said you knew that we'd fall out, i guess your clairvoyant

And it's been a couple months since we spoke
I get chills down my spine every time that we talk
Like what happened to us?
Remember when we'd watch the rain last summer
I pushed you away now you hide undercover
Like every little thing never goes my way
I always get so anxious over simple change
I just wanted you to stick around
But i'm sorry for the way that
I let you down

I wanted your opinion didn't have to be so honest
Standing in the void while you fill me up with toxins
I hate to be away so i'm sorry that i'm calling
I hate it when we kissed, so i don't know why i'm falling

But i sent you a post card, i hope that you got it
A thousand miles away, but, you're still where my heart is
Just wanna see if you're okay, i know i'm annoying
You said you knew that we'd fall out, i guess your clairvoyant

thank you<3

clairvoyant

insta; @1vislyn

lyrics:
you touch on my skin
and it felt like home,
there's too much about you i don't even know
it's like i tell you everything,
but you don't even care at all
you were the only thing i had and it's so cynical
my minds twisted can't make a decision
despite you're a figment of my
imagination
cause you were so close now you're miles away
too far to count all the tears on my face
i crumble out from the seams,
cause nothing is how it seems
i lost the piece to complete
all just to morbid deceit
i guess i knew you would leave
and i remember watching the train tracks
with your head laying down over on my chest
and without you i can't seem to function 
guess my karma is coming
it's just a repercussion

said you would love me till the world dispersed
and now we're just running like times in reverse
still live in my house but it don't feel like home
needing you now more than i did before

but i don't wanna lie and say that i'm okay
cause i can't stand to see you with him
like will you come back
i'm thinking there's no way
day by day the ropes getting thin

give me break 
my body's achin
i can only shake
feeling so desperate
to find somewhere safe
my mind kills my body
please leave for ur sake 
i thought i'd made
peace with the blades
i was mistaken
tricked by my brain
my body is marked
scars on my arm
blood doesn't stop dripping
its painting the floor

i thought u'd be my home
with you i wouldn't be alone
my heart got torn apart
i tried 2 but i can't restart

said you would love me till the world dispersed
and now we're just running like times in reverse
still live in my house but it don't feel like home
needing you now more than i did before

but i don't wanna lie and say that i'm okay
cause i can't stand to see you with him
like will you come back
i'm thinking there's no way
day by day the ropes getting thin

but i don't wanna lie and say that i'm okay
cause i can't stand to see you with him
like will you come back
i'm thinking there's no way
day by day the ropes getting thin

home w/ casperrr

insta: @1vislyn

lyrics: 
oh i'm anxious and i'm nervous
i know i'm such a burden
but could you hold me one last time?
i look at you
you seem so perfect
you see me as i'm worthless
i know that this is the final night

ok

no i don't want you to leave
you got me down on my knees
like did i say something wrong?
did i say something wrong?
to you my love
and i'd gauge my eyes to feel your touch
like one last time
like one last time

now i'm dancing while the rain pours
hating on how you just ignore
every word that i say
like how could you go relay
a message that you misinterpreted
now i'm dead beneath the surface
for like one last time
for like one last time

you watch me cry
you watch me die
i see the pain beneath your eyes
she's back in colne
and far from home
i still think of our time
so i'll look at the sky
and watch the stars align
but you're a thousand miles away, i wish that you were mine
i'd love to call you my own
but who let you here alone?
and you're perfect
i'm sorry
inside my heart is pounding

will you run, 
since he's back
since he's back now
it's my fate, it's my fate
i'm your trash now
will you run, 
since he's back
since he's back now
it's my fate, it's my fate
i'm your trash now

alright

no i don't want you to leave
you got me down on my knees
like did i say something wrong?
did i say something wrong?
to you my love
and i'd gauge my eyes to feel your touch
like one last time
like one last time

one last time (vislyn x jon caryl)

lyrics:
i remember that moment we walked to the lake
im just staring at the water watching ripples break
it's very open here watching the cars pass
but god i'd do anything to break all the silence

and i can't stand to look into your eyes again
i don't feel alive and i don't wanna try again
and the clock keeps on ticking like where did the time go
our memories irrelevant our love is a side note

side note
i'm tired of this fucking cycle
like how you always put me down
you're so despiteful
and i know
you're filled with evil what you lie for
i pick and choose my right doors
you ain't wanna die for

