desolate

With blood I could taste
I sit and I wait 
I'm scarring up my body
And I'm bruising up my face 
Two damn days 
Since I felt you next to me 
it's hard to deal with distance
when without you I can't breathe

You can hear it in my tone 
You can hear it in my laugh
Something in me changed 
And I been sure of that 
I'm leaving Bacardi 
She's all on my mind 
I say the same shit 
But it's different this time 
I can't handle bullshit
My blood pressure high 
Weed it helps with panic 
Fuck a pill, no clonidine
Still I stay romantic
But i'm fucked up in the mind
I hate that I ain't handsome
Baby just give me some time

I feel you in the evening 
I swear I'm tryna do my best
can't reciprocate the feeling
Of your lips upon my neck
I miss you when I'm sleeping
need you more with every breathe
I'm sorry for the distance 
But I'm tryna to do my best

Said I'd have a short life
but it wasn't in my fate
I'm 21 nowww
With too much shit up on my plate
the moment she would cry
I would feel my heart deflate
at least I know now
Shit won't ever go my way

Lost in the sky
But I can see when you when I cry
Holding onto hope
but confused if I'm alive
I can fix myself
baby please give me some time
I hold my resolve
as I break down through this life

I been longing for a sign
for the bond we create
it's all in due time
so for now I'll just sedate
it's been a while now
since I last been out my state
I hate she's gone now
god I'm missing her taste

sep6_hurt (branwen)

fuck needing friends 
with these beats I'll be fine
no amount of destruction 
could alter my grind
I still miss my nonnie
and all her advice 
I'm still fighting urges 
To pick up the knife
Slice to my skin
watch the redness arise
drinking and self harm
is crazy combined

I cough up my lungs
And I stay to myself
the doctors don't love me
they're ruining my health
I am my own enemy
Mixing these pills
but vodka with cranberry 
helped what I felt 

I don't need you
And don't need no help
I can roll me up a blunt
And smoke it by myself
I don't need me no company 
to keep my sane
I been making music
And enjoying the rain
I don't make no love songs
I talk about life
complicated as fuck
But the same every time
who would I be
If I took my own life?
who would I be
If I left her tonight?

With stool in the sheets
I don't bat an eye
I just care for these people
to help my own mind
I smile as I bleed
From a dopamine high
And I barely can breathe
From the smoke that I light


This year, been a long haul
But it's over now my dear
one for trying different vodka shots
but now I'm only sipping on beer
I could fuck up a good thing
and do it all from anger/fear

anger/fear (ciche&jarn)

lyrics🎱

I hop out my car at night
And feel it in my chest
Losing her hit different 
When I wasn't at my best 
Coping with the comfort 
Of attachment to my bed 
understand that she left 
why's it feel she never did?

Why I feel abandoned 
When I know it's not her fault 
No cussing when at Nonnie's 
That ain't changing cuz she's gone
I'll miss her till' the day I die 
Then we'll be back as one
I lay awake at night and cry 
Her back is all I want

Feeling dizzy from the weed
In this cigarillo
head bumping to the beat
of the instrumental
As far as I can see
I won't hit the pillow
And for what's wrong with me
Shout-out willow

I'm too sad
You're too mad
This won't work out
That's too bad
I know that
I won't hurt now
I cry
you cry
We hurt ourselves
if you die
I'll try 
To kill myself

I just wanna call you 
I need to speak with my nonnie
you checked out just a little too early
I'm trapped, lately I've been so lonely
I just need someone to hold me

I can't even catch my breathe
I ain't kicking back a bottle
she would only be upset
lately drowning in my problems
her spaghetti was the best
Now I'm stuck with memories 
That I cannot digest

It was her time 
I'll say I get it 
Now making her proud's become my only mission
I'm sick from thoughts, and I can't dismiss them
I miss her much
I miss her living

Are u still smiling?
Cause I'm still crying
Wishing I didn't feel so alone
This got me fucked up
Right to the bone
Right to the bonee
I'm so damn lost
Don't know where to go
Her arms aren't here
so I guess I'ma smoke
(I love you nonnie
I love you Nonnie
I fall the pieces 
When you're not around me)

bereavement (okaykoda)

Lyrics 🎱

Drink in my cup 
With nothing to do 
Lost in my thoughts 
While I'm staring at you 
Take many L's
I got nothing to lose
No Prada, da Vinci
But look at my shoes
My heart is not working 
I pop out the fuse 
My demons stay lurking 
Don't know what to do 
I still reminisce her 
While I'm kissing you
I blow out her back
Every night like it's new

