I was right there  
While you fought tooth and nail
Gasping in the gas mask thrashing till you disappeared
Say you’re not scared, that you know it’s cause I cared and
Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there

And I know, I know that I’m wrong
That when you’re gone you’re gone 
And I can’t bring you home
But I want, I want to believe
That you’ll remember me when you’re just memory

Roots in the ground
Or uploaded to the cloud or
Warm inside our hearts or as electrons in our head – nowhere now
Over the rainbow, can I stop by and say hello and
Sorry I would take it back if I could but I know

To love one from too far to call
Is not to love at all, to whom is it I talk?
But I want, I want to believe 
That you can still hear me when you’re just memory

Said “it’s okay”
And “It’ll be all be over soon"
I’d never let a bad thing happen to you
Now goodnight I love you

And every, everybody dies 
Fighting for their lives, just trying to survive
Well now I know, I know why we say
That there’s a better place that waits beyond the grave, oh

And I know, I know it’s not true. 
There’s just no more you but as long as there’s no proof
Then I choose, I choose to believe 
That we’ll met in sweet dreams after you’re put to sleep

Euthanasia - Hawthorne Theater, Portland, OR

Don’t take the following words as reverence for tradition
I’ve learned to pick my battles by losing most I’ve fought.
The more mores subverted, the more I sense I’m missing
And I’ll always do it my way, even if that’s just the same way I was taught.

I’ll bring home the bread and you’ll stay home and bake it
Weeding out the garden where the milestones gather moss
Crack a smile at my vows, and whisper “wow, can you believe we really made it?”
As I give up on dodging rice, and fold my cape, I say “obviously not.”

But I want to be just like my parents before I was born
Oh can we be just like my parents?

I know you don’t want kids but think about a daughter
We could name her Gwendolyn, like mom would have called me.
I’m not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father
Yeah, I mean sure, they messed me up. But I think that’s just the gig.

And maybe it’s just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties
But I have laid a lot of women, and now I’d like to just lay down
And marriage always scared me, but I’d like to have a last love
And love can last a pretty good long while. I’ve seen it around.

Oh, can we be just like my parents when I was young?
Why can’t we be just like my parents?

Tongue out of my cheek now, I’m done pulling faces
Iconoclasm wanes. My cynicism tires
But what do I know bout forever when so far, I’ve been so fleeting?
Babe, my frontal lobe’s done growing; this might just be how I’m wired
But now we’re kissing before brushing, smile with our whole faces
If you want a hyphen last name I guess I don’t mind the cadence
I’ve seen home videos. I was there back in the 80’s
And if I’m just them and they back then could do it, why can’t I?

Just like my parents in due time
Imagine me, just like my parents? Yeah, right.

‘Cause I’ve made more mistakes, than simple empty moments
Each one as out of character as you know I tend to be
There’ll be scalpers at the cemetery gates, with all my would-be widows weeping
I’d have forgotten all their names, so why should you remember me?

But if we grow old together and you talk to my headstone,
That is, assuming that I die first, (which is fair) and assuming I don’t leave
Close enough to forever, I guess, to prove what I hoped.
I mean otherwise how am I to believe?

Becoming the Lastnames - City Winery, Nashville, TN

So here we go, I'm turning over the same old leaf again
The seraphim on my shoulder whispering "please don't turn your head,
'Cause if it weren't for the everything then anything could happen."
If anybody needs me, I'll be in my coffin.