how you push and pull the strings and drag me back
i gave you time and money, effort, I'm just naming shit you lack so
our love
it hurts too much I'm blue and black
and now my hearts on fire
ready to attack you
I'm in a cycle love and hate and that's the sad truth
I've seen my body torn to shreds from a birds eye view
like what you hate me for
now I'm more lost than before
i lost my mind shit i guess it's nothing new

and i can't stand to look into your eyes again
i don't feel alive and i don't wanna try again
and the clock keeps on ticking like where did the time go
our memories irrelevant our love is a side note
my skins rots inside of these halls
oh it's always a cycle
i wanna see you like one last time, it's the final
until the sun goes down
and gets to catching our gaze
i want to count all of the freckles
on top of your face

again w/ bes

thank you for raising me

lyrics:
i never really weep about this over stuff
but lately in my head it's been way too much
way too much
it's been way too much
for me
i never really weep unless it's social stuff
but when i saw you there laying cold to the touch
cold to the touch
laying cold to the touch
i couldn't bear
it doesn't feel alright at all
if i dialed you, you wouldn't pick up my call
pick up my call
living in a world without you here
it's never ever been so clear
that nothing can last forever
we're all just strings on a tether
and they say i have to get over it
but i don't want to
i swear that i don't
i swear that i don't
i swear that i won't

rose

thank u for the support. out on all platforms.
lyrics:

we locked eyes for the first time
in a while
you said you can't love
but that's vile
then you're searching for me
in someone else
should i even be here?
man i can't tell

it seems you've broken our promise and i can tell by your eyes
felt the ridges on my arm and said i saw your disguise
how do i cope inside my mind?
i'll disappear from everyone,
social suicide
but if you called me and told me you didn't even mean what you did
i don't think the blade would retract from my skin
please don't look
i swear i'm fine
i'll disappear from everyone, 
social suicide
you're holding on by a thread?
you looked at me as you said it
i didn't know what to do
but now i really regret it

staring wide eyed looking what you forced in
and all the apathy deterred me from your coffin 
feel less manic in the gardens
exhausted my options
cause every single step leads me right back to you

and there's bones in your closet
regrets that are haunting
there's really no difference between me and you
how should i cope?
am i just a character inside your book that you wrote
you threw me away in what felt like a boast
now i'm really struggling staying afloat

it seems you've broken our promise and i can tell by your eyes
felt the ridges on my arm and said i saw your disguise
how do i cope inside my mind?
i'll disappear from everyone,
social suicide
but if you called me and told me you didn't even mean what you did
i don't think the blade would retract from my skin
please don't look
i swear i'm fine
i'll disappear from everyone, 
social suicide

skin

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/1vislyn
w/ https://soundcloud.com/sadboykana

lyrics:
i saw the look in your eyes
you're hiding something beneath
the scars on top of your arm
they meant everything to me
but the picture of you
still lays in my room
my eyes wired shut so i don't think of you
and you said your goodbyes
but is this one forever?
cause you walk out my life
then come back in december
i'll be back soon
if you're wanting me to
no matter where that i go
it reminds me of you

it's like i can never win
i'm fucking breaking again
so many thoughts in my head
i'm fucking anxious again
i'm walking through all the flames
ash falling down just like rain
i got nobody to blame
i did this all to myself
and i think you made it clear
i don't mean nothing to you
i'm stuck with all of these memories
when we met back in june
all the walks through the evergreens
catching sunlight and bad dreams
when we said we meant everything
guess forever aint everything no more
so it's time to move along
realize that it's done
damage on my arms
scars all on my heart
fucking up my lungs
feeling fucking numb
i feel fucking dumb
baby where did it all go wrong?

