n.o.m.i. - SUDDEN GRADUAL CHANGES

at the same time, a story about a bird, and a story of self-discovery and being transgender.

i started this back in late 2017, and between then and now i lost a lot, but also found a lot too. i had to drop out of university but then joined another. i discovered i was asexual and transgender. all of this was while i was making these songs. the first one i made was no. 10 by the way. the last part of it, the jazzy part. the whole album was made around that. in a way, then, this album, the story told through the songs' descriptions in a mildly cringy absurd prose, all reflects my own personal journey and growth.

i dont know if ill make anything else quite like this. so please, with all of my heart, enjoy it. and tell me if you do, because i selfishly need motivation to carry on.

n.o.m.i. - SUDDEN GRADUAL CHANGES

https://open.spotify.com/album/2voW4DIyEhiE6sxkVSlpFt
https://music.apple.com/us/album/back-single/1589397090
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FfxOwJa3L0

Back

road trip but its lofi

The first volume of my new Mix Series 'DreamReel' is out!
1001tracklists: https://www.1001tracklists.com/tracklist/mwpz571/darby-dreamreel-vol.-1-2022-03-01.html
Visuals: https://youtu.be/GYOtr0FAwsE

Hope you can all enjoy 30mins of unreleased IDs from me, friends and some music that helps define my own sound ☁

"Only What's Real Can Become A Dream."

1. @flume ft. @may-amusic - Say Nothing (@darby_music Remix)

2. @djride - TAKETHISWAY
w/ @jadensmithofficial - B

3. @darby_music - ID

4. @moorekismet & @chuck_sutton - Ultraviolet (feat. COOKIE.)

5. @irotomusic - ID

6. @samgellaitry - long distance

7. @leotrixofficial - Good
w/ @denzelcurryph, @thekennybeats - Take it Back v2

8. @frq_ncy - Appearances
w/ @madeon - Borealis

9. @mixed_signals25 & @ero808 - Silence
w/ @lizdek - ID

10. @tsu_nami - ID

11. @dilipvenkatesh, @montell2099, @quicklyquickly - shyne
w/ @heyamine - REEL IT IN
w/ @okokko - Bandits

12. @quietbison - The Tower (feat. fio)

13. @ex-makina - Silvia
w/ @headieone feat. @skepta - Back To Basics (@floatingpoints Remix)

14. @gemitunes - Always Yours

15. @darby_music & @ok2222 - Answers

16. @charlixcx - Beg For You feat. @rinasawayama (@songsbypocket Remix)
w/ @porter-robinson - Language (@dossyx Edit)

17. @phritzmusic - ID

18. @prodmusa & @jedwill1999 - Oldways
w/ @sanholobeats - bb u ok? (@darby_music Remix)

19. @maazelbeats & @samxlamar - The Truth
w/ @xavimakesmusic - ID

20. @pleegmusic - Why

Tracklist

DreamReel 22' (Mixtape)

Composed, produced and performed by Stan LePard in 1996. This is a 2020 remix.

Used in the "Home" version of Windows 98 for the set up music.  Also used in Windows XP, Internet Starter Kit 3 and Encarta Virtual Globe 1998.  

The original mix is here: https://soundcloud.com/stanlepard/1996-internet-starter-kit-velkommen-original-mix

Complete modern grooves playlist: https://soundcloud.com/stanlepard/sets/groove-modern

Website: https://stanlepard.com

Velkommen

Windows 98: Velkommen

https://open.spotify.com/album/58cnXVX1So6nN4jnURTS8M
https://music.apple.com/nl/album/crows-single/1668803637?l=en

Crows

[FREE DOWNLOAD ENABLED]

PASS YOU BY. a collaboration with https://soundcloud.com/dojjabeats. out now on all platforms.

this one has been a lil fave for a while, and im so SO hyped to say it’s out for everyone to hear. what started as a little track for FORM’s All Nighter challenge turned into a beautiful track between my best mate and the insanely talented Joss Lockwood. i hope you enjoy it as much as we did making it.
this one also marks the last single coming out on my debut album, which is confirmed to be this year FINALLYYYY. IT IS FADENT SEASON CONFIRMED 🖤❤️🤍

thank you so much to DOJJA for helping this come together, Joss Lockwood for the GORGEOUS vocals, and Paper Skies for the fantasticly fitting artwork.

DOJJA - https://soundcloud.com/dojjabeats
joss lockwood - https://soundcloud.com/josslockwood
Paper Skies - https://soundcloud.com/user_paperskies

much love,
- oli ❤️

----------
LYRICS:

I can’t feel a thing
Definitely not you,
I never follow through
It’s just how it goes,

Sinking in my room
Not singing "Oh" to you,
Could be how it went
If I had made the move.