Girl, I guess you're just my style, you know I dig you like a tomb
And I'm sorry for the things I've done and all I ask of you but please
Squeeze it in rhythm, prevent my heart from stopping
If you still want me come and find me in my coffin.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knockin' and I'll raise hell for you
Oh woah oh, If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knockin' and I'll raise hell for you
Oh, woah, oh, if you need me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

Well, maybe I should switch up the style of my mistakes
The hearts or promises I tend to prefer to break
Oh, but stop the world and melt with me, Friday I'm in love again
If you still want me come and find me in my coffin
Hold my hands, we'll dance the 12-step on my grave
I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours, babe
No, I ain't begging. I'm just saying it's an option
Don't let the latest be the last nail in the coffin.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knock - and I'll raise hell for you
Oh, woah, oh, If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

Vampire Reference in a Minor Key - World Café Live, Philadelphia, PA

I’m that first-person they talk about in all the books
I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it’s all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don’t do it by it
So now I’m holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don’t make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this.
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

I loot plot-armor from NPC’s, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It’s all XP. Look in the
Sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that’s how I know I’m the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin’ me’s bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue 
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don’t know the prose, or if the spine is still intact.
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts.

Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty” 
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor’s new boots.
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine 
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu. (It’s nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through.
But I ain’t done a fucking thing to you.

So god forbid I’m seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character and you have to like me.

The Main Character - The Vermont Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA

Have you ever died in a nightmare? Woke up surprised you hadn’t earned your fate?
Have you ever felt like Atlas, threw your back out on the axis, and collapsed and threw the planet away?
Everyone’s just blood in an ice tray. A vampire picking flowers out in the sun.
Run your diagnostic tests, its posited nobody dies agnostic, but we still dial 9-1-1. Now we’re singing

Ooh, could you take a look at me? 
Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
Now we're singing ooh, whatever you think of me
If you were in my shoes, you’d walk the same damn miles I do.

Now we’re only tuning to the tone of the bell curve now. Ask not for whom it tolls. 
But with my head up in the clouds I can see so much ground, and from up here you look like ants in a row.
It doesn’t take a killer to murder. No, it only takes the reason to kill.
We’ve all got evidence of innocence, it’s ‘everything’s coincidence’ 
the difference twixt fate and free will is whether you’re singing

Ooh, could you take a look at me? Tell me! 
Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
Now we're singin' Ooh, whatever you think of me
If you were in my shoes, you’d walk the same damn miles I do.

So if you wash your hands of where you’ve been until you flood the second floor,
Neatly fold your skeletons but still can’t shut the closet door.
The only ones in need of love are those who don’t receive enough.
So evil ones should get a little more.

You! could you take a look at me? 
Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
We're singing You! Whatever you think of me; if the shoe fits would you walk that mile? 
You could put it on the other foot, it’s the same size.
You! could you take a look at me? Tell me! 
Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
We're singing you oh-oh-oh-oh whatever you think of me
If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you.

Laplace's Angel - Blueberry Hill Duck Room, St. Louis, MO

Salt on the glass, coke on the knife
Is there anything left to escape but life?
I didn't sign
I didn't sign up for this

May today lose what yesterday won
Hope that tomorrow I'll get something done
I'm gonna run
I'm gonna run out of time

But, I'll tell you what, I'm not afraid to die
I'm more afraid of what might happen first
Either way it's not like we'll get out alive
I can't say that I know which one is worse

Everything's useless, especially songs
I think the truth is that everyone's wrong
Still sing along
Still sing a long, long time

I might keep looking for nothing to find
They say "Keep trucking, it's all in your mind,
Jimmy, you're fine, "
End of the line, gaining speed
Wrapping trees

But, I'll tell you what, I'm not afraid to die
I'm more afraid of what might happen first
Either way it's not like we'll get out alive
I can't say that I know which one is worse

But, I'll tell you what, I'm not afraid to die
I'm more afraid of what might happen first
Either way it's not like we'll get out alive
I can't say that I know which one is worse

Jimmy Mushrooms' Last Drink - Austin City Limits, Austin, TX

Wonder how I didn’t die 
This is not my life. I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive.
Wonder how I sleep at night 
Well I count pink elephants, blessings and skeletons
Down the days I have left, with one eye open 
That was me screaming “Bitch, I am reality.”
And stumbling off to lose myself in a brown paper bag cause me and
Sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue 
A staving shakes scraping change till daybreak 
Turns out anyone can eat out the trash
Then wake up on the freeway mid-crash

Cause I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said
It’s a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Waste not want not borrowed time
Lender knows I’ve tried, to make it right, give back my life and if not
Take it cause lately I been thinking maybe I could
Take it or leave it if I can’t at least break even then I’m leaving when
I been feeling this awful since I hit bottom and
said “hand me my shovel, I’m going in.”