(love's not real
there's no such thing
therefore there's no sorrow
atleast that's what i thought)

i saw the look in your eyes
you're hiding something beneath
the scars on top of your arm
they meant everything to me
but the picture of you
still lays in my room
my eyes wired shut so i don't think of you
and you said your goodbyes
but is this one forever?
cause you walk out my life
then come back in december
i'll be back soon
if you're wanting me to
no matter where that i go
it reminds me of you

reminds me of you w/ kana

thank you :)
lyrics:
i'll run somewhere i can breathe
just give me some space it's been harder to speak
seems like everything i do in the outcome i bleed
so now
i'll never show my face
til i can escape
from the me you erased

cause i'm done
cause you should be here
like right here beside me
it's evidently clear
that you never cared at all
you only stuck around until my blood would fall
now i can't escape you i'm numb
i never should've called
and told you i missed you while crying on the floor
now i don't show my face at all
cause i don't ever wanna see that look i recall
i wish i could erase you now

in a world once vibrant
colors danced in harmony
but now that they're gone it's a monochrome reality
her absence is an ache
a void that just won't heal
my worlds been drained of life
the sultures just won't take
the scars better concealed
the truth is i'd rather hide

in blurry pictures
loves an illusion
paint me a new world
you'll never ruin
and blind me
rip out all the parts of you inside me
drive me to the places you won't find me
hiding
in blurry pictures 
loves an illusion
paint ma new world
you'll never ruin
no fun, like the smoke that leaves out of your gun
snuff out all the memories i drew of us

cause i'm done
cause you should be here
like right here beside me
it's evidently clear
that you never cared at all
you only stuck around until my blood would fall
now i can't escape you i'm numb
i never should've called
and told you i missed you while crying on the floor
now i don't show my face at all
cause i don't ever wanna see that look i recall
i wish i could erase you now

erase me w/ pyrrhic

thank u!
instagram: @1vislyn
lyrics:
It seems i mightve just caught you at like a bad time
I over think but this time i won't cross the line
I hurt you more than i shouldve when i wanted to
I guess this time i'll dig a grave for two
I fucking love you but i hate you at the same time
I bought you flowers just to find out you weren't mine

Stood at the step of your door
Holdin' the tears i won't show
Until i saw you with him
I ached right on to the floor
And entered the morgue
I'm taking you with me like right through the door
Cause you were a half of my perception
Now i just struggle to think
An inevitable ending you'll just leave me to sink

You had me spitting out blood
And cutting my hair
Scratching my neck while
I'm gasping for air
So hold the blade to my throat and
Just cut me some more
Cause i can't feel a thing but the blood on the floor

She said it's my fault
No i can't love you again
But we can still talk if we just play pretend
You put me in a state that's so critical
You always picture me as i'm cynical

So fuck off with everything you said cause it hurts me
Im falling to pieces im patiently lurking
On anyone who tries to approach you
I'll put em in the dirt cause they don't even know you
But leave me again
We're not even friends
Just like how you told me we'd always be
But i'ma jump the bridge once again
To see how it ends
Cause that's how it has to be

cynical

thank u<3
ig: @1vislyn
lyrics:

The moment that you let go
I couldn't sit with it
The emptyness in my chest
Despise your ignorance
It seems I'm petrified from everything I sought for
And when I saw you with him, you pulled an encore

The time is drifting away
Our memories will fade
My last chance to save you is letting you
Go
Go
Go
Go
You made me rot and decay
In spite of your dismay
As much as I love you I'm letting you
Go
Go
Go
Go

And if you told me something old
That I cant live with
I would take a breath and close my eyes
I never learnt that
I pray these feelings never turn back
I never can just handle the signs

You don't even know me anymore
You barely know me anymore
I fucking feel it when your up
I check these feelings all night long
I barely love it when you tell me that I'm wrong
Don't tell me things that I'm gon say to fuck it up

The time is drifting away
Our memories will fade
My last chance to save you is letting you
Go
Go
Go
Go
You made me rot and decay
In spite of your dismay
As much as I love you I'm letting you
Go
Go
Go
Go
@erxn_music

last chance w/ erxn

thank u <3
lyrics:
So tell me if you want me to go
I think I'm better alone
I find it hard to reside
But I know you were my home
But when the winter comes I'm hoping that you'll think of me
And you were everything cause you looked at me differently
So tell me if you want me to go
I think I'm better alone
I find it hard to reside
But I know you were my home
But when the winter comes I'm hoping that you'll think of me
And you were everything cause you looked at me differently

It's a war in my head
I lost all of my hope
Seems you can do whatever but I just cannot let go
Replay it in my mind
I think about it all the time
I wonder if she's really there
If she ever really cared

In the place that I roam
I found your closet full of bones
You hid them deeper than before
Eyes were kind of sore
I don't want my heart you can have it
You can have it
So I'll implant it in your soul it's embedded
It's embedded

