This song is called Body. It's a song that personifies envy as a being that manipulates people not with malevolent intent, but rather to teach us to love ourselves instead. Of course loving ourselves is not easy, especially growing up multi-ethnic. When I was younger I never thought about how I looked until people pointed it out to me. Classmates would point out my differences saying that I could pass for white, or that I was trying to hard to be black. Even family referred to me as the albino version of my mother, and commented on my hair, or my weight, making it my worth. When I was in sports and working out I was "too skinny", even though I was healthy. "When I gained some weight" suddenly I was curvy and a girl that boys could find attractive. I didn't know references of women who looked like me and it left me feeling undesirable. Over time I internalized other’s opinions of me and made it my self-worth. In the past, the internalization and unwanted input on my appearance lead me to do some negative things in the hopes of achieving an imaginary goal. Now I know my body's worth more than that, our bodies are worth more than that. 

I wrote this song and made this video with the hope that it might resonate with anyone who has felt like they were not beautiful because of standards of beauty that in reality don't exist.

Viola Davis, and Stacey McKenzie are my idols both are gorgeous women who at one point or another, were around someone who tried to lessen their worth. But because they loved themselves like they needed, we know them as the talented, iconic, successful women they were always meant to be. Why should any of us let our worth be extinguished. For any young boy or girl who feels that they are not enough, you are. You are beautiful and your uniqueness makes you even more so. Even more important, your worth is far greater than what you look like.

Body

This song was written at a time when everything seemed to be going wrong and is a reminder that it's okay to not be "okay" sometimes. There are times we need to voice our frustration. Just remember, after the storm, comes the sunlight.

When It Pours

Cacti Heart Lyrics 

He’s a western tale in the modern age
Yeah he’s ruthless, rude, he’s a renegade
He’ll crush your heart with his iron gaze
It’s a western tale in the modern age

He’s the hottest star, working in LA
He’s a western dime in the modern age
Got his girls and booze, yeah he’s cowboy made
It’s a western tale, in the modern age

Oh he’s hurting bad
For the life he needs he’ll never have
And oh he’s pulling a deuce
Playin games with fate, in a velvet noose

He’s got outlaw boots and a chiseled face
And he smiles real big just to get his way
He’s the guy you call if you wanna misbehave
It’s a western lie, in the modern age

He’s made his bed now he lies all day
and the debt so deep he can’t catch a break
He lost his fame, but he won’t learn grace
So he gambles life with a poker face

Oh he’s hurting bad
For the life he needs he’ll never have
And oh he’s pulling a deuce
Playin games with fate, in a velvet noose

BRIDGE
So it’s all someone’s fault
When his world doesn’t call
How could he be amiss
With his searing charm and killer kiss

Oh he’s six feet down
For the life he deserved he now has found
And oh he’s a dead star
Cause he lived his life with a cacti heart

Cacti Heart

Grateful Lyrics

The sun might set where the eagle soars
The moon still shines forevermore
I have there, and I want you more
Need nothing else to wake for

You heal me with love, I can’t get enough
I’m fine on my own, but your arms are home

I lie awake as the church bells chime
And the stars they fade in the full moon light
I’m grateful just to have you here
Don’t need no ring to quell my fears

You heal me with love, I can’t get enough
I’m fine on my own, but your arms are home

I wake to you every single day
And each morning drinks my breath away
As I see you there my world zooms in
For eternity will I be content

You heal me with love, I can’t get enough
I’m fine on my own, but your arms are home
You heal me with love, I can’t get enough
I vow to you now my love won’t run out
I’m grateful, I’m grateful, te amo mi amor

Grateful

My life has been incredibly tumultuous recently and it's caused me to experience long bouts of depression. I'm learning more and more each day. One thing I've noticed is there are these points in between, that are very short when everything seems "suddenly" better. It's a temporary moment of contentment. Being disrupted by another depressive episode is jarring. It can be a horrible cycle if gone untreated. This song was written during one of these "Sudden up" events.

Vivian Alice

Popular tracks