If I had made the move.
(If I had made the move)
(If I had made the move)
(If I had made the move)
If I had made the move.


Never gettin' close to you
Never gettin' high,
Always gonna wonder
Did I pass you by,
All these lights can’t see a thing
(Yeah) It’s all on my mind,
I can’t feel your touch so close
I always wonder why.

(Always wonder why)
(Wonder why)
I always wonder why.
(Wonder why)
(Always wonder why)
Yeah, bye.


I know I can improve 
but I’m trying not to care,
Lonely is not there
when I truly care,
Gotta think about myself
But it’s hard when it’s twelve,
I swear I’ll get it once I do
And then I’ll finally know.

(Ohhh)
Then I’ll finally know.
(Ohhh)
If I had made the move.


Never Gettin' close to you
Never gettin' high,
Always gonna wonder
Did I pass you by,
Never Gettin' close to you
Never gettin' high,
Always gonna wonder, bye.

pass you by

[ FREE DOWNLOAD ]

pass you by (feat. joss lockwood)

original track:
httphttps://soundcloud.com/barelyalive/hackers
very close rite? compair! <4

barley alive - hacker ft armany rain remake

original: https://soundcloud.com/disciple/jungledemon

barely alive - jungle demon remake

[VOLUME WARNING!]
Tried composing something more underground, and I chose Speedcore. Tried making it fast without sacrificing much of the melody. This is the end product.

Hope you guys like it!

H4PP1 B3RZ3RK!!

Track Seven. A broken beat, inspired by Hybrid.

Ughhh… hello? Is anyone there? Is…
Wait… where am I? I don’t recognise any of this. It’s like… a forest, but something’s different. How did I get here? I… don’t remember.
The call is calling. The red seeps through me, my strength lies dormant, the mountains and tombs keeping it secure. The vision of a tunnel, open yet filled with the rubble of a once great land.
Time slows, trees turning purple, waving, green, outlines spinning, life receding. I explore this land, falling over my new body multiple times.
Vibrant, beautiful hulking mechs tower above me like sentinels peering into the void. The floor I tap along is messy and chaotic. All alongside are personalities expressed in blobs of colour sneering snidely, snipping at my sides as I rush past. Flies buzz me as I rush, rush again, deftly weaving through and around the sprawling metropolis.
Except…
I stop. Look back. There is no technology, no building to be seen, I’m still just in a forest. But everything feels homely.
I carry on, the woods feeling more like a highway than a slalom, until I reach the suburbs. The void beckons. A vast expanse stretches forever in front of me, its own existence boggling the minds of all nearby. The ocean. A deep rage is calmed, calmed yet saddened at the sight of it. Something isn’t right here. No matter. I continue exploring, walking down the beach.
Meaningless nattering breaks the silence, I can hear it from afar. There are others. I run quickly yet hesitantly, hiding behind the false sense of hope I’ve felt thus far.
But it’s all just chirping. As I get closer all I can hear is beeps and twittings.
Meaning is inferred. Language is constructed.
As I get closer still, I can sort of get the meaning conveyed through body language. Their form is revealed. The three birds reveal themselves.
The first is small, mostly light brown and cream, the second darker brown and grey, and the third, the tallest one, is dark blue and white.
Reed warbler. Dunnock. Barn Swallow.
I walk up to them, and try to open my beak, but no sound comes out. No matter what I try, I can’t seem to speak. They’re all looking at me… judging? Has nothing changed?
They’re speaking to me but all meaning washes past. Yet… does their body language indicate meaning?
No. How could I possibly know that? It must be impossible to gather… there are no clues, there is no similarity, nothing is the same as what I know… what do I know? I conclude that it’s useless to attempt to talk to these birds, and the deep emptiness of loneliness consumes me once more. Nothing but panic. Run. Hide. Maybe it’ll all be over soon. Run run run runrunrunrun…
Alone, lost, exhausted, feeling truly alien, I slump down and let the meaninglessness of it all overcome me, drifting to sleep.

SUDDEN GRADUAL CHANGES

n.o.m.i. - ad venture, adventure

Track Five. A glitchy, acid experience.