Here lately in love 
I just look at the clues 
Posted in bed 
With a blunt watching news 
Send weed to my head 
Just to prevent The noose
Can't get out of bed 
On the days that I'm blue
I smoke till I'm green in the face
And I been taking some shrooms
No acid, can't find it
But I ain't no regular dude 
You can't take what I take 
You can't do as I do 
I been changing perspectives 
And I been altering views 

I pour my potion 
And sip till I'm gone
I'm stable for now 
But won't hold for long 
I feel I'm creative 
With this broken dome 
I Drink till I'm faded 
And smoke out the bong

I know I ain't shit
But I live up to hype
Blunts in rotation
That's fatter than pipes
Blood in the air
I can I smell it tonight
Met a foreign bitch
Who's gonna fuck up my mind
Triple sec
With a cube of ice
You can see I'm hurting
But I'll say I'm fine
With pain comes learning
Gonna strengthen my psych
I got pills in my pocket
That would blow your mind

Got shit in my lungs
That would shiver your spine
I'm all about fun
With that thang on my side
.380s, no babies
I don't got the time
This music creating
Is s weaving my life
I wasn't the problem 
You know you're the cause 
It's hard to believe you
With blood on my arms
I barely can see you
So let's make it count
I'm planning to leave you
And I can't block it out

Was it something I said?
Could we change dynamic
I'm running on "E"
And I feel so pathetic
Just leave me to be
Let me lay in this hammock 
Regret what you said
In that night full of panic
Spew out some words
Oh I'll never forget it
The darkness consumes you
Unless you don't let it
I get that I'm broken 
You've already said it
I'm stuck in my home
3 am smoking lettuce

triple sec (sorrow bringer)

Lyrics 🎱

I drive past your road
No it wasn't an accident
Hate I'm alone
No she won't take me back again
I'm in my home
Splitting blunts then packing them
It's hard to believe
Now she's gone
Will I laugh again?

I pull on this pen
And exhale my own thoughts
Decaying of lately
I'm stuck growing moss
My health is declining
I turn and I toss
Inside of my bed at night
I'm feeling lost

I got ethanol in my veins
I feel so lost
I swear I'm okay
Stuck in my head
I live in my brain
Been needing some help
But I take in the pain

Sipping this twister
And chugging a tea
Without her I'm lost
I don't feel a thing
I try to forget it
But it's on my mind
They say it gets easier
Just give it time

If I disappeared
Then in life would you miss me
Drowning in fear
From the fact that I'm living
In need of a savior
I can't save myself
I whisper to demons
With weed on my breathe

She said that she needed me
Why is she gone?
Preventing from seeing me
It's been so long
Lately feel crazy
I've talked to my walls
Converse with the dead
With my eulogy flawed

Swear to God
I'm used to feeling lost
Used to feeling empty
Getting double crossed
I don't trust that easy
I know what I want
Wanna sleep forever
Lemme breathe the exhaust

I'll do the vocals
Handle piano
Sliding on beats
With my shitty soprano
I sought my past
Yeah it's hard just to let go
I knew I was sick in the mind
From the get go

accident (prod. johnnyfriend)

Lyrics 🎱

Stuck in this body
don't wanna be
hard tryna find love
Whenever you're me
hard to be done
with liquor and weed
I'm sadder when I'm sober
it's hard to believe
With all of this shit 
Floating round in my head 
It's harder to get up 
And stay out of bed
Repeating this cycle
I'm already dead
Right down to the follicle 
Fucked in the head

Hennessy Gatorade
take all my thoughts
Without all the alcohol
I feel so lost
I live in the moment
Despite what it cost 
My brain my opponent 
I drink till I'm sloshed

yeah depression a bitch
I hope I don't slit my wrist
I'm tryna get fucked up
pour a beer sip the fizz
this is sad how I live
I'm ruining moments that I get
I'm sneaking shots of different gin
and then I say I don't pretend
I feel like shit, cause I'm the man
these weirdos fucking with some kids
I'm not one for the Vicodin
I take percocet 

When I'm gone
No, this shouldn't take long
I just wanna see you
I'm bout to take off
I'm tryna see you baby
Get me out of my thoughts

I know that things are hard 
I know that I'm depressed 
I know that things are feeling different 
lying in this bed 
With sins I won't forget
I'll take secrets to death 
I got lost while growing up 
I fucking hate when it reflects

I'm tryna find my way
Feel like shit, but getting paid 
Mama told me it's okay 
I wipe the pain from out my face 
Stay inside on sunny days 
Hate when people see my face 
I got secrets in my closet 
Probably will never change

closet (tenguzavr)

