Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h6OcvFVeWh4NNBTc3uFJIyWyT9eOeyG59r7QRNtI2TI/edit?usp=sharing
Quizzique as Redd
Mancha as Spamton
Written by MetaMachine and GamingPlush64
Mixing by ENNWAY
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by 2Deep
Hint for next battle: "Absented minded knuckleheads"

Spamton vs. Redd

Happy mother's day

BobcatXtreme as Antonio Tabacchi
Zawesome as Buck Cluck
Writing by Alchemyking
Art by A Trash Artist and Luke Reardon
Beat by ENNWAY and Leo Barqui
Mixing by SIR Rap Battles
Cover art by JK03
Special thanks: Freshy Kanal, Eric the Audible, SimplyRazzy, MultiSuperVids, Belle Beniko, Taiga, LimJJ, Pure Ice Blue

Antonio:
How’d you end up down here? This site’s forbidden knowledge!
Well… I guess you look like someone who needs College
Well, no matter. When I chop your head off, you’ll wish you fled faster
Said your son should take it up, but I’m the true chessmaster
You’re the most pathetic Disney chicken since McWhiggin
Dishing out burns like Azoth, now that’s finger lickin’
Send you down a well or pipe; it fits, ‘cause you’re washed up
What’s a fall like that? You’re already at the barrel’s bottom
I admit, I led my daughter down there to die
But your film’s still the worst tragedy of 2005
You were the first sign your fans would weep hopelessly
Lily’s failed clones are animated less horribly
Crow that you’re the best ‘cause your son rised to the challenge
Both you and my research incite violent reactions
Quit mourning Chloe, ‘cause now I’ve also laid you to rest
A jack of all trades about to take an Ace out the deck

Buck:
I can tell you’re bluffing away
But you gotta listen to your peers, even if they got nothing to say!
For a guy running a College, this professor’s stupid
Between your life and game, I can’t tell which has the worse resolution
You need to get your facts straight on what you think matters
Whacked your offspring because she trashed your weed whacker
After the Acorn Incident, I know a nutjob
But hey, I guess both you and your daughter were cut off!
Don’t fuck with the Buck to the Cluck
I wish my son would shut up, but at least he knows when something is up
And I’m always there to tuck him in covers
You suffocated your daughter; you’re supposed to leave her smothered with love!
Aw, what’s the matter? Hung up like the love of your life?
You’d only have a son if it was a chunk of the sky
So don’t talk ‘bout my parenting tactics
‘Cause a dad as rotten as you should be left down there with the maggots

Antonio:
That verse was just another thing meddled with by editors
What, you gonna shoehorn a pop song in your second verse?
And with dated references, this chicken’s tasteless
Call them Chicken Little, ‘cause your claims are baseless!
Neglecting Ace ‘cause you don’t wanna be seen as a fuckup
With how you’re never there for him, I should call you Buck Cuck
Keep in mind, the depths of the well are limitless,
And all it takes to fall down is One Little Slip.

Buck:
Dropping your little girl down won’t help you raise a kid
When my kid’s abducted, it’s by actual aliens!
You tried to make her scared of outsiders
But now your relationship’s at a loose end even she can’t tie up!
After the invasion, I sure know how to weave through streets
So I commend the way that both your daughters fleed the scene
How ironic for a game made by Pure Ice
That this is just the second time you’ve been burned nice

Antonio Tabacchi vs. Buck Cluck (Lily's Well vs. Chicken Little) - Disney Rap Battles!

Cover Art by Tom Puffs @TomPuffs

Egomanic as The Zodiac Killer
Stasious as Slenderman

YDGeon as The Announcer

Lyrics Written by Pwner

Audio Mixed by Cidisswo & Mr. Jay.

Lyrics:

CIDISSWO RAP BATTLES
THE ZODIAC KILLER
VERSUS
SLENDERMAN
BEGIN



The Zodiac Killer:


Am I in 2011? Is this guy even relevant?
Fuck it, I'll come back to killing beats just for the hell of it.
I murder and leave in a hurry. Police scurry as I'm chilling.
Your tentacles are less scary than a Little Mermaid villain! (Oh!)
A soulless man with no personality? The suit fits
'Cause you're no horror figure! You're a corporate executive!
I cut San Fran citizens' lives like their Grim Reaper.
You stalk kids? Minecraft should have no mob from this creeper.


Slenderman:

Something Awful is coming, and I don't mean your raps.
Shoulda kept your cypher in a cipher over hearing you yap.
This recluse is set to lose when Slender Man's let loose.
You're nasty and pathetic. That's why they thought you were Ted Cruz! (Ahh!)
Slendy's the darker Slim Shady to fill with dread.
The shit you spit is garbage; keep it in that bag on your head.
You wanted slaves in your afterlife, but now I'll make you my proxy
Ripping through your body; making it an easier autopsy


The Zodiac Killer:


Go finish your Krusty Krab shift 'cause you lost this.
This octopus will flop like a fish…and his box office.
You scare with Eight Pages? I can scare with only four.
They'd never take you serious as Hugo Boss mannequin folklore!
See if you can crack my code on the serial killer box.
But I doubt you can face it from the lack of face you got!
You even stole my symbol, but you'll wish you never copied
'Cause I cooked your creepypasta with a side of calamari.
 

