DELAYED ACTIONS OF A LIMERENT MIND

stopped seeing myself as if i am the problem
befriend the roof in top of your mothers room
couldnt stand to stay another night wit u
missed all your calls with no delay
i saw them ring, i couldnt care anymore
the softness in your face got all oiled up
you ran wit it, yea u aint never give a fuck

about it, about me
this was the end 
you couldnt see
i lost it
bout half a week
fore u noticed 
you lost me

wanna get off the east coast
wanna get to drive and
wanna find love like its meant 
wanna put my heart out
wanna reach out
but i am scared of gettin hurt
my friend said i dont have the heart for love
i guess i get what they meant
but it still hurt
to know 
but damn i will be ok
i tried so hard
to reach that high
but it never works out 
like i imply 
this feelings die off
like the butterflies
i will take that liquor
just to light the fire

its cold in late december
and i have nobody to keep me warm
i hope next year is so much better
thats all i hope to know

blur

you really thought huh
that it meant more than it was 
dead, could have found your love at the corner store
but you made it easy for me to make that choice
dear love, i stand corrected

and you wanted me on my knees, on my knees to pray for you
even when all was over, i tried to see it through
but we running against the wave cus our time is due
told me you wouldnt accept to see me with somebody new
well the fuck u think u are to shape my future under your rule
shit i am glad you are in my past, and fuck who's next in queue 

and my heart racing, as we race to the sky
in orbital formation, we scream until we die
and i am seeing my world now as it is upside down
and i close my eyes now, cant wait to hit the ground
and you could have been right here next to me
but you threw it all away for red eyes and your scenes
threw that coin in that water for me not ever meet no one like you

you really thought huh
that it meant more than it was 
dead, could have found your love at the corner store
but you made it easy for me to make that choice
dear love, i stand corrected

ORBITER

orbiter

[just the start]

------

lyrics 

do i keep u up all night?
u in love or frightened?
cus idk how to tell u this

i never learned so who am i to love
its never easy when i'm this hopeless and lost

but this time
i would like
for us to try a lil more
cus i just had laying 
in my head a single thought
we don't need a light
to see our shadows touch
oh baby, is this what's like to fall in love
to fall in love in fall

save me

come and save it
save the only the parts that made it
my life was on the line and i shred it
spent every single night just burning
the tears left in my eyes are dated
didn't see a future till u came in
thought i be forever on my own 

my own, my own, my own

redemption arc

shaadees of fall

cold, is getting cold
all i feel is getting old
all my fears, i dont care no more
i called it quits, long ago
but one night you became my sun
and shone me the way
i thought i was a goner
but you breath me new air
into my lungs
now i am racing up to you
but i slipped and fell
deserted, still
dont want it back no more
now i am so cold, is getting cold
all i feel is getting old
all my fears, i dont care no more
i called it quits, long ago
I cant open up
i cant open up
i cant open up
I cant open up
i cant again
i cant again
i cant again
i cant again
again

cold

tell me
you dont wanna come back to me
i been lost and i cant sleep
all of it for it not mean anything
all my life i sought for it
now its finally settling
i am alone and thats okay

thats okay

tell me (tell me)
you dont wanna come back to me
i been lost and i cant sleep
all of it for it not mean anything
all my life i sought for it
now its finally settling
i am alone and thats okay

(thats okay, thats okay, thats okay)

and maybe u gonna find all that you wanted
but just not by my side
if u cant make that choice 
than i will be the monster you couldnt be
now tell me
that i am lost but thats okay
all my life i'll search for it
i am alone and thats okay
boy thats okay

that's okay

we met on a somber night
was feeling dark and i needed the light
time ran slow we when locked eyes
damn where u been at my whole life?
you came up. u said hi
turned a few minutes into a few nights
told me your story while getting high
damn if we were alone
i could just ride it out
run this feelings just run me out
cus i could never stop the thoughts that flood my brain
when u r around, when u around
caught u lookin in the rearview
my eyes dilating when i see you
vision distorted, insides are burning
i cant no more

just let me in 
just let me in

we met on a somber night
was feeling dark and i needed the light
time ran slow we when locked eyes
damn where u been at my whole life?
you came up. u said hi
turned a few minutes into a few nights
told me your story while getting high
damn if we were alone
i could just 

ride it out
run this feelings just run me out
cus i could never stop the thoughts that flood my brain
when u r around, when u around
caught u lookin in the rearview
my eyes dilating when i see you
vision distorted, insides are burning
i cant no more

i cant let you go 

but this aint workin out no no no
this aint working out
this aint workin out no no no
this aint workin out 
this aint working out dear

but this clearly aint workin out
i will pack my things and just go
i was too late for you
i was too late for you
but this clearly aint workin out
i will pack my things and just go
i was too late for you
i was too late for you
maybe in another life we will make it
maybe in another life you'll understand
maybe in another lie
maybe in another lie

