Weekly Humorist Radio News. Breaking News…Into Little Pieces.

http://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/WHRN-June21.mp3

Radio News Round Up: Trump & World Cup Whoppers

Weekly Humorist Radio News. Breaking News…Into Little Pieces.

http://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/WHRN-June13-edit.mp3

Radio News Round Up: IHOB and Bill Clinton

Injuries are a part of every sport. A hockey player might lose three or four teeth in a game, while never leaving the ice. In American football, 49ers defensive back Ronnie Lott once had part of his pinkie finger amputated so he could keep playing.
But in soccer, sometimes it’s difficult to tell how serious the injury is. Or if there’s even an actual injury.
With that in mind, here’s what to look for during the 2018 World Cup:

Player Falls To Ground Holding His Ear.
The player has just heard Nicky Jam and Will Smith’s World Cup anthem “Live It Up” played somewhere in the stadium. After ample time to check and recheck their ears for blood, the player will be able to resume game activities.
If for some reason, Shakira’s “Waka Waka” has been mistakenly played, they may need to be stretchered off and get a squirt from a Gatorade bottle.

Player Falls To Ground And Rolls Twice.
The log roll injury display is a popular form of injury that will require the attention of the head referee and stop the game. Generally, the more rolls the player completes, the less severe the injury actually is. If it’s half roll, though, recovery might necessitate a slow walk to the touchline, a quick jog to restore function to injured area (wherever it is), and a squirt from a Gatorade bottle.

Player Falls To Ground After Being On The Receiving End Of A Head Butt.
You can’t be too careful with a head injury. That’s why it’s best to go down before any contact can take place and then writhe on the ground, holding your cranium, and thinking about what might’ve happened.
Play can resume after you walk off the pitch, give your head and face a squirt with the Gatorade bottle to remove any non-concussion concussion symptoms.

Two Players Fall To Ground After Knocking Heads Together.
Soccer is more like American football than people may think and this injury proves it. After a clash of heads the

A Viewer’s Guide To World Cup Injuries

Weekly Humorist Live 6/27

Dear Mary,
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to move forward with attending your wedding this spring. Unfortunately, I receive a number of qualified applicants, and I have to choose wisely. I don’t usually give feedback, but in this case, the wedding you’ve submitted is not a culture fit for my social life because you’ve failed to provide information on whether or not there will be an open bar.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny

Dear Sarah,
After careful consideration, I have to report that I’m unable to add your wedding to my social calendar. I have a 10% acceptance rate on wedding invitations, and unfortunately, another wedding that same weekend is a better fit. The wedding you’ve invited me to appears to be a green card marriage, and, while I want only the best for you, I’ve decided that a real marriage between two people who know each other is more qualified. Please don’t hesitate to reach out again in the future if you are getting married again.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny

Dear Mark,
On behalf of myself, I want to thank you for taking the time to invite me to your wedding. I apologize for the delayed response, and I understand that your nuptials may have passed. I received over 6 wedding invitations in the last year, and the decision to not attend any of them was a difficult one. In your case, I am unable to advance your wedding to the next stage of consideration because it’s a destination wedding in Belize, so I assume you don’t even really want people to come.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny

Dear Kristie,
Thank you for your wedding invitation. I’ve decided to move forward with a different activity that Sunday, but I appreciate the time you spent emailing me an invitation and 17 beautiful pictures of you and your fiance on what

Wedding Rejection Emails

Weekly Humorist Radio News. Breaking News…Into Little Pieces.

http://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/WHRN-June28.mp3

Radio News Round Up: Supreme Court & Space Force

This episode of Talkward welcomes guest Tyler Gildin! Tyler is a digital media producer and director who got his start as the first comedy editor of Elite Daily! He does stand-up comedy, develops and creates viral media for name brands. His recent new project has been producing a documentary film entitled ‘The Starfish' which tells the story of his grandfather's very fascinating path to America. Follow him @tylergildin and enjoy many, many photos of his dog.

#16 Talkward w/ guest Tyler Gildin

Weekly Humorist Live 7/11

Weekly Humorist Live 7/18

This episode of Talkward welcomes guest Caitlin Kunkel! Caitlin is a satirist, author, pizza scientist, and co-founder of the very popular comedy site The Belladonna. She co-wrote the upcoming book NEW EROTICA FOR FEMINISTS, which you can pre-order here. Caitlin is a delightful person, my book club host and my neighbor! Follow her instagram @kunkeltron and twitter also follow the many adventures of Zander her dog!

WeeklyHumorist