Miss You

The Muffin Song

Tortoises Don't Have Gills (gilliweed)

Tortieboo

El Tortois Song (new version)

Six years ago in September of 2009 a miracle occurred. In the end all we needed was one beautiful cock (I can attest), three pussies (silky sweet), a shit ton of acid, and one very horny dog. As you may have guessed, it was at this time Royal Jelly was formed.
 Royal Jelly was not just a band, but it was also a bond. We were bound by our love for rubbing  genetalia against inanimate objects. It was a time of true love and harmony. When Mark’s penis was the one true focus of all our minds. When it was okay to imagine olives dripping out of your teacher’s vagina. When it was ok to strip in the middle of practice and play drums with your breasts. Ah yes, if only we could go back. But life goes on. 
Mark went to the Navy armed with his bottomless meat tube, Dj went to Scotland to join a brothel (where she became quite happy because):
a) Scottish accents are sexy
b) The Scots also have a fetish for pencil fucking, meaning her body remained pure while she made maaaddd bank
c) The pencil-fucking thing made Bob Saget OD proud and shit
Beth too made a living through her sexual prowess. Turns out her practice with RJ really helped in the end. Ever been flute fucked? Beth designed it.
Me? What did I do? Well, I just stayed here masturbating to exotic plants. I mean, honestly, what did you expect? And yeah, I may have ingested some of them too, so long as they didn’t get too much cleam on them.
Anyway, it is true that we turned out all right in the end. But at what cost? 
I look forward to a day when we are reunited, and when we die, I hope we will find ourselves in a naked pile, victims to the thrusts of that one scrotum-less dog who brought us all so close together.

Merry Christmass!
<3 Jellybelly



Dj Thomas- Bass, Vocals
Beth Treffisan- Flute
Mark Byrne- Guitar, Drums
Shira Adams- Guitar, Drums, Vocals


Royal Jelly

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