constant oppression, repetition, and desperation - this is the life i used to live four years ago.

he ruined me in so many ways - physically, mentally, and more notably, emotionally - all for the sake of fulfilling delusional scenarios.

i had to live through it all these past four years - suicidal ideation, intentional ghosting, emotional manipulation, complete disregard towards my wellbeing - you name it.

back then, i don't even have a voice, someone, nor a medium to turn to - but that's changed now and i'm happy to have a group of people that has got my back through thick and thin.

which is something that you'll never understand nor have.

if i have one thing to say about all this - then it's goodbye and good fucking grief.

don't believe in delusions

letting out all my frustrations over things that fill me with dread and uneasiness

dread (and all of a sudden, i was hated)

i am not me.

66 72 65 65 20 6d 65 2e

yt upload: https://youtu.be/_FCa0H_KRjY

/ / / / /

it keeps getting worse; nothing's working

we all know that there's no difference whether i'm there or not.

my wounds cut deeper and my plea for help falls onto deaf ears.

i guess that's how it is, huh?

whether if i'm breaking down behind closed doors, or sharing my triumphant victories.

it's only a matter of time until i show you what's behind this smile of mine.

[new ep soon, song inspired by nacho's "i've never changed"]

yt upload: https://youtu.be/YAfpDA13wq4

behind this broken smile

knowing this endless cycle that i'm trapped in, this "dream" of yours died way before it even started.

i tried to help, but you refused to change for the better.

it's a hard truth to swallow, but i know it's true. 

delusional fantasies and falsified dreams don't come to you - you should've known that by now.

but knowing you, you'd shut me up for telling the truth.

[from new album]

you'll never shine bright as her

that voice has been silenced and it begs to scream.

desperation fills the air, pretending.

you could feel it, before it all fell apart.

and i still remember everything you've said, so fucking what?

the silence awaits you.

this marks the end of a chapter. it's time i live free and start anew.

[from new album, out now]

[name is intended to be all lowercase]

live free; start anew. i'm just happy to be here.

--

member of:
- Dreamer Records (@dreamer_records)
- Novatone (@wearenova)
- Endogenic Noise Records
- Refractal (@real-refractal)

works appeared/featured in:
- "shimmer" for OGC2023 (Novatone)
- "motionless" for Orbit 22: Liquid Drum and Bass (Novatone)
- "guide me through" for Turkey/Syria Charity Comp (1kaze1)
- "we are dreamers" for The Dreamers 2 - the past. the present. (Dreamer Records)
- "vexation" (solo release at Dreamer Records)
- "222bpm breaks to fall asleep to" for Type-A Breakers (kirairi)
- "soulless//manic//delusional" for Endogenic Noise Compilation Vol. 4 (Endogenic Noise Records)
- "synthetic glitchscape" for NEURO NATION 02 (Refractal)
- "nullbreak" for vivid/stasis Chapter 4 (Hajimeli)
- "A New Hope - Left Behind (vervid! remix)" (remix release at Dreamer Records)

--

for contact: vvdxtunes@gmail.com / discord or twitter DM's 

(important contact note: ANYTHING RELATING TO AI/NFT'S/CRYPTOCURRENCY WILL BE REJECTED - NO EXCEPTIONS)