Smart phones are great. First draft, based partially on an emily dickinson poem.

Its all I have to bring today
this and my heart besides
this and my heart and all the fields and all the meadows wide
be sure to count should I forget
some one a sun could tell
this and my heart 
the purest springs
and all the deepest wells
but how can I offer you my heart
when you won't see it at all
but for your trees
cathedrals green
shut out the mountain tall


Missing the point (unfinished/quick phone take)

It should have been a revelation
but I know it by heart, know it by heart
that it was just my expectations
that broke my heart, they broke my heart
But they still crept in anyway
So Anyway...

With all the motions out of context:
some half-life by comparison-
there's always another contest
that I can never win, and I don't wanna 
cause what is 'winning' anyway?
So Anyway...

And with every devastation
I kept my head down, kept my head down
too proud for wearing out my patience
but the again I've found, I have found
can't call that living anyway
So Anyway...

Anyway (from 2013)

tell me how
can you know the whole story?
when it's singled out
by lines you think you're seeing?
that doesn't mean
you're seeing me
and I don't think 
that you're listening
when I say I've learned how
to walk with it
so you can't tell me now
that's what it is
don't tell me now
don't tell me now...

you've pulled out
only to fit your own meaning
but I have found
a truth and it comes from just being
and I know I 
can't make you see
that map is not
the territory
and I've learned how to walk in it
so you can't tell me now 
that's all there is
don't tell me now
don't tell me now.

don't tell me now

guitar/vocals: Chels
Recording: Isaiah and Sam

I said so many times 
never again, never again
I stared at the sun and it left me blind
but still I stand but still I stand
was it just lightning and ice
it was so bright, you were so bright
I swore I saw the northern lights
and I'm still looking to the sky

And all those tender times
I shared with you, I shared with you
I know that they weren't lies
but they weren't quite the truth, weren't quite the truth
but when our skin was the same
and in your arms I hung my hair
and it was I who called your name
I know you were with me there

I just wanted to see
through your eyes, through your eyes
and I could feel your colors in me
but they are yours, they are not mine
but they still have their hold
they're in my head, they're in my head
your kaleidoscope- it shifted me instead


Kaleidoscope (unfinished)

guitar/vocals: Chels
Recording: Isaiah and Sam

if you never know just where you stand
then how should I know where you'll land
and you just keep turning on and off again
these days I measure your love in milligrams
But I can wait
And there's nothing left for me to do
but lay my arms down,
so I lay my arms down
Cause if this starts it ends with you
and I let my guard down

Now I'm going in and going out
cause I can't tell what you're about
and I can't tell the truth from coming down
I'm waiting for the day you'll come around
But today is not that day
And there's nothing left for me to do
but lay my arms down
so I lay my arms down
Cause if this starts it ends with you
and I let my guard down.



Lay My Arms Down (also unfinished)

guitar/vocals: Chels
Drums: Isaiah
Keyboard: Spencer Rake
Recording: Isaiah and Sam

My ears are ringing and my head is spinning
from lines of sound and smoke and that coke you're talking in.
I'm sorry I didn't realize I was in a stranger's house.

Such a familiar voice but with such a foreign tongue
steals the love right out of my eyes and the breath from right out my lungs.
I'm sorry I didn't realize that I was in a stranger's house.

And you've chosen these words
And I know that you know just how much they hurt
And I'm sorry  I was the one who made it out.

Stranger's House

So apparently my friend Brandon Milner snuck a tiny box into my house, and turned a live take into some twangy magic.

Oh it's never enough
no it's never enough
for me to see it, no...
I've gotta feel it oh...
Down in my bones

But each day I wake to find
that this body isn't mine
No, I  can't feel it, no...
I can't feel it oh...
Down in my bones

Cause there's something there instead
and I swear it's fucking with my head
It fills my marrow Oh...
The marrow (oooohhh)
Down in my bones

Down (etc)

So now my days are just the sadness between
what you say and what you really mean
THAT I can feel it Oh...
I feel it oh...
Down in my bones

It gets harder for me to trust
that the warmth will ever come
and I will feel it Oh...
I'll feel it Oh...
Down in my bones

Down

when i come home she is lying
barely moves her head to greet
but that spot of green in her eye
it looks like home to me

and oh my love
i feel you getting colder
and oh my love
i fear we're getting older
but it still feels like life to me

when i draw in to her white
her scent so soft and sweet
though she passes just a sigh
it still sounds like love to me

and oh my love
i feel you getting colder
and oh my love
i fear we're getting older
but it still feels like life to me
it still feels like life to me

(I miss my cat.)

Jena.Feels Like

None of this is actually what it's supposed to be. Material from 2009-15. Mostly phone recordings with reverb... a few studio demos with reverb.... At least there's reverb.

Haskin