This was an unreleased demo where i tried to explore other genres and dive into the new styles of metal music. The lyrics of the song are about an abusive relationship, where the girlfriend was the abuser.

“Broken Strings” [c minor]

(Intro)
WHY?

(Verse 1) 
In the dim-lit room, he stands alone, 
A man with shattered dreams, a heart of stone. 
Her words like daggers, her touch a vice, 
His spirit fading, paying the price.

(Pre-Chorus) 
She twists his love into knots, 
Ties him down with cruel thoughts. 

(Chorus)
Broken strings, a broken soul, 
He dances to her twisted control. 
Her love, a poison, seeping through, 
He’s drowning in a toxic hue.

(She twists his love into knots, 
Ties him down with cruel thoughts.)

(Verse 2)
She whispers venom in his ear, 
His worth diminished, his hope unclear. 
Her laughter echoes, mocking his pain, 
He clings to fragments, desperate to regain.

(Chorus)
Broken strings, a broken soul, 
He dances to her twisted control. 
Her love, a poison, seeping through, 
He’s drowning in a toxic hue.

(Verse 1) 
In the dim-lit room, he stands alone, 
A man with shattered dreams, a heart of stone. 
Her words like daggers, her touch a vice, 
His spirit fading, paying the price.

(Pre-Chorus) 
She twists his love into knots, 
Ties him down with cruel thoughts. 

(Chorus) x2
Broken strings, a broken soul, 
He dances to her twisted control. 
Her love's a poison, seeping through, 
He’s drowning in a toxic hue.

(Outro)
In the quiet of night, he weeps, 
His heart a battlefield where darkness creeps. 
His heart is empty, there is no hope
For the only way out was that rope.
____________________________________________________
© 2024 Written, composed and produced by John Agostinho (why...).

Broken Strings (Demo)

"Chains of Fear" explores the complexities of an abusive relationship, flipping the narrative to highlight a lesser-discussed dynamic where the girlfriend is the abuser. The song delves into the emotional and psychological toll of such a relationship, portraying the struggle to break free from the metaphorical chains of fear and control. It's a poignant reminder of how abuse can take many forms and affect anyone, including men.

Lyrics:
He dreams of escape, wings unfurled, 
But chains of fear bind this wounded world. 
Her fists leave imprints on his skin, 
Yet love’s blind loyalty keeps him in.
______________________________________________________
© 2024 Written, composed and produced by John Agostinho (why...).
Distributed by Routenote.

Chains of Fear

Chains Of  Fear

鬱: Disconnect (the kanji utsu, meaning depression in japanese) delves into themes of emotional detachment and the desire to escape from a painful reality. With haunting lyrics it captures the essence of despair and longing for peace.

Lyrics:

All I want is
to close my eyes
and disconnect
from this world
that hurts me
with its reality.

Close my eyes
and never wake up.

All i want is
Disconnect
Close my eyes
And never wake up.
_________________________

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7K9Q6jNYcekiVr2Po1pDW5
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/gb/album/鬱-disconnect-ep/1792449263
Deezer: https://www.deezer.com/pt/album/702579521
Tidal: https://tidal.com/browse/track/414069905
Youtube: https://youtu.be/7cY0ZUH2RXA?si=kUr172g3RZHPVLw6
_________________________________________________________________________
Written, composed and produced by John Agostinho (why...).
Distributed by Routenote.

21/02/2025

鬱: Disconnect

Remastered version of my song "Escuridão". Translating to "Darkness," this song reflects on themes of isolation and the absence of light, both literally and metaphorically. It paints a vivid picture of despair because of depression.

Lyrics:
Na penumbra da alma, onde os ecos do silêncio se entrelaçam, reside o medo de ficar só.
É como se o próprio vazio se materializasse, envolvendo-nos em um abraço gélido.
A escuridão, outrora amiga, agora torna-se uma prisão, e a solidão, uma sentinela implacável.

As paredes do quarto parecem aproximar-se, comprimindo o peito, enquanto o relógio sussurra seus segundos repetidos.
O desespero dança na nossa mente, uma coreografia de pensamentos sombrios.
A escuridão pode ser o silêncio que envolve a alma, o vazio que se estende quando as luzes se apagam.
Na escuridão, encontramos os nossos medos e enfrentamo-nos a nós mesmos.

