"There's no one else you'd rather be."

x

this is a night for bad decisions
your silence speaks louder over smoke
we can't go back to where we used to be
but maybe life could get better


maybe that's all we're meant to be?
"pretty and lonely people"
all I wanna do is be alone
just with the right people


got it twirled 'round your hair and your hands tied, somewhere there in the canvas where the paint dried: beautiful, catatonic — but they all lied.


hey, have you made the right decision?
you're at the mirror, trying not to choke
you're far away from where you used to be
but maybe life could get better,

in little strokes

x

words and music by mika manikan
guitar and music by kurvine chua
produced, mangled, and cared for by both

Nighttime Fire

Maturity (Single)

Maturity

"Give yourself time." 

x


drove down those streets that night 
calm in the back of my mind 

[ Looking for those lights, looking for that life. ] 

your voices in my ear, 
my Periphery returns to me 

In a place where it’s alright to disappear for a while 

[ Looking for those lights, looking for that life. ] 

where I will be 
no one will see 
periphery 
returns to me 

where I will be 
no one will see 
just let me be 

In a place where it’s alright to disappear for a while, I’ll go home to you.


x 

.wendil is Mika Manikan 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 1 and 2), mixing, and mastering by Kurvine Chua 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 3, 4, 6), vocals, lyrics, and album art by Mika Manikan 

Additional vocals by Miguel Manikan 

All music produced, mangled, and cared for by Kurvine Chua and Mika Manikan

--- 

Special thanks go to my mother (who kept us sane all throughout), my father † (the instigator), my brothers (the voices of reason), Kurvine, Monique, Nooters, Marco and Anne, and their beautiful cats, Ate Moppet, and the rest of my large, wonderfully insane family (who believed in me), the Spindle Fam (who pushed me), all the bands and artists who came to support the launch, the people who stayed (you know who you are), Funassyi and Panda, the spirits of nature, and the universal force that moves us all. Peace! 

GSS038 - Genjitsu Stargazing Society

At Year End

"I'll love you in a new way now." 

x

idonotneedyourunsolicitedadviceorcareinthe 
nameofyourloveforme(withyourneedforcon 
trol)ifyoutrulylovemeasyousaygivemethespa 
ceineedbackawayfrommylifeandgoliveyoursi 
donotneed"checkups"idonotneedyoutotellm 
ethatyouthinkihavegrownorthatiamstagnant 
youarenotinmyshoesyoudonotknowhowdiffe 
rentiamfromwhoiwaswheniwokeupyouarenei 
thermyheartnormyskinmymindnormybones(t 
houghyousodesperatelyseemtowanttobe)yo 
udonotknowhowmuchi'vestruggledtobewhoi 
wanttobe,tobewhoiameverysingleday,tolove 
whoiwanttomakethechoicesiwantformeyoud 
onotknowhowsatisfiedibecomewitheverylittl 
etriumphwhenicanstandupformyselfwhenica 
nbetruetomeidonotneedyoutomakeexcusesf 
ormeidonotneedyoutomakelabelsformeidon 
otneedyoutomoldmeintoanimagethatfitsyour 
understandingidonotneedyourdisappointme 
ntyourdisdainyourdisapprovalwhenigoagains 
tthatunderstanding 


LEAVE ME ALONE 
I just want to be. 

........................ 


i dont appreciate that you love me 
in the ways that you think i need 
i dont appreciate that you love me 
for selfish reasons 

i dont appreciate that you love a memory 
if you wanted me to stay then you should've let me change 

i did not feel like crying when you told me to cry 
it did not make me feel better when you told me i was better 
it does not make me happy when you hate in my name 
it does not make me happy when you turn me into my name 

i appreciate that you love me 
in the ways that you can 
but you do not know my true happiness 
so if you love me, don't pretend

x

.wendil is Mika Manikan 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 1 and 2), mixing, and mastering by Kurvine Chua 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 3, 4, 6), vocals, lyrics, and album art by Mika Manikan 

Additional vocals by Miguel Manikan 

All music produced, mangled, and cared for by Kurvine Chua and Mika Manikan

--- 

Special thanks go to my mother (who kept us sane all throughout), my father † (the instigator), my brothers (the voices of reason), Kurvine, Monique, Nooters, Marco and Anne, and their beautiful cats, Ate Moppet, and the rest of my large, wonderfully insane family (who believed in me), the Spindle Fam (who pushed me), all the bands and artists who came to support the launch, the people who stayed (you know who you are), Funassyi and Panda, the spirits of nature, and the universal force that moves us all. Peace! 

GSS038 - Genjitsu Stargazing Society

Leave

"Change your world." 

x

Your trend killed individuality 
Your kind killed sincerity 

What if I told you? What if I? What if I? 