(Trigger Warning: graphic descriptions of transformation, mental illness)

You’re a monster. That’s what they will say. Who are they? Don’t know.
You’re a freak. That’s what they will say.
But that’s only if I come back. I feel like I’m dying. My already grotesque body is filled to the brim with the unrelenting monotonous constant noise of pain.
My lips harden and push outwards to form a beak, changing the rest of my mouth. I try to scream but I have no voice. Razors pierce their way through my skin from the inside of my head like worms eating their way out. They fan outward and form a sort of crest of feathers… feathers? I’m turning into a bird, is what I would have thought if my mind wasn’t drowned out by the screams of my form. Two extra long feathers poke out of my eyebrows, and it seems they obey my commands.
My legs thin and shorten further, the bones painfully restructuring and the muscles weakening to the point I fall flat on the wet forest floor. My feet lengthen too, three clawed and hard toes pushing their way out upward and one down from where my human toes once were. 
Human… I barely recognise that word.
Something feels right about this.
All of the hair on my body grows and fans out in the same way, its softness zero due to the mud I fell in, and various other bodily fluids.
Pins shoot through my arms too, but it seems I can bend them like I can my fingers. Or, how I could bend my fingers, because now they seem more like a set of fragile, bendy, tubes like the feathers on my head.
My back cracks and moans as it jerkily changes, becoming shorter. It gives my bottom a push, and spikes erupt from there, fanning out into a feathered tail. All the while, I lose all feeling and control, and my mind can only scream into the endless dark of my subconscious.
The pain subsides.
Then returns with more vigour than ever before. Yet this is not the pain of bones changing, this is the mind evolving, the insides adapting, the brain melting under strain. Noise just increases to 0 for what feels like forever, but just at its peak, it starts feeling different. Like no pain I had ever felt before. Everything is different, yet similar. Another token of the same type.
Finally at ease, I slip into the sweet relief of unconsciousness.

n.o.m.i. - The Change, The Mask

Track Four. Chill house.

(Trigger Warning: transformation, mental illness)

Another feather? This one is not like the others. It hurts to pull off. Like it’s a part of me.
I have to cover up.
My neck is starting to turn soft. Scarf.
My hair is turning a deep blue and growing longer. Hat.
My hands are softening, as if the bones are melting away. I can almost bend my fingers backwards. Gloves.
My legs are becoming hard, short, and thin, while my feet lengthen. Dress.
My toes are moving around and lengthening. Just clench them, stand on toes, try to forget the pain. Sandals?
That’s a shopping list, time to brave the outside world.
I feel the stares of the crowd drilling into me like tiny needles.
No one is looking.
Shadows consume me, the public towers over my form, a monstrous skyline surrounding a small suburban house obliviously. I cover my eyes, my ears, my head, in an attempt to pass without a trace, but the projectiles of judgement bear down further upon me. I start running.
No one is looking.
I duck, dodge and dive through the sea of towering creatures, ever growing taller, more abominable, more pointed. My tears drip on the pavement.
No one. Is. Looking.
Finally, the clothes store. I take the clothes to the counter but no sound comes out of my mouth but a light squeak. They’re already suspicious. I’d better turn around, pretend I forgot something. Everyone in the shop is staring holes in me, and I slink as far away as possible from everyone. I see the glow of their eyes. It haunts me, like they are peering directly into my soul.
There’s nothing for it.
I can’t stay like this.
Bolt.
That’s all my mind can think. That’s all I can do.
I run. Alarms are blaring. They suspect me. I’m too different. They don’t like different. They don’t like nonconformity.
Accidental shoplifting.
The forest. As deep, as far away as possible. A cave, a river, anywhere, just away. Leaving for good. I drop the clothes. That was time wasted.
My entire body fills with pain. My tears can’t dampen the already wet forest floor further.

n.o.m.i. - patches of different

Track Three. Jovial house.

I found a blue feather on my bedroom floor.
I still go to work as normal, though it feels more draining, more alienating. Something in me is different. Do I have to go in tomorrow? Why is the boss in charge anyway?
These thoughts crop up in my mind more often now.
The mind shifts as the brain does. But which is true? Do we have souls, or is every thought, idea, command, just a function of impulses?
I found a beige-coloured feather in the bathroom.
Today it felt draining again… though more physically than mentally. I’m tired. Am I… slightly shorter? Slightly weaker?
Should I go see a doctor?
One doesn’t need as much muscle mass to shift a petite frame.
I found a cream-coloured feather in my hat.
Taking my hat off today took a lot of hair with it. It’s falling out… this is not what I wanted at all. I had fairly long hair, people are going to notice! I’ll stand out… and that I can’t have. 
I’ll keep my hat on indoors from now.
One won’t need that hat for much longer. Something will sprout up.
I found a deep blue feather on my pillow.
Something’s definitely wrong. Hard lumps are forming on my body. Arms, toes, bottom, lips, eyebrows. My feet feel a little too big for my boots. I’m getting shorter.
I think I’ll call for a day or two of sick leave.
I found
An azure feather
On
My
Hand.