No silêncio da noite, eu afundo-me,
Nas sombras, o meu coração se esconde.
O desespero envolve-me como um manto,
E a solidão sufoca-me, sem encanto.
_____________________________________________________
© 2024-2025 Written, composed, produced and remastered by John Agostinho (why...).

Escuridão [Remastered]

this originated from a loop i had in my mind. i didn't really know what to do with it, so here it is.

untitled unreleased demo

This is my first EP "voidism." and it explores profound themes of existential struggle, mental health, abuse and the cyclical journey of coming from and returning to the void. This work blends depressive black metal and experimental sounds to create an intense emotional experience. Tracks like "From the Void We Came, to the Void We Will Return" and "Losing My Mind" delve into feelings of despair, solitude, and the search for meaning amidst darkness.

Chains Of Fear

in circo vitae

Losing my mind

From the Void we came, to the Void we will return

Solitude

This track is about fighting depression, anxiety and darker thoughts, with a positive thought that one day we will rise again.

Lyrics:
The sky collapsed in silence
No gods, no light, no flame
I walked through broken seasons
Each breath a whispered name

The frost became my mirror
Reflecting wounds I hide
A thousand nights of sorrow
Still I remain alive
 
But somewhere in the ruin
A flicker fights the void
A voice beneath the thunder
Says pain can be destroyed

But somewhere in the ruin
A flicker fights the void
A voice beneath the thunder
Says pain can be destroyed

The trees have learned to suffer
Their limbs like mine, betrayed
I carved my grief in stone
And watched it slowly fade

The stars refused to answer
The moon turned from my plea
Yet in the blackest moment
I found the will to see

No savior in the shadows
No promise carved in gold
Just the echo of endurance
In a heart that's growing cold
 
Yet still I crawl through ashes
Still I breathe the storm
And though the world is dying
I will be reborn

So let the silence hold me
Let the night remain
For even in this darkness
I know I’ll rise again
I know I’ll rise again
I know I’ll rise again


I'll Rise Again

© 2025 Written, composed and produced by John Agostinho (why...).

Bandcamp: Pre-release available
Spotify: Coming November 14th
Apple Music: Coming November 14th
Deezer: Coming November 14th

melancholia

A reimagined version of my first single "Chains Of Fear".

Chains Of Fear (Piano Reimagined)

Instrumental of my song "I'll Rise Again".

I'll Rise Again (Instrumental)

This is my cover of the song "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" originally by Eurythmics, and inspired by Marilyn Manson's version.

Credits:
Original song written by Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox
Originally performed by Eurythmics
Cover performed by why...
Arrangement by why...
This cover was inspired by Marilyn Manson’s version of the song

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) [DSBM Cover]

Fragments of a Forgotten Self is a song about my 18 year old self asking my current self where all the mental struggles began.


Lyrics:
From the 18-year-old me to the 30-year-old me
Where did I go wrong?
When did the sparkle in your eyes disappear?
You won't smile anymore.

The word "future", 
Which I couldn't imagine in my textbooks,
Now, like scraps of paper,
It's torn beneath my feet.

I miss the time when I believed that loving someone would save me.
But the face I see in the mirror
I don't recognize it anymore.

Hey, since when have you been looking up at the sky with such a heavy heart?
What have you been protecting, without even allowing yourself to cry?

Please, answer me.
Where did I go wrong?

Even if it's a lie,
Just tell me "It's okay",
With your voice,
Like old times
(like old times).

Why are you so tied down by someone else's expectations?
What have you gained when you've even lost sight of yourself?
Tell me what's left in your hands after you've thrown away your dreams.

Please, just one more time, let me smile!
Let me smile!
Let me smile!

Fragments of a Forgotten Self

Born from solitude, why... is the vision of Portuguese producer John, created in 2024. A one man project inspired by depressive black metal, it gives voice to the silence of despair and the weight of unspoken thoughts. The songs are reflections of depression, isolation, betrayal, loneliness and the endless struggle within. They are not simply music but confessions that echo in the dark, carrying the sound of wounds that never heal.

why...

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