Lyrics 🎱

I clocked in at 3
And I'll work till the night
This feeling's free
at the cost of my mind
I rarely can see her
But she match the vibe
I wanna believe her
but care bout my life

I swear I try to fix myself
at the bottom of the barrel
Or the bottle couldn't help
Still I'm steady striving 
for a way to find myself
I talk a lot bout dying 
couldn't care less bout my health

I want to be somebody else
Quarter sack I'm packing 
From the corner of the shelf
I don't need nobody's help 
I drink away my feelings 
And pretend to love myself
So now you're worried bout out my health?
I pour this vodka back 
And tell my friends I'm doing well 
I'm fuckin hurting 
Could you tell?
I stay awake at night 
From everything that I had felt 

I'm stressed
I can feel my heartbeat
things been complicated 
every since I left the car-seat 
I'm a mess
My arms are looking like some chopped meat
sick of people switching up
just give me someone concrete

Getting twisted in my thoughts
Thought she loved me
Why's she gone?
Didn't stay for very long
hear my pain
Throughout my songs
painted nails
She give me top
she's hot as hell
I'm just a jock
I get swindled in my thoughts
broken fender on my car
cigarettes throughout my yard
empty beer cans where I park
I feel alive when it gets dark
 
Roll me up a fatty
And turn on the game
sipping on some natty
with gas in my tank
it's gone be a good night
Oh I know, I don't think
life can get ugly
with pins in ya brain
whenever you fuck me
call out my name
nobody's above me
damn it's a shame
got that dog in me
No I couldn't be tamed
heart break on a sunday
And I'm not to blame
I struggle in this life
carrying all of this weight
a beast in the night
I could never be maimed


somebody else (okaykoda)

Lyrics 🎱

Woke up without a clue
What happened last night
I pour shots inside my soda
Then I take flight
I'm a legend in the making
When it's late night
And I wake up a lil hungover
To the daylight

I pray to God
That I make it till morning
I drink to myself
With addiction that's forming
I'm hiding my welps
In this hell I'm enduring
I throw back this jose
And thrive while it's burning

Last night
I bout ended who I was
I sat around and cried for hours
Staring my at gun
It's hard to live this life
When you're putting up a front
It's hard to live this life
When a fuck up of a son

Possibilities
Live throughout my thoughts
Go and take my conscious
So I forget it all
I was buying pounds
Posting "people come and shop"
But no amount of money
Could every be enough
And no amount of liquor
Can take me out my thoughts
You could take my brain
But never ask me why we swapped
I keep my baby loaded
And you know I keep it cocked
I could whoop some ass
But I won't ever fuck with cops, no

Take off to the moon
I'ma live with the stars
No words can describe
All this pain in my heart
No shit I'm prescribed
Doing more than these carts
I think I might die
I sense pain in my art

Whisper some sweet shit
Just tell me you love me
You got me? I got you.
You never could bug me
Wouldn't give up
Till I turned us to something
Couldn't shut up
I just need you to love me

She don't even know where to start
And I don't know myself
I start up my car
And attempt to forget
The bass shake my body
This feelings legit
My windows are foggy
From smoke that ferments
Ganja on ganja
I smoke till I'm lit
I text my momma
To see how she is
I'll die for family
It's just how it is

Honestly life is so ugly
Stressed bout some people I lost
And it bugs me
Guess I was dumb
When I thought we were something
Wish I would run
Stead' of letting you love me
I'm smoking runts
Since you're not here to hold me

life is so ugly (jtbeatz)

Lyrics 🎱

Lay your head on my chest
And let's pretend, all is fine
I'm making up, for all I missed
And treading water in all due time

I feel that I need you
So don't break my heart
You've pulled on my heart strings
You've tugged from the start
I don't want to see you
I can't make it right
I spew out these words
But could never describe
The feelings I feel
In the dead of the night
Kiss me through the phone
Tell me everything's fine

Perhaps, the consequences
Will rise
Look to your left
I'm with you tonight
This trips gone be different
Just feel out the vibe
My bedroom is breathing
But it feels so right

Skin to my skin
In an alternate life
Take what you can
And then tug on the pipe
Love can be felt
Though it's lost in the light
I felt you here with me
Throughout the night

I miss the taste of her lips
It hurts
Going through hell
Just to see it gets worse
Blood on my jeans
As I live out this curse
What's life to me?
It's a waste, send a hearse

Talk to me baby
All of this ain't adding up
And when it comes to loving you
I'm building us on trust
We could fuck it out
Unless you wanna fight and fuss
I'm oozing out my brain
This shit is leaking like it's pus