You’re part of a cookie cutter generation: 
Masks up, full of pretension 
You canonize your introversion 
and vainglorious depreciation? 
You fetishize what is authentic! 
“Depression saves what isn’t worth it.” 
Consumerizing your A E S T H E T I C 
Othering is your P A N D E M I C 

Rigor mortis heartbeats all in time with your tune-- 
God, please tell me it’ll all end soon, 
because I’d rather sleep than listen to bullshit like this 

Your trend killed individuality 
Your kind killed sincerity 

Your kind killed me

x

.wendil is Mika Manikan 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 1 and 2), mixing, and mastering by Kurvine Chua 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 3, 4, 6), vocals, lyrics, and album art by Mika Manikan 

Additional vocals by Miguel Manikan 

All music produced, mangled, and cared for by Kurvine Chua and Mika Manikan

--- 

Special thanks go to my mother (who kept us sane all throughout), my father † (the instigator), my brothers (the voices of reason), Kurvine, Monique, Nooters, Marco and Anne, and their beautiful cats, Ate Moppet, and the rest of my large, wonderfully insane family (who believed in me), the Spindle Fam (who pushed me), all the bands and artists who came to support the launch, the people who stayed (you know who you are), Funassyi and Panda, the spirits of nature, and the universal force that moves us all. Peace! 

GSS038 - Genjitsu Stargazing Society

Sincerity

[...] 

x

It's been a long thought process cycling through my head 
It's been a long time coming, and I think that it needs to be said 

And what I can't understand is: 
If we both just learned to play the game along the way? 
Did we learn to keep to ourselves and keep our mouths shut 
'cuz we thought we couldn't win? 

- 
Can we go back? 
Should we go back? 
Where do I begin? 

Can we go back? 
Should we go back 
to where we could've been? 

And you know pride and emotions are really just not our thing. 
Thought I had to learn to be honest, but in the end I realize: 

You just don't want me in. 
- 

It's been a few short hours since you got into bed 
If you look out the window you, and I will both watch the sun set 

And I know if we keep going down this road, we'll drive right off the end: 
Where we learn to keep to ourselves 
and keep our mouths shut as we learn to be content. 

- 
Can we go back? 
Should we go back? 
Where do I begin? 

Can we go back? 
Should we go back 
to where we could've been? 

And you know pride and emotions are really just not our thing. 
Thought you had to learn to be honest, but in the end I realize: 

It's hard to let you in. 
- 

[ Are we gonna get through this, or no? ] 

- 
Can we go back? 
Should we go back? 
Where do I begin? 

Can we go back? 
Should we go back 
to where we could've been? 

And you know pride and emotions are really just not our thing. 
But we've gotta learn to be honest, and in the end I realize: 

We've got to let us win.

x 

.wendil is Mika Manikan 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 1 and 2), mixing, and mastering by Kurvine Chua 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 3, 4, 6), vocals, lyrics, and album art by Mika Manikan 

Additional vocals by Miguel Manikan 

All music produced, mangled, and cared for by Kurvine Chua and Mika Manikan

--- 

Special thanks go to my mother (who kept us sane all throughout), my father † (the instigator), my brothers (the voices of reason), Kurvine, Monique, Nooters, Marco and Anne, and their beautiful cats, Ate Moppet, and the rest of my large, wonderfully insane family (who believed in me), the Spindle Fam (who pushed me), all the bands and artists who came to support the launch, the people who stayed (you know who you are), Funassyi and Panda, the spirits of nature, and the universal force that moves us all. Peace! 

GSS038 - Genjitsu Stargazing Society

NIghttime Fire

Circles

"Sieg heil to the Alma Mater!" 

x

You and I, tiptoeing 
fragile lines 
At the edges of their blurring vision 

And once or twice, 
falling to too many times, 
been the victims of their aging derision 

Stare at the floor? Or Dorothy's face: 
jumping through stages to grab that award 

Step out the door? Onto a new page: 
following nothing but the beat of my heart !! 

We're on a roll, yeah! 
Killing Honor Roll, yeah! 
And you and I will keep on laughing 
at the fakers and their habits 
and the root of their force-fed fear! 

(( 'cuz you and I both know that we don't need the gold™ )) 

Took some time until 
we got it right, 
On the way to our greatest creation 

And telltale sighs, 
the pity in their eyes, 
Will not do anything to change my decision! 

Living the best of us throughout the years 
Living the life we chose through all our tears 
Loving the worst of us despite our fears 
Loving the life we chose we'll always be 

'cuz you and I both know that we don't need the gold™ 
if it means wishing you could be here ☆

x 

.wendil is Mika Manikan 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 1 and 2), mixing, and mastering by Kurvine Chua 

Guitar arrangement (tracks 3, 4, 6), vocals, lyrics, and album art by Mika Manikan 

Additional vocals by Miguel Manikan 

All music produced, mangled, and cared for by Kurvine Chua and Mika Manikan

Honor Roller

chamomile
IX of 'old haunts'

I think of you often.

-
"don't make promises to ghosts
they will never let you go."
-

CAST
B. G. ~ the prince
J. S. ~ the aged
.w ~ the epistle

Mastering by ~
K. C. the moon princess

chamomile

【she/they/fae】.wendil is Mika and friends, lovers, and leaves.

.wendil

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