2 Timothy 2:3 "Suffer evil with me as a good soldier of Jesus Christ."
2 Timothy 2:4 "No one serving as a soldier entangles himself with the affair of this life, that he may please the one who enlisted him."

Suffer Evil With Me (2 Timothy 2:3-4)

I recorded an instrumental version of the same hymn two years ago when a sister taught it to me. Now, I had the feeling to record it again, after all the experiences the Lord has given this year.

I really enjoyed the third stanza of this hymn:
"Just rest, He knows;
With Him blindness is pleasant!
Just rest, He knows;
Sightless, you see Him best!
Just rest, He knows;
My soul, don’t waste the present
On those “what-if’s“.
Just turn to Him and rest!"

After almost two years of the pandemic, I felt hopeful entering into 2022, thinking that perhaps it held better hopes for more freedom and a sense of normality that we knew before everything came "crashing down".

However, in January, COVID hit our household to such an extent that I didn't see coming. I even came to a point of thinking that maybe I'll lose a family member to this virus--spending days at the hospital with a seeming plethora of medication just to get better. It was such a grueling time, a battle in my mind, a severe weakening of my faith, and I thought it was the end for me; I was in fight mode, endeavoring for survival against all the aspects of depression. I forgot my spirit. I didn't think it would help. "I just needed to get things done," I said to myself.

Everyone recovered eventually, thank the Lord. But my mind remained traumatized. The scenes kept coming back, and I dreaded every time night came because the eerie silence reminded me of the calm before the storm. For months on end, I would lay in bed 'til the wee hours of the morning--unable to sleep--paralyzed with the fear of extreme possibilities. My mind was filled with SOOOO MANY "what if's": What if it happens again? What if I can't cope? What if there won't be enough supply to meet the need?

These thoughts occupied my mind endlessly. I felt like my spirit was so powerless against my raging mind, which triggered my emotions, and caused my body to suffer the consequences as well. The sightlessness drove me to my wit's end. I think, deep in my heart, I was angry at the Lord for giving me such a heavy burden again. I was complaining, "Why does this keep happening to me?!" I had no rest in my tripartite being. But one message struck me concerning "God's Economy in Faith" during a working ones' conference.

It posed a question: "Do you believe that He (God) is repeating all the things He did in the past? No. He is not repeating anything. He is always moving forward." But what about you? Are you stuck in the past? Are you a person of yesterday?

I was indeed severely hindered by the past. I couldn't move on. The events of the past fueled an increasing amount of unbelief. What a shameful situation I was in. Every day, I felt like I was drowning, like Peter started sinking when he looked at the waves. I couldn't help it. The waves were so huge, ones I've never encountered in such magnitude.

Rest comes when we look at the Lord, and it seems I still haven't been perfected in this aspect especially when it concerns family--family is such a blind side for me. Everything else just fades, even my spirit, when it boils down to this.

In the end, I'm thankful to the Lord for exposing me of my shortage in this matter. I thought I was okay...I wasn't. But I acknowledge that I am still in the process, and I thank the Lord and all the saints for really carrying us in prayer. It was way beyond my capacity; I despaired of living. 

One last thing. The brother mentioned such an encouraging word.
"What should we do if we recognize unbelief?
We say, "I BELIEVE!"
"LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF!"

This brings us to the chorus of the hymn:
"Thank and praise You, Jesus!
Through all unknowns,
You make Yourself so dear!"

I still love You, Lord. You are dearer than before!

(Link to full lyrics: https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/34)

Fear Not, He Knows (NS34)

Footnote on Love (Exodus 20:6)
The entire Bible is 
a divine romance, 
a record of how God 
courts His chosen people 
and eventually 
marries them.
When we as God’s people 
enter into a love 
relationship with God, 
we receive His life, just as Eve received the life 
of Adam.
Lord Jesus, I love You! (Ooh)
Lord Jesus, I love You!
It is this life that enables us to become one with God 
and makes Him one with us. 
We keep the law not by exercising our mind 
and will
But by loving the Lord as our Husband and thereby 
partaking of His life 
and nature to become one with Him as His enlargement 
and expression.
Lord Jesus, I love You! (Ooh)
Lord Jesus, I love You!
When we as God’s people 
enter into a love 
relationship with God, 
we receive His life, just as Eve received the life 
of Adam.
Lord Jesus, I love You! (Ooh)
Lord Jesus, I love You!
By loving the Lord as our Husband and thereby 
partaking of His life 
and nature to become one with Him as His enlargement 
and expression.
Lord Jesus, I love You! (Ooh)
Lord Jesus, I love You!

Footnote On Love (Exodus 20:6)

Heb. 12:2 - Looking away unto Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who FOR THE JOY SET BEFORE HIM, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down on the right hand of the throne of God.

https://songbase.life/491

Don't you want to know your God?

Wherever You Go, I Will Go

Jesus Lord, I Just Love You

God Is Pleased

M.S., E.C. 
Rough Draft (2015)

Part of Zechariah 12:1 that can be paired with Genesis 2:7. 

4 chord pattern:
E - B - C#min - A

or in D capo 2:
D - A - Bmin - G

Collabs'15

Zechariah 12:1/Genesis 2:7

Lord, we thank You for Your divine life in us!

Here are the words:
1	 	Thou art all my life, Lord,
 	 	 	In me Thou dost live;
 	 	With Thee all God’s fulness
 	 	 	Thou to me dost give.
 	 	By Thy holy nature
 	 	 	I am sanctified,
 	 	By Thy resurrection,
 	 	 	Vict’ry is supplied.

2	 	Now Thy flowing life, Lord,
 	 	 	Doth enlighten me,
 	 	Bringing in the spirit
 	 	 	Fellowship with Thee;
 	 	All my need supplying,
 	 	 	Making Thy demand,
 	 	Leading me to cleansing
 	 	 	And in Thee to stand.

3	 	Thy anointing Spirit
 	 	 	Me shall permeate,
 	 	All my soul and spirit
 	 	 	Thou wouldst saturate;
 	 	Every part transforming
 	 	 	Till conformed to Thee,
 	 	Till Thy life shall bring me
 	 	 	To maturity.

4	 	Lord, Thy life abundant,
 	 	 	Flowing, rich and free,
 	 	Constantly refreshes
 	 	 	And empowers me.
 	 	Death by life is swallowed,
 	 	 	Weakness is made strong,
 	 	All my bonds are broken,
 	 	 	Gloom is turned to song.

5	 	I would give myself, Lord,
 	 	 	Fully unto Thee,
 	 	That Thy heart’s desire
 	 	 	Be fulfilled in me.
 	 	I no more would struggle
 	 	 	To myself reform,
 	 	Thus in me to hinder
 	 	 	What Thou wouldst perform.

6	 	I would cease completely
 	 	 	From my efforts vain,
 	 	Let Thy life transform me,
 	 	 	Full release to gain;
 	 	Build me up with others
 	 	 	Till in us Thou see
 	 	Thy complete expression
 	 	 	Glorifying Thee.

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/841

H#841 Thou art all my life Lord

A Lover Of Christ

God Hath Not Promised Skies Always Blue (Hymn 720)

Simple voice memos 🎶

2025:
- reunion w/ titus (pt.4) ✅
- songs dave wrote (w/ peter) ✅
- old recordings w trndywndy ✅
- YP songs w/ Tony
- singapore/taiwan trip
- hs conference songs (the good land)
- children songs (pt.3)

Suffer Evil With Me (2 Timothy 2:3-4)

William Jeng

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