i was too late for you

i am drunk 
in the back 
of the party that we were
i am seeing stars
cannot comprehend a word u said
i hope u see it soon
see it soon

cus i thought i could change for u
be the type of guy that would entice u
but i couldnt make the sacrifice 
didnt matter how i tried

now i am at the back of the party
and i am high outta my mind
strobe lights is all i see
i want u off my mind
but dont come close
dont u come close, i am unliable right now

i am at the back of the party
and i am high outta my mind
strobe lights is all i see
i want u off my mind

shouldnt have gotten drunk knew i be a mess
thought i'd fuck around, found out real quick
that you didnt want me like i want you
you dont see it like i do
and thats alright, boy thats okay
thought in the end we'll be better as friends
but i guess that its not true
cus i want u

i want you 

now i am at the back of the party
and i am high outta my mind
strobe lights is all i see
i want u off my mind
but you tempt with your lips
and your scent so divine
you the devil in my eyes
guess i'll not see the sky
wait till everyone is outta here
and drag me to the back
will not be sated, just take me 
i'll let u fuck up my life
cus at the back the party
thats where heaven resides
thats where my heaven resides with you

back of the party

its so silent in this silo
but i never gave up hope
let the frequencies flow in 
and corrupt all my bones
i never was sincere with you love
even tho i really wanted it
it was never how i planned it
but i didnt want to say it out loud
if it meant i'll see u weep
but it didnt matter at all
you made it so hard me
felt my feet on thin ice
couldnt express my thoughts
only release was the goodbye
and it hurt but now i'll know

ill know
now ill know 

its so silent in this silo
but i never gave up hope
i'll suffer the few years
cus fuck, thats its all i know
i'll just heal with some time
heal all the wounds
but i left a couple untethered
every time i see your eyes the color leather
i know i shouldnt have wished u well
but whatever
now it just hits me at night
that you gone and that it took me to long to realize

i see that sadness in your eyes
it worries me sick, cus i know what thats like
more than i'd like to admit 
but in time i hope things do get better for u
and just know that i am right here for u
blink twice, ill, be by your side

dont get lost on me
you'll find a reverie 
that'll please all you need, oh

sad eyes

couldnt shed a tear for you love
your morose nature
got it down to your system
didnt get any pleasure
it was shallow, it was see thru
we were fuckin on the low
but u fake like the weed you sold
dry lips, plain face tats
couldnt give me no contact
reach out, dry texter
they treated you different down south
but now u stuck up here in that town
feet watch'in you down
you poor soul 
poor soul

couldnt shed a tear for you love
cus you wouldnt do the same for me
rough bones, bruised knees 
bruised eyes, cant sleep
lustin thru your teeth
want a share but i cant keep on flamin the sea
the smell of grass still on yo sheets
fucked once, bad on me
cryin out "no money"
bad scars leaking in
couldnt see the light in things
your roommate fuckin in the couch
we in the room, lights out
it was gucci for a while
turned dry, no lube allowed
fucked u till you lights out
lighter on the nightstand
cant wait to roll it up 
and talk about some nonsense 
just to get down to it again
this is not the life i am meant for 
you a chain, no ice
i aint meant for this
meant for this

fuckin on the couch
or in the room, lights out
it was gucci for a while
turn around, turn around round
till you lights out
lighter on the nightstand
cant wait to roll it up 
and talk about it, talk about it, bout it

nothing was ever perfect
but somehow it was still working
but whats the point of loving
if it aint never ending?

or maybe for a minute or two, 
i could give in and follow thru and 
do the things i wanted, things i wanted- things i, things i
it never worked out in the end
u still hit me as a friend
but i cannot compro- cannot compro, cannot, cannot end 

couldnt shed a tear for you love

nothing was ever perfect

would you say to me
i need honesty
would u leave that town
come all the way to me
leave it all behind
cross them state lines
sacrifice for me
what you had 
but i know it deep down 
you still in nyc
and its lights u look so pretty
you always said thats where you belonged

so tell me the truth
once you saw what you'd lose
you gave up on me
tell me honestly
i prefer that sting 
than a fantasy
thats why i said what i said 
and end it how i did 
end it how i did
cus in your eyes
they didnt hold no more light
for me

so would you say to me
i need honesty
would u leave that town
come all the way to me
leave it all behind
cross them state lines
sacrifice for me
what you had 
but i know it deep down 
you still in nyc
and its lights u look so pretty
thats where you belong

so leave me here
leave me here
leave me here

would you say to me
i need honesty
would u leave that town
come all the way to me
leave it all behind
cross them state lines
sacrifice for me
what you had 
but i know it deep down 
you wont
and thats okay now
cus i already knew

so tell me the truth
once you saw what you'd lose
you gave up on me
tell me, tell me honestly
i prefer that sting
than a fantasy
thats why i said what i said
and end it how i did
cus in your eyes i saw that
they didnt hold no more light for me

and thats why its over now
its over now
i am so so over this
its over now
its over now
i know we tried to
not call it quits and leave like this