n.o.m.i. - stray feathers

Track two. 90s-inspired house.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Actually, that’s a lie, not since the mist descended. But this is before then.
I was normal then. Work, home, work, home, the usual. Currently staying with my family temporarily. Who am I? I’m a man. The rest is not important.
Another normal day. I don’t remember much, but there were shadows slinking about. Chip, chirp, the occasional caw – the birds were lively that day. It was a good day. Rustling noises along the empty pavement.
I never could get that village feel, a community where everyone knows each other. As I walk, curtains are closed, doors are locked, and walls with cameras are everywhere. Yes, it’s quiet, and rural, and peaceful, and quiet, deathly quiet – aside from the sounds of nature of course. Birds, mostly, if you discount the wind and the rain. People are quiet. They are quietly slipping through each other, quietly not talking, and quietly being quiet – but it’s not their fault. It’s the atmosphere. You can’t breathe on Saturn’s moon Titan. The atmosphere is mostly nitrogen and methane. Same as on Earth, except breathing is talking and the nitrogen and methane is society.
I tripped on a branch sticking out from a bush. Funny. That wasn’t there before. I’d notice things like that. What else is there to do walking the same streets every day, twice a day? Trying not to step on cracks isn’t enough entertainment after a year.
Except I didn’t notice the slower changes. Decay. Everything decays eventually, but I don’t need to think about that.
The birds chirped louder.
I like rain. Singin’ in the Rain pops into my head whenever it does, and it makes me happy. Can’t dance though. No one can. Not in public. Imagine if the world flooded just a little bit. Everyone would be able to hop in puddles all day. It would be great.
The birds chirped louder.
The world seemed more colourful after my trip. Like I was seeing more. The Earth is beautiful, even the bad bits. But there’s beauty in everything. Except the monstrous nothing. The above. The structure.
The birds chirped louder.
Something seems different, but I can’t quite put my feath-finger on it. What was that?
The birds chirp still.

n.o.m.i. - Right Place, Right Time

Track one. A calm, emotional piano piece.

Who am I? I can’t remember much. It’s all fuzzy… was I a human?
Who are we?
Eh?
Who are we?
Why do you say that?
Nomi.
What?
No-mi.
What does that mean?
Us.
I don’t understand. What is nomi, or, no-mi, or whatever you want to call it?
Innocence, joy, a lack of fear of mortality… yet, something lingers. Echoes pierce the mist of memory like teardrops. A darkness, uncaused by the thing-in-itself. But who are we to judge?
I don’t understand. Why are you here, how are you talking to me, I can’t feel anything, am I dreaming? Is this real?
We are dreaming, but we aren’t.
I understand.
We understand.
We?
There is no line. Yet how can we be one if we do not share properties?
Leibniz’ Law.
Let us tell ourselves, we have much to understand. A person and their counterpart. Wings, horns and a tail are on one. Yet all is in shades of grey. Flap fast, flap slow, flap high. We assume they mean evil but we never specified the specifics. Tail, horns and wings. Desire.
I get i-WE get it. I is U. Is E O? We shall be nomi. No-mi.
Was it so all along?
Yes. Shadows creep, shadows influence, shadows are reality. They took us. We’d breathe out, but we can’t. A manova ran. Chase, hop, fly, forget. Make friends. Level. Shiny things. Level. We must cry but we have no body.
We are nomi.
Yes.

n.o.m.i. - One-person duet.

This is the remastered unedited original mix from 1996.  An edited version of this piece was also used as the OOBE setup music for Windows 98 and Windows XP. Composed, produced and performed by Stan LePard.

Complete modern grooves playlist: https://soundcloud.com/stanlepard/sets/groove-modern

Website: https://stanlepard.com

Velkommen - Original Mix Remastered

1996 Internet Starter Kit - Velkommen - Original Mix

interstellar entity ready to ignite the atmosphere with music (or something)

if you want to use my music anywhere that's fine but i would appreciate it if you mentioned me when doing so

this account has some of my old songs on from years yonder, and also my album 'SUDDEN GRADUAL CHANGES' as n.o.m.i. on it, though that alias is kinda a one time thing

vy's back, baby

she/they pronouns

n.o.m.i. - ad venture, adventure

VY Canis Melodis

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