I don't want my heart you can have it
You can have it
So I'll implant it in your soul it's embedded
It's embedded
I don't want my heart you can have it
You can have it
So I'll implant it in your soul it's embedded
It's embedded

So tell me if you want me to go
I think I'm better alone
I find it hard to reside
But I know you were my home
But when the winter comes I'm hoping that you'll think of me
And you were everything cause you looked at me differently
So tell me if you want me to go
I think I'm better alone
I find it hard to reside
But I know you were my home
But when the winter comes I'm hoping that you'll think of me
And you were everything cause you looked at me differently

if you want me to go

produced by me & jon caryl
lyrics:
Staring blankly at a full moon
I start to wonder like how did I lose you?
And I'm sorry if I caught you in a bad mood
I knew I lost you in the moment that I had you
Don't me go
I swear that I'm fighting for you
Convicted to two
I'll hold
On to the burden for you
Cause that's what I'll do

So let's just go and hide
I'll find a place where we can stay and maybe feel alive
But then you went on to runaway
And escape your fate
How could you do this to me?
You're too hard to please
But I wanna be by you when push turns to shove
I don't wanna be just somebody you loved...
But I wanna be by you when push turns to shove
I don't wanna be just somebody you loved...

And I can't go back
To what we had
And it all replays
In the moment I lost you

I ran away so fast I didn't wanna hear what you said
I can't deny that it's all in my head

And if you text hope you reply and say you're doing fine
But if you did the same I'd probably go and fucking lie
It's been a while though I'm anxious haven't looked in your eyes
But in the end you left me out
To fucking dry

somebody you loved

insta: @1vislyn
w/ @breckenford

lyrics:
and she said "don't go"
just wait for me
i'll hold on
just promise me i'll see you again
and i'll grasp your hand
until my final breath
and i swear my love i'll have you until i drop dead
x2

youre taking me down and out 
i know its all over 
Know its all over
over

you push me around 
and around til i grow colder
yea colder

but everything is okay
got an upside down brain
and i cant evade the pain

you took everything apart and you left me so depleted
whats the reason 

you out a knife to my heart and you dont care that im bleedin
so deceivin

and she said "don't go"
just wait for me
i'll hold on
just promise me i'll see you again
and i'll grasp your hand
until my final breath
and i swear my love i'll have you until i drop dead
x2

wait for me w/ brecken

thank u
insta: @1vislyn
lyrics:
you got me crying through the night
i burned your picture out of spite
she told me love comes and goes
is that why i'm alone?
so pretty in the night
like stars that realligned
in the moment that you came my way
i've loved you ever since that day

hard to cope
when my veins are filled and you just killed my
ive seen it all
and every single time we just go
start again
and we can't pretend
that you weren't everything to me
you held me tight so peacefully
so now i retrace my steps
my body was left out to dry
so if you hear me through the night
just say you love me one last time

you got me crying through the night
i burned your picture out of spite
she told me love comes and goes
is that why i'm alone?
so pretty in the night
like stars that realligned
in the moment that you came my way
i've loved you ever since that day

through the night

thank you,
instagram @1vislyn

lyrics:
And I don't want to fall asleep
All your words they cut me deep
I was hopelessly, falling,
For the lies between your teeth
And now you're just another memory
A story that I'll never read
A fantasy that I held close
Cause in your arms it felt like home

And I don't want to know
If you'll turn me right to stone
Could you tell me what's the reason?
That I've been hardly sleeping?
You broke into my mind
And took the life right out my eyes
You're just a memory
By the strands of your hair
You broke the promise that you made last year
I'll follow you
Into the forest, mental is dormant
The leaves seem to hibernate
I can't control it, season revoke it
Did you get what you had wanted?
I can't seem to focus
I'm sick of scars and torment
But I still loved you since that moment

And I don't want to fall asleep
All your words they cut me deep
I was hopelessly, falling,
For the lies between your teeth
And now you're just another memory
A story that I'll never read
A fantasy that I held close
Cause in your arms it felt like home
And I don't want to fall asleep
All your words they cut me deep
I was hopelessly, falling,
For the lies between your teeth
And now you're just another memory
A story that I'll never read
A fantasy that I held close
Cause in your arms it felt like home

fantasy

featuring @sadboypyrrhic
check out my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lildrewxo1/

vislyn

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