Slenderman:


Watch this victor surge to the top as you fall.
I grow several stories tall. Your story's got no one enthralled!
You called yourself Zodiac? You think that's dope?
It sounds like a psychotic teen girl who reads horoscopes!
You're just a bogey dick I step on like gum on my shoe.
By the time I get in your mind, there's nothing you can do.
When they finally find you, your corpse will be reeking,
So take your last scream. This is the Zodiac shrieking.


[Outro]:
WHO WON? 
WHO’S NEXT? 
YOU DECIDE

CI DISS WO 
RAP *gets shot by the Zodiac*
BA TTLES…

The Zodiac Killer vs Slenderman - Cidisswo Rap Battles

Undertale vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle!

TheMonarchy As The Narrator

King Ducky As Sans

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Art by M&Mattie

Mixed by Jort

Cover Art by Tompuffs

Prod. Anywaywell

The Narrator:
This is the story of a man named Sans he’s
A man shamed as he cant save family
But not to worry at least Sans's plan has been campaigned grandly? 
Haha! Pop the champagne Stanley

Sans really talks as if he can control the hand of Frisk
The alt Ness can't ctrl his tab at Grillbys while in massive debt!
Chara thought outside the box Sans granted them a stab at it
By sleeping on the job, fits all he asked for was a pass out fest

Sans:
Need advice on how to spit? Stay in your own lane
Take it step by step, it's basically your whole game 
The birds are singing, the flowers abloom
On days like these players like yours should get out of their rooms 

So uh… I miss something? Or did ya get a bit stunted
Ya get done in by skip button and tin bucket 
Kick it if your next verse is as unparable
Who would’ve guessed the button pusher pushed his buttons (ba dum tss)

The Narrator:
No more ba dum tss! 
That monotonous voice from a SpongeBob clip makes wringing you out on the top of my bucket list 
Just monsters in a pocket underground, well I’m on top of it!
The glutton couldn’t stomach Frisk, a ketchup stain was all that’s left

You just sit viewing the human's kills to not do them in?
You only lose your head once your brother loses his!
When you intend to do something you get hit then are through with it?
All behold the stupidest, ugliest, fattest being to exist!

Sans:
Stanley’s gone, you’ve crippled him, a disease in his own head
But all that’s needed to finish your shit show is schizo meds
You double down and grumble just to spout condescension 
But fall victim to a fall victim and lose out on your zending

From locked in the boss’s office suite to a broom closet sweeping him off his feet, both stopped his need for context constantly 
Wrong paths lead to long rants seems your story is hypocrisy
You talk of freedom but get awful mean when Stanley's off his leash

Sans vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle! [ft. TheMonarchy]

prod by SAINT-DROP

than

I’ve conquered galaxies
Stars and planets kneel before my massive fleets
All is grasped between my palms so Ganon’s region is not worth vanquishing
You’re called calamity incarnate? That’s the name they oughta had for me
Cause if you reincarnate, then this body’s guaranteed

Your power’s so finite
Only spanning three timelines
You’ve been a bore in my eyes
And I don’t mean the swine kind
You’d die twice when you and a child fight
But I’ll help rewind time
You then got a fresh start when you met your demise like

You hide in fortresses til a half-pint warrior kills ya
Just a sitting duck when you have no Courage and Wisdom
You’ve only ever had Power, cause when it’s in my hands
You’ll end up just as empty and barren as your own desert land

gan

Pity… for an Eternal, you’ve no eternal youth
I get purple too, but only when I look at you
Horrid creature, being born a leader is what I’m suited to
It’s my birthright, something that you couldn’t do

Girlfriend’s a skull head, I’d say he’s just as dense
Cause this weak man can’t see that he’s slave to all her whims
So much cowardice that now his own face has gotten split
Cause you’re an ace at being able to take it on the chin

You can’t conquer - any star that you find
When Nebula’s your daughter - and you’d toss her aside
And you nearly ruled the cosmos - but you thought your - artifact died
So go on and have mine, for YOU just seem to LOSE power all of the time

than

(*thanos gets the power triforce and uses it to complete the infinity gauntlet*)

You just made a mistake. A grave one.
The Cosmic Cube then or your Triforce now won’t shape up
So cough up your armies and squadrons
Ironic, I slaughter your gauntlet of bosses with a gauntlet

(*thanos starts fuckin, bashing shit round hyrule with the gauntlet*)

With how you store your currency
You can’t afford my mercy
When your rainbow shards are scattered far and they get lost in random pots until a boy goes burgling
In the homes he lurks in
So I’ll show him what a REAL home invasion’s got

All of your goblins and Lizalfos’ get chopped to death 
And it’s obvious to me that any sort of Guardians aren’t a threat
You’re a lunatic, your planned purge was flooding the damn Earth?
I’ll do Hyrule a favour and snap - before you snap first