Been about a week
Since I last cut
All the shit that you had said
Had turned my heart black
If you didn't wanna leave
Then why'd you say that?
She belong inside the streets
And I won't go back

skin (akassshhhiii, jibaorockin)

Lyrics 🎱

You're in my bed for a reason
I'll teach you some lessons
I swear that I'll mean them
My heart on my sleeve
I barely am breathing
I feel palpitations 
And I know you're the reason
This life that I'm seeking
Can't reach it with trust
I show you I love you
You don't give a fuck
You don't give a fuck
About me, or anything that I do
My momma and drugs
Are stopping the noose
choke me to death
As I cry in my room
(My heart on my sleeve
Idk what to do
I get lost in my thoughts
When I'm thinking of you)

palpitations/intro (soprettyanxiety)

Lyrics🎱

Lizzie:
I really thought what we had was real
I don't know what happened
You sort of played me for a fool
It appears you don't really care now, so
I guess the joke's on me

hook:
One time for the effort
Two times cuz my heart hurts
Three times cuz you were the worst
But I'm glad I got to say it first
You were prayin on my downfall
And now it's all kinda beautiful
I really thought we had it all
Lol, I - I guess I was wrong

w8std: One chance, make my heart hurt
You're leaving again
what about what you said?
you claimed that you had me
were we just pretend?
Now I'm stuck alone
with my head in my hands

I stare at her lips
With nothing to say
She bringing me death
But I smile anyways
I thought we were close
what an empty facade
I miss her the most
when I'm crying alone

Rust on my body
bitch I'll give you tetnis
If I take a shot
then i turn shit to reckless
still I'm caught up
on what she said then
i'm feeling fed up
and sick to my stomach
(chorus by the one n only liz)
(back to me)
One time for the effort
Two times cause my heart hurts
and I know it could be worse
now when she calls
She's getting the tone
when you said you loved me
Was it just for fun?
you completely played me
I'm gripping my gun
I'll stare at the sky
As I offer my soul
I'm pissed bout the shit
I cannot control
I miss her the most
When I cry all alone

jokes on me (ft. lizzie calisto) (Christ)

Lyrics  🎱 

Damn I soured the soot
maggots surround me
I am 6 foot
Deep in the ground
when i'd scream
it would hurt
you push me aside
while I'm putting you first

this shit is poetic
I'm lost in my words
still I'm pathetic
But you're not concerned
having a concious,
you never learned
I'm gripping my Taurus
Just like I had rehearsed

I know that I start it
but I'm lost at words
she say I'm retarded
but really I'm cursed
depressions a bitch
yeah my head bout to burst
she look at me, smile
and then she do her worst

fuck all the benzos
I'm taking a perc
30s or nothing
Cuz i'll never learn
problems with pacing
it's raising concern
the feelings amazing
the comedown the worst
the green I be blazing
take me out of earth
I'm going through phases
and question my worth
Showing up late
but still I'm at church

I'll rise from the ground
and I'll move all the dirt
I won't make a sound
but I'll fuck up the earth
this feeling profound
my revenge gonna hurt
blood by the pound
as I'm dripping on dirt
I press the gas
and they watching me skrt
I'll stand my ground
And I'll make sure it hurt
surely depressing
But it could be worse
blood on the ceiling
and some in the hearse

fckuptheEARTH/outro (maysmusic)

burden (ft. benimaru) (eskimos)

shoutout @tommyice the goat.

Lyrics🎱

Tommy Ice-
(I'm onto another one
I took a hit of another one
I made you my number one
You made me your number two
So I guess I'm the shit, yeah
I'm shitting on y'all
I got drunk and I shouldn't have called
Drunk and I shouldn't have called)

I tried now you fucking with my head
I lied, now these people want me dead
6 feet, like it's eternal rest 
I tried, didn't matter what I said

w8std -
The burn in my stomach
from seltzer and gin
can't take back the words
that you shouldn't have said
I'll try to forget it
I don't understand 
why hurt me for fun?
was all of it planned?

Can't back down 
But I'ma pay the price 
I got two missed calls 
In the middle of the night 
got a four gram blunt
And it's packed real tight 
Got a lemonade on me 
And of course it's spiked

Too much pressure 
Need some sleep 
Taking pills
And rolling weed
Everyday I'm getting chills
Every night I'm losing sleep
no one feel just how I feel
I ain't who I wanna be
You been fucking with my head
now you ain't shit to me

fwm head (ft. Tommy Ice) (stafford)

🎱it's all for fun<3 

🎱business inquiries: w8stdlol@gmail.com 🎱