As we grow up we get hurt. We open our hearts and they end up broken in ways that change us. But this is important, because it is how we learn and grow. If we let it grow us, we can become better, and have access to an even sweeter joy than we initially imagined.

There is a saying that "It is always darkest before the dawn." I believe this is true. Life, much like nature, is cyclical. But sometimes, especially when we have been really hurt, it can be hard to move past the darkness and recognize or trust the dawn when it comes. We become jaded or afraid, and we miss out on what's right in front of us. That's okay. There will always be another dawn. If you miss the boat, just catch the next one.

This song came from the dark night of my heart that is now leaving me. It is recognition of the light breaking through, and a plea for the one I care for to wake up to the same dawn. It's probably the most meaningful song I've ever written.

It's called "Not a Love Song" because I have been in love a few times throughout my life and this feels nothing like that. This is purer, gentler, and somehow stronger. Love has always felt like fire, while this feels more like sunlight on my heart. Sunlight feeds the flowers. :) 

If I had to choose, I would pick this over love, any day.

Some things feel so magical that it's hard not to believe in wishes being granted and fairy tale endings. Even when you know you're a fool, it's incredible how persistent even the slightest shred of hope can be. It is one of most powerful creative forces in this universe. Even if the only place for it is in song writing... :)

Lyrics:

This is not a love song
This is just the truth
Everything would be so wrong
If I don't end up with you


I don't know if I love you
Because I've never felt this way
But if this is not what love is
Then what is love anyways?

The dawn in me is breaking
And it sheds new light
And I can feel me waking
From an endless night


And I'd rather be delusional
Than believe that you won't
Wake up to the same dawn
And realize that I'm the one

I'd like to be a sunrise
In the break of your day
I'd like to be the dandelion
That carries your wishes away


I want to be the face you see
As you drift off to sleep
And I want to be the woman
You've been dying to meet

Not a Love Song

This is a song that came to me in a dream.

We were sitting in my secret place.


Lyrics:

I must let this go
I must learn to surrender
But this persistent hope
Burns like an ember
Inside my soul

I know the sting of regret
How I long to forget you
Oh it won't relent
This song inside of me

I'd rewrite the stars
If they won't align for me
Tear apart the skies
For you to adore me

A love once sweet
Aches like a poison inside me
When will I be free
From this bitter reality

I want to swallow your sorrows
And inhale the skin
Between your cashmere thighs
Why won't you let me in?
I promise I won't leave you
You won't face the night
Alone
Again 

Willow Victoria