stopped seeing myself as if i am the problem
befriend the roof in top of your mothers room
couldnt stand to stay another night wit u
missed all your calls with no delay
i saw them ring, i couldnt care anymore
the softness in your face got all oiled up
you ran wit it, yea u aint never give a fuck

about it, about me
this was the end 
you couldnt see
i lost it
bout half a week
fore u noticed 
you lost me

wanna get off the east coast
wanna get to drive and
wanna find love like its meant 
wanna put my heart out
wanna reach out
but i am scared of gettin hurt
my friend said i dont have the heart for love
i guess i get what they meant
but it still hurt
to know 
but damn i will be ok
i tried so hard
to reach that high
but it never works out 
like i imply 
this feelings die off
like the butterflies
i will take that liquor
just to light the fire

its cold in late december
and i have nobody to keep me warm
i hope next year is so much better
thats all i hope to know

blur

everlasting

relief [as close as i can be]

restart

and i spoke to her
i told her all will be fine 
idk if i can it hold it no more
the tears are streamin out my eyes
please let her know for me 
that she will be alright 
give it a few more years
and i will be by your side
you are so far
yet i hold u close to me 
miles and miles away
you are too young to be in pain
and i know what that feels like 
trust me when i say
that it gets better than this

even if i cant make it up to you somehow, 
i will pacify your thoughts
i will lay you down and 
since i cant be with you 
than i will cry with you
you dont seem to see what's here to loose
nothing's forever, the happiness or the pain
theres ups and down
you might go insane 
but with time you will be alright

and i spoke to her
i told her all will be fine 
idk if i can it hold it no more
the tears are streamin out my eyes
please let her know for me 
that she will be alright 
give it a few more years
and i will be by your side
you are so far
yet i hold u close to me 
miles and miles away
you are too young to be in pain
and i know what that feels like 
trust me when i say
that it gets better than this

pacifier

baby catch me up on the west side
tired of getting home on my own
dont wanna feel the night was a waste yea
tired of seein u thru ma phone
boy dont switch up when the light die
gotta keep it up, dont fall short
will fuck u as if tonight was the last time
yea u aint gonna make it home 

got u pleadin for me
i dont wanna repeat
i want u to fall in love with it
your hands tied to my knees
show me what u got for me
i dont wanna be alone yea

am i fallin in love or just lusting?
cus when i grab u
thats when the rush hits

love, lust, in between the line
late at night i just hit rewind
think about everything 
i fantasized 
cant keep my hands steady yea
they reaching out to you
baby be quiet, its too loud to move
our friends round the corner
lets give no clues
cus i love it when you touch me down
feeling exotic, how u love it
and u going down on me
keep shuffling my toes
i will keep u on your knees
lets not take too long 
dont wanna make a scene 
you gon keep on resolving
what u do for me
what u do for me yea

am i fallin in love  or just lusting?
cus when i grab u
thats when the rush hits

baby catch me up on the west side
tired of getting home on my own
dont wanna feel the night was a waste yea
tired of seein u thru ma phone
boy dont switch up when the light die
gotta keep it up, dont fall short
will fuck u as if tonight was the last time
yea u aint gonna make it home 

got u pleadin for me
i dont wanna repeat
i want u to fall in love with it
your hands tied to my knees
show me what u got for me
i dont wanna be alone yea

am i fallin in love  or just lusting?
cus when i grab u
thats when the rush hits

okay, one two three 

baby, please dont let it 
get to you
its the truth
when you say it
i dont get it 
how could u love me
like you do
i may seem upset 
but its because i cant wake up every morning with you
i still hear the ocean
waves crashed into me
and purified me 
like u do

luustin/purify

nitemare

haunt me // i know cus i feel it [demo feb 2019]

cold, is getting cold
all i feel is getting old
all my fears, i dont care no more
i called it quits, long ago
but one night you became my sun
and shone me the way
i thought i was a goner
but you breath me new air
into my lungs
now i am racing up to you
but i slipped and fell
deserted, still
dont want it back no more
now i am so cold, is getting cold
all i feel is getting old
all my fears, i dont care no more
i called it quits, long ago
I cant open up
i cant open up
i cant open up
I cant open up
i cant again
i cant again
i cant again
i cant again
again

cold

tell me
you dont wanna come back to me
i been lost and i cant sleep
all of it for it not mean anything
all my life i sought for it
now its finally settling
i am alone and thats okay

thats okay

tell me (tell me)
you dont wanna come back to me
i been lost and i cant sleep
all of it for it not mean anything
all my life i sought for it
now its finally settling
i am alone and thats okay

(thats okay, thats okay, thats okay)

and maybe u gonna find all that you wanted
but just not by my side
if u cant make that choice 
than i will be the monster you couldnt be
now tell me
that i am lost but thats okay
all my life i'll search for it
i am alone and thats okay
boy thats okay

that's okay

chapter 2/10
-------------------------------------------
a soft gentle breeze is arising from the last storm...
-------------------------------------------
artwork by alena aenami - https://www.artstation.com/artwork/2yVJg
-------------------------------------------

ZEPHYR

WHERE THERE IS NO LIGHT

i tried to take a screenshot of the moment
of the moment you told me i was enough for you
but it aint so easy
cus now those words mean nothing at all, woah, umm

and ill see you past one
just to feel some type of pleasure
bae i will stay up all nite
wit you [wit you]
and maybe is for the worst
maybe its just a moment
but i sure as hell
want it again and i
i will try again
until theres nothin here
was there ever nothin at all

cus i know what is like to be torn apart
baby rip my shirt open, i am filled wit scars
from time and time that i tried to suffice that need
but it never did nothin good to me
but last night just for a moment 
i truly felt it down deep in my heart
and i dont know what thats supposed to mean
but i am willing to see this through
maybe it was you
for moment in time
i felt it woah
in this empty room
i am gonna loose my mind
but i meant it
cus i kept pushing back
and back again
fuck i will do this shit all over again
i will fuck myself up again
and get caught up and loose it oh

but you aint what i want i know that
all this precautions 
gotta blow out the room
you never saw it as a mistake
but i lied my way into your arms
and i know this thing will fall apart

vokeless

Pinned to spotlight

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