produced by @recyclexbin
feat. @diacetyl

(marku)
oh, oh, oh, oh
yeah, cross this blunt i'm smoking in fives
know that she love me just look at her eyes
i just came to fuck tonight
then i'm going for a drive
i got rik this ain't no tec
i don't wanna fuck i just want neck
talk too much i'm onto the next
cause one time i got left on read

if i don't make it then imma be upset
'cause half these rappers barely try it's fucking wack
i hear them on tiktok it's all recycled fucking trash
like do you really hear your songs are you fucking deaf
i'm too deep like the sea i can't look back
i take one step forward they take two back
but they take up too much space i can't fit in
rapping that you'll kill me but you're soft just like some linen
like am i just being sour
i can't bump their shit 'cause face to face they're fucking cowards
i'm tryna bloom just like a flower
i mean i put in all the hours
i'm the next big bang you a nerd like you howard 

yeah, hit the gas i won't get too far
been told that it's dangerous on this road 
i don't mind yeah,
dropping popping candy in my tussin 
no discussion
when i'm high i'm chasing hunnids 
ain't got time i do your doesn't's
yeah, bitch i'm fucking tired of fuckboys tryna run with me
you ain't seen what i see
you don't want this just retreat
and i think it's about time i start charging for feats
i need some respect on me
our bond turning rest in peace

(diacetyl)
oh lately i been feeling fatigued
i'm so pathetic and i'm looking for a reason
like what's the point when you're down on all seasons
choking on your words and struggling to breathe in
i'm apathetic and i've lost all feelings
i'm in turmoil and it holds no meaning
walking out the door i feel defeated oh, oh, oh
aren't you tired of calling me conceited 
i swear it's been months since we needed time
now we're all alone and i can't see the road and
i tried too hard to get back and now i'm stuck at square one
and it won't get back to where we was
and i'm so tired, oh
i need someone to put out all the lights and
take it all, goodbye

tone deaf

drifting w/ bradily (2020)

(prod. lil nightshift)

oh shit look at what i did
fucked it up for everybody
just the usual shit
act like i'ma learn but i treat it like a bit
they say life's a bitch but i treat it like a flick
when i can but i feel like i got no control
the writer's got a grudge and he's scripted me to fall
i've got frown wrinkles on my face and i'm twenty
thinking back to positive times i'm acting frantic

i got cool with rock bottom
so i don't even care to climb
i didn't even wanna die, honest
i let it all decline
didn't take my meds, wasn't trusting 'em
in my head i was fucking tripping
i was fucking tripping out
i got cool with rock bottom
so i don't even care to climb
i didn't even wanna die, honest
i let it all decline
paranoia was as common as breaths
i got so used to feeling crazy i found comfort in mess

pessimistic, always anxious
stressing to a point for so long
feels like i'm dreaming
i had a fear of outside when i was fifteen
it took six months to get me back up on my feet
seeing trails in the mirror completely sober
and when it stopped happening i was surprised that it was over
and honestly i was prepared to be the freak stuck in psychosis

oh shit look at what i did
fucked it up for everybody
just the usual shit
act like i'ma learn but i treat it like a bit
they say life's a bitch but i treat it like a flick
when i can but i feel like i got no control
the writer's got a grudge and he's scripted me to fall
i've got frown wrinkles on my face and i'm twenty
thinking back to positive times i'm acting frantic

but i feel like i got no control
the writer's got a grudge and he's scripted me to fall
i've got frown wrinkles on my face and i'm twenty
thinking back to positive times i'm acting frantic

i got cool with rock bottom
so i don't even care to climb
i didn't even wanna die, honest
i let it all decline
didn't take my meds, wasn't trusting 'em
in my head i was fucking tripping
i was fucking tripping out
i got cool with rock bottom
so i don't even care to climb
i didn't even wanna die, honest
i let it all decline
paranoia was as common as breaths
i got so used to feeling crazy i found comfort in mess

no control

prod. irby
feat. @diacetyl @bradily @1mosh @heyQWNN

(diacetyl)
wait for a moment
just wait for a moment
'cause you said, so much for trying
those were your words not mine

(marku)
oh you're chemicals, just fucking chemicals
so why the fuck do i care so much
the hell i'm supposed to do
when i just think of you
just tell me why you mean so much
so much, so much, so much to me
so much, so much, so much to me