(*thanos snaps*)

gan

I applaud and laugh! You left my army halved!
But they’re only there to ensure I get a proper match
You really dare to split me in two? You’ll see me halved then…
Cause now you’re talking to GANON

(*ganondorf kinda just doesnt care and turns ganon*)

Some rodent left your MASSIVE ASS FLAT
So if you’ve mastered betrayal, you’re better AS A DAMN RAT 
I’m the only person that you CANNOT BACKSTAB
Cause you’re no rival, I’ve a dark side THAT YOU CAN’T MATCH

But Thanos, know I’m thankful for the crafts and forces that you’ve brought
For after your defeat, your men will fall under my grand control
To have the stars and beyond is a chance I hold
But first I now command you all to bow before Ganondorf, your brand new lord

(*ganon takes control of thanos’ fleet and goes on a big space adventure :3*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

this specific battle was inspired by this one battle rapper named jey the nitewing, who is like the definition of aura, so i wanted to write a battle that sorta encapsulates the mad king energy. some other battlers that inspired this writing were dizaster and real sikh on ganon’s side, but this is mainly inspired by jey in general.

for this battle i wanted to focus on setting a tone of like “you dont fuck around w these guys” and the substance of the disses sorta suffered from that, but ermm i kinda uhh dont care lole. hopefully i was able to deliver what i wanted thru the writing and performance, but im just glad knowing that i was able to pay good tribute to the mad fucking king 👑

Thanos VS Ganondorf - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

WARNING: This battle contains substance reference, as well as strong profanity. Listen at your own risk.

Welcome back to MC Fawful Rap Battles! Today, two ADHD vs Autism mentalities clash, with the rapper famous for the Wednesday saga of albums, Chris Webby, against… The Autism Creature? Look I couldn’t think of anything better, I had another TBH matchup but it just didn’t feel right. Uhhh, who will win? Will Christian come out as the highest in the room (that’s his song right)? Will TBH wow the audience? That’s for you to decide!

CREDITS:

Zander as Chris Webby (audio)
Ego as Chris Webby (video)

Kurobane Azia as TBH

Written by MC Fawful
Beat by Clinstrumentals
Mixed by jort
Art by Evrywunzf8vrit
Cover-art by JotaSeis
Special thanks to PotFork

Alright, I think that’s it; stay tuned for the next installment of MC Fawful Rap Battles!

Chris Webby vs The Autism Creature - Rap Battle!

Tank

TheMonarchy as Sherlock Holmes 
Zxy as Watson 
MetaStarVA as Albert Einstein 
Written by WeThink 
Mixed by Box
Beat prod by Jafo Styles
Character art by WeThink 
CoverArt by Toastie 
Special thanks to Corncob, Chaotic Rap Battles , Toastie & WiseOwl24 

Lyrics : 
Einstein: 
Let’s start with something simple, like avoiding this matchup 
We can replace it with a class on Astronomy or basic social interaction 
I could make you my pupil (hmm) or I can make you cry (huh) 
Resisting the math is futile when beating you is as easy as pi 

Beat you in jeopardy, Chess and Tic Tac Toe 
Even Oppenheimer is less of a misanthrope 
A mind so bright trapped on his brother’s shadow 
If Bending ears’s an art, then you sir, are Van Gogh 

High on your own fumes, this druggie shoots up 
Stay in that office shielded & cooped up (hmm 
I find repugnant all the tramps you employ 
It’s bad when even the doctor’s sick of your ploys 

Sherlock Holmes: 
Unfortunately Mr Einstein, I do have to ask a lot (like) 
How did someone who traveled lots never took a trip to the barbershop 
Now you shall be gobsmacked by my British charm & whitt 
But first we shall celebrate the USA allowed you spar & spit 

And I must say they life you chose is something I do not respect 
Defend the freedom of people who’d take away yours for being well read 
Your love life is a tragedy, so I’ll asume you were desperate 
Even disregarding the theories Einstein, she is still your relative 

Einstein: 
Dont act like you get The Woman, Irene would rather end it all 
That spend another minute having to deal with this animal 
Your mind spirals, while mine’s renowned around the globe 
You’re simply a Fibonacci sequence to my Da Vinci Code 

Personally I’m done with the stories of Jerk & Jill 
If I wanted some who’s all bark , Id visit Baskerville 
You’re Victorian I’m victorious, putting yourself in constant peril 
Proof your intelligence doesn’t register on an emotional level 

Holmes & Watson:
Holmes I thought you were joking facing a literal troll face 
More so Watson , I’m just trying to crack this basket case 
But for sure ain’t detective work hes just egotistical 
From doc to doc your oath to peace seems kinda hypocritical 

Too true , he’s crooked too, screw you, rude boob 
I’ll take the piss of this pacifist ha! Like the US used to 
In millions of civilian deaths is what’s your legacy is passed on 
Beating an old coo was Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes vs Albert Einstein - Literary Rap Battles! Ft. TheMonarchy , Zxy & MetaStarVA

We Think Company

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