honesty, an interlude

a warm winter night
caught u lookin twice
i cant help but get lost in those eyes
while u sittin there, i fantasize
what it would be like if i just got that chance with u
i'd be next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks, i'd be next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks

be next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks while i am next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks
i can drive the miles for the satisfaction
cus i dont get tired of ur gaze
in the am, i'll pull time backwards
just to say yes to u again
i'd be next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks while i am next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks 

and next to you
i'd have nothing to lose
and i can call you right back
just to lose some sleep
and talk to you, fall for u
i wanna try that all over again
cus i missed the first step and i tripped on my head
had my hand in your hair, feelings i cant comprehend 
even tho it might wrong, you just dont compare
to what i had back then
so tell me when you have nothing lose
so i can go and pull thru and do what i couldnt do then
still feel your hand on my chest 
a night of regret
but i would do it all again

as long as i end up next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks while i am next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks 

next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks while i am next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks 

i can drive the miles for the satisfaction
cus i dont get tired of ur gaze
in the am, i'll pull time backwards
just to say yes to u again
bitched out for the last time
this night wont end till your mine
but i'll fuck up again
i should have said yes
cus all i want is to be 

be next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks while i am next to u
next to u, next to u
i wouldnt give all them fucks 
and i really couldnt give no fucks
i am next to u (okay)

next to you

i had to end it
done with pretending this works
all my time im remembering
in another life, i would've known
the pain's never ending
all of it to end alone

i lay in this bed
in this room thats not mine
i am not surprised
i reprise my old ways
and in this room
at least i can feel
what i imagine it will feel like
a reverie

and in romeo's room
there he lies with you
because he sacrificed his life just to be with you
and down in romeo's room
light doesn't shine thru
cus u broke him until he gave up his life for you

ummm

dis moi dis moi dis moi 
dis moi dis moi dis moi
que yo te voi a olvidar
que yo te voi a olvidar
que yo te voi a olvidar
que yo te voi a olvidar
que yo te voi a olvidar

romeo's room

wont you say now that its done
that it all might have been a waste
even though now all your life
you might go in search for it
but i am gone, wont u say 
or would u say when u alone
u might still cry about it
and all those tears, they came delayed
and deep down yea, u regret it
well i am gone
wont u say 

and night when you on your phone
do you sometimes just forget
we no longer on a call
do u still call out "babe?"
i am gone
so dont say (you do)

do you still wait by your door?
did you already forget 
that day we were both alone  
on the sand we both engraved
i am gone
but don't forget, don't forget

i'm gone

you see the way i look at you
suck at hiding the fact that i might be this into u
ready to risk it all for the chance
i been down this loop before 
it never did me no good but i guess 
i got the time to waste

wait lets reconnect

walk past u
eyes connect 
i obsess 
a multitude
in my head it all makes sense
limerent, cant decide 
if to talk to u or to ignore u
mess in my head
i see u again
dont wanna bore u
talk to u endlessly
dopamine peaks
you show me empathy
its all i need
i want it all to make sense
i am getting worst at hiding it

cus look at you
oh, you see the way i look at you
i fucked up this time for sure
i cant keep eye contact
lost control
cant help my gaze
God only knows
how bad i want this
wont u say u want me 

walk past u
eyes connect 
i obsess 
a multitude
in my head it all makes sense
limerent, cant decide 
if to talk to u or to ignore u
mess in my head
i see u again
dont wanna bore u
talk to u endlessly
dopamine peaks
you show me empathy
its all i need
i want it all to make sense
i am getting worst at hiding it

compulsive thoughts drown my head
if this not love, i forfeit
i make myself believe that all u do 
just has to do with me
if this a dream dont wake me up
and if i am lost i wanna stay this lost
cus maybe one day ill be proven right
maybe once in all my life

total mental capture

cant see the sun from this part of town
i gave up all my nuisances for this
i know i cant give up like this
this town dont know my name yet 
but it calls it night and day
i dont ever wanna lose all hope 
like this again, please open up for me
all of my texts you left on read
for all my shows of affection, i felt a shame
i cant fix what was never mine to fix
but damn i tried, pathetically set
i am blind for this 
dont tell me to stop, i wont listen anyway
i cant escape it anymore
i am set here

oh jermyn
je-jermyn
oh jermyn
jermyn
tell me when i'be free of this
oh jermyn
je-jermyn
oh jermyn
jermyn
tell me when i'be free of this

sold my soul for the feeling
i will be waiting in the field
we can stargaze the night
i will be gone when morning comes
the rain dont stop falling
i cant live in a storm
i gave it all i had
and it wasnt enough

(enough)    ohh jermyn
                je-jermyn
(enough)    oh jermyn
                jermyn
(enough)    tell me when i'be free of this
                ohh jermyn
(enough)    je-jermyn
                oh jermyn
(enough)    jermyn

tell me when i'be free of this

vokeless

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