Al Jolson Black White Face Herd Cattle auction out of Texas somewhere

The Auctioneer

The Auctioneer Cometh

Uh, a whimsical treatment of pie farts, farts achieved after an excess of pie, coffee, and self-discussion.  I feel that such candor was intentionally omitted from the repertoire of many great Copelands, including Kenneth, Aaron, and Stewart, and would have aided future artists named Copeland in terms of approachability, accessibility, and the realization that the lives of artists named Copeland are filled with the commonplace and the frivolous.

The Dropsy's

This should accompany a movie in which a farteur and his entourage enter a restaurant that features a small house ensemble.  After appropriating the restaurant's ensemble to play his sheet music, that of a fart concerto, police are called. The farteur flees across the restaurant, flies through the room by a chandelier, and escapes out a side window.  He leaves the scene by pointing his ass at the police captain just before he leaps out the window.

Pulling The Finger Of Life

You got a right to like yourself
If it's just you and no one else
But, tonight when there's ladies around
You've got to sit yo white ass down

Sit Your White Ass Down Mockup

Slide

Owl Party

I repeat, I do not think that I am Pit Bull.  Jumped out of bed in my Memphis hotel room New Year's 2009, 1.5 hours before a very contentious business meeting, and slapped down the hook on my laptop.  It came to me as the 2-cup coffee maker was gurgling with complimentary brown, tasteless liquid.

No 3 Leiderhausen Press Kit

Hocus Pocus by Focus

Might As Well

He was the product of a back-seat romance
I had to feed the hairless thing myself
Since the day that baby drew down on me
My life has been a living hell
Now I'm a-sleeping with one eye open
Surely gonna be the death of me
What my little bitty man's got on his tiny mind
Why, it's murder in the first degree 
(And his first words were) 

[CHORUS]
Daddy, please don't take my gun away
I can’t imagine anything that’s worse
If you’re gonna pry the gun from my cold dead hands
You might as well kill me first

Second Verse
Called the county, said please come take him
But the county just turned me away
Said all the baby bins were plumb full up
And they weren’t taking kids with guns that day
And the case workers, they drop right in
Now that I’m on their radar screen
They look in my closets, ask me questions
I tell them everything is peachy-keen

[But the boy yelled over my shoulder and said]

Daddy, don’t let ‘em take my gun away
Can’t imagine anything that’s worse
If they’re gonna pry the gun from my cold dead hands
They might as well kill me first

Bridge
I was a tow-headed boy
Didn’t know that the Devil wore nylons
With ten little toes in the place of her cloven hooves
Didn’t think that a love so true 
Could breed such violence 
Now I’m a sitting duck, and the end can’t come too soon.

Third Verse
But to my surprise, the boy was digging a trench
and stringing barbed wire cross the lawn
He spat as he shouldered his RPG
Told the case workers “bring it on,”
And I must confess, I got all choked up
And for the first time, called him “son”
Things go better with family
Even if it’s gettin’ blown to Kingdom Come.

[And as the angels were fitting us for wings, he said]
Daddy, don’t let ‘em take my gun away
Can’t imagine anything that’s worse
If you’re gonna pry the gun from my cold dead hands
You might as well kill me first
You might as well kill me first


Might As Well

'95 Strat and JBL E120- equipped Musicman circa 1974.

Gilligan Steals Pie

Song by Edd Hurt, performed by Edd Hurt and Too Stop Starty

Friday Night

Music is neither problem-solving nor a competition, but simply organizations of sound.

Weirdpicker

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