(mosh)
i feel poisoned by the pain you're causing me
you break me down i can't fucking breathe
i can't handle you making me breakdown
i hate all your friends so i can't come around
we just fell off i don't understand you
you cheated on me yeah you play me like a fool
always make me feel like i'm insane
i don't wanna check my phone
'cause that shit go through my brain

(bradily)
just checked my phone ain't a text in like three days
stress and drugs fucking me in a three way
what's hurting me are prerogatives
'cause you left me taking chemicals to feel a lil' more positive 
it's 2am and i ain't been to sleep in a day
and i blame on the chemicals for fucking up my brain
'cause life ain't been the same
we've been fighting way too much the chemicals to blame

(qwnn)
the toxins you have put inside my brain
samehow make me proud of you and hide the shame
i know it's my fault but i wish you were to blame
the saddest part of it all i'd do it all over again
'cause i'm addicted to the rush baby
i know i've been too much lately
just need you on my tongue maybe
to go clean and convince myself i'm not crazy

(marku)
oh you're chemicals, just fucking chemicals
so why the fuck do i care so much
the hell i'm supposed to do
when i just think of you
just tell me why you mean so much
so much, so much, so much to me
so much, so much, so much to me

(diacetyl)
and the chemicals bleed me
i don't know why we never had a chance to try
you never had an antidote, stop it with the antidotes
i never knew i needed realigning
you never told me that the lights we blinding
and with these chemicals the agents binding
i wanna run away i miss the silence
'cause when i'm with you feel the poison climbing

chemicals

(prod. irby)

people change too fast for my pace
i can't even tell if i remain the same
though they tell me i should be ashamed
how i sit here all fucking day

but what would you do if you had my setbacks
you can't even name them
you don't know who i am
so why throw me shade
god i can't bare to listen
no matter what i say
they just find a reason

to hate me
degrade me
make my accomplishments seem so small
gotta face it
can't erase 'em
but it's hard without any support

oh i wanna leave so bad
just to get them off my back
weight of the world i need shoulder pads
no wonder i'm why so close to cracking
so close to cracking
so close to cracking
so close to cracking
so close to cracking

but what would you do if you had my setbacks
you can't even name them
you don't know who i am
so why throw me shade
god i can't bare to listen
no matter what i say
they just find a reason

but what would you do if you had my setbacks
you can't even name them
you don't know who i am
so why throw me shade
god i can't bare to listen
no matter what i say
they just find a reason

shade

SPOTIFY

it is my birthday today :)
prod. sorrowbringer

oh your silence speaks louder than words i think you know that too
and i'm just part of the process is what i assume 
it's a little evil that you knew that i'd still cruise 
along whole ride, even the bumpy ones too

oh your silence speaks louder than words i think you know that too
and i'm just part of the process is what i assume 
it's a little evil that you knew that i'd still cruise 
along whole ride, even the bumpy ones too  

I can't tell why i do this to myself
besides the little fucking peace that you brought with yourself 
like why choose hell for a little taste of bliss 
regardless you're the one i miss
when i'm driving around 

oh u feel trusting
i find it warming
lemme cross the bases no looking
yes shawty i'm lying bitch i'm lusting
you could put up flags
i deafen warnings 
but the source says do what's important
but what's important
isn't important to me 
so i act like i can't see
yes my downfall is willing

oh your silence speaks louder than words i think you know that too
and i'm just part of the process is what i assume 
it's a little evil that you knew that i'd still cruise 
along whole ride, even the bumpy ones too 

oh your silence speaks louder than words i think you know that too
and i'm just part of the process is what i assume 
it's a little evil that you knew that i'd still cruise 
along whole ride, even the bumpy ones too 

oh your silence speaks louder than words i think you know that too
and i'm just part of the process is what i assume 
it's a little evil that you knew that i'd still cruise 
along whole ride, even the bumpy ones too

louder than words

feat + guitar by @diacetyl
m&m + produced by @markuwho

(marku)
when i'm gone i get lost
the disappointment on your face 
is always what it costs
i think i need a cause
a reason to be here
you got a quick fix & i'm drawn
it's always been this way since i was young
shawty hate me it's for the benefit 
we were never fit
old friends hit my line
but it feels so menacing yeah
i can't reminisce oh
i don't want a vessel 
i don't want an S.O.S
if i bleed out then it's my fault

i'm painted as a villain even if i die heroic
i spent most my life forced to try and be so stoic
but the bottle's filled, i just wanna feel
but my body's learnt to hide it all
adapted to conceal
my emotions
i feel out of place some times 'cause it hits me when i'm out of focus 
i'm always so loaded

all the time
the only one that gets me is me so i just talk in my mind
and i act like it's cool and it's sweet
when i'm walking read between lines
i'm sorry i'm cold and i'm stone and i give the wrong tone i know 
it's so easy for me to just leave and hope it sorts out on it's own

(diacetyl)
read between the lines
i know i can’t 
try to find a way out of my head
the seams are stuck 
for weeks on end 
i told myself ‘this isn’t living’
no, this just can’t be my life 
the reaper’s stuck 
right on my shoulder
hell contrived

so, somebody talk to me 
somebody talk 
give me reason to leave
‘cause i know 
a broken mind’s 
better on it’s own 
a broken mind’s 
better on it’s own 
i sold my soul for better days 
reap what i sow in a bitter way
brittle bones
and a broken wrist
i’m weaker now
than i’ve ever been

and i don't really talk about the shit that i'm uncomfortable with
i'll be such a cunt, such a prick
i tell them that i'm sad but i'm not selling it
i'll blow another back and say i'm celibate 
i'm out here geeking on my own
no wonder these motherfuckers don't pick up the phone
like i see you in my contacts but you never hit back
while you never hit me back

read between the lines

guitar by jolst
produced by recyclebin

it really depends what kind of mood i'm in
whether not i respond or let the walls cave in
oh i can't decide what i should do with it
speaking up is such a bitch so i get what i give

it really depends what kind of mood i'm in
whether not i respond or let the walls cave in
oh i can't decide what i should do with it
speaking up is such a bitch so i get what i give

am i meant to smile every time
regardless of how i feel at the time
and am i meant to conform and hide my spine
oh my i'm something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
something else

am i to blame of things that haunt me
am i at fault when people taunt me
god, i minute to process 
all of the thoughts crowding 'round in my cortex
all of the thoughts crowding 'round in my cortex
all of the thoughts crowding 'round in my cortex

am i meant to smile every time
regardless of how i feel at the time
and am i meant to conform and hide my spine
oh my i'm something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
i'm something else
something else

something, something else
something, something else

over with

feat. @bradily
prod. everestdidthis

sometimes i zone out forget i exist
cherish the moments with flies on my lips
then reality hits i'm back in the present i'm back in this shit
i don't to like to think, don't like to realise
that there's so many problems surrounding my life
i'm not the same kid, oh he's so full of life
people go ghost 'cause my texting is dry

when i die will i be on your mind
or forgotten forever and rot away with the time
oh i wonder why you steal the tears when i cry
though i try anyways and i still fail every time

when i die will i be on your mind
or forgotten forever and rot away with the time
oh i wonder why you steal the tears when i cry
though i try anyways and i still fail every time

set me free
let me leave
working for you like over time
it's like ain't satisfied unless my eyes aren't dry
working hard's a waste of time
what's yours is yours and mine's never mine
and honestly i never mind
like dusty rhodes said it's always hard times
i'd break my spine to give you a back
see me crawl and you'd laugh
and you'd laugh
and you'd laugh
and you'd laugh
and you'd laugh

when i die will i be on your mind
or forgotten forever and rot away with the time
oh i wonder why you steal the tears when i cry
though i try anyways and i still fail every time

when i die will i be on your mind
or forgotten forever and rot away with the time
oh i wonder why you steal the tears when i cry
though i try anyways and i still fail every time

a dog chasing its tail

and i never wondered 
how long this purgatory gonna last?
all my hope is buried in the past 
and i can't walk no more 
succumb to bed 
won't preach to anyone
'i'm better dead' 

and i'll be silent 
won't be wishing for no sick pay 
i'm seldom crying but i'm still gon' 
wish for better days 
with doctors prying 
imma still say it's up in my brain 

and i'm still hurting 
no medicine could cure that 
the birds still chirping 
i miss when i could sleep through that
i don't see anything in colour now 
see anything in colour now 

i don't, i don't 
see anything in colour now 
see anything in colour now
and i'll be silent 
won't be wishing for no sick pay 
won't be wishing for no sick pay

produced by me
m/m marku

sick pay

produced by TyBeats
Mixed and mastered by Markuwho

drifting w/ bradily (2020)

marku 2

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bradley <3

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