Oh brother – man, you call that recovered?
Tripped on a couple steps, and collapsed on the stairs
Broke my neck on the backs of those who I’ve hurt and scared
Like it’s a good thing, you said “you’ve got your whole life ahead”
Oh great, another half a century to live to regret
I’d rather be anybody else instead

Cause I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said
It’s a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Sober, but so much still hangs over
Please believe me when I say I poured my whole past down the drain
Say that a second chance is a chance I can take
But I can’t make amends for things I don’t remember
I can only say I’m sorry and occasionally pray
Guess you’ll just have to take my word that I’ve changed
After one thousand eight hundred twenty five days

I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said.
It’s a half-decade hangover, hand me my ibuprofen
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Half-Decade Hangover - City Winery, Atlanta, GA

Your stratospheric fear of catastrophe’s near, fast it’s here 
Atmosphere past your ears, fall but you’ll neverland
Second star to the right…

I’m gripping the grass and I’m pulling up daisies
Thank matter for mass and the comfort of gravity
Airplane eclipses over spirals of math, would or could the impact kill me?
Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no, no, no.
It’s just the high-noon moon saying “shoot for the stars!”
“Be the next big constellation, connect the dots between your parts!”

Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Only plastic flowers never die

With the bones of a crow and ambitions of candlewax
What do you know of control? The wind is simply at your back
It really seems pollen’s more clever than bees, so you cue the final words of Leary:
And cry “Why, why, why? Why not? Why not? Why not?”
I’d rather be a hot-air Hindenburg than an elephant tied right down to its stake
Cut ties, shed the dead weight. I ain’t saying it’s fate, but there are no mistakes

And dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Only plastic flowers never die. 

While I cry on skies of blue linoleum. 
Clouds of spilt milk, but am I the cup?
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?
Falling up. 
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?

Disney-Pixar Ludovico, Shirley Temple maraschino
Hotel rooms of Motley Crüe, Broadway producer improv troupes
Ray-Bans in your living room, eyeline hurts to be in view like
Stage fright only when its karaoke night with friends leave early
Did I earn this stupid hat? Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?
Oh, is now really a good time for a new tattoo?  

The larger they are
The harder they tend to fall
Much larger than life cause from such height
Life looks awful small

And dandelions grow in dirt
Magic mushrooms grow in piles of bullshit
I grew up in suburbia. 
Love us or hate us, pick us you’re killing us, and 
Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed
Only plastic flowers never die. 

While I cry on skies of blue linoleum. 
Clouds of spilt milk, but am I the cup?
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?
Falling - 

Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze 
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Dandelion seeds yet to ride, am I falling up?
All them dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?

Oh, is now really a good time for a new tattoo?

Your stratospheric fear of catastrophe’s near, fast it’s here 
Atmosphere past your ears, fall but you’ll neverland. 
Second star to the right…
And straight on ‘till you die.

Falling Up [Live in Studio] Backroom Studios, Rockaway, NJ

I don’t owe you my heart, and I don’t owe you my body.
But you should know that I’m sorry for being careless with you.
Lord knows I owed you more, than I’m pretty sure I ever could give anybody
But I can’t pin down what normal people want from foreign objects
Bottom-shelf erotic products like me

So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arms’ length
Oh, hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake
Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough
Unlikely to be more than the coal you fail to crush

I swear I’m really trying.
Get it together, Will, know and do better
It just don’t come natural to me to think
That you’d want me for me
I swear I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

I still don’t know who you are. I only know that I’m still lonely
That morbid sort where even company can’t cure me
And the more you reassure the less I trust
But still you gave me your heart, I only gave you my body.
Honestly thought nobody’d want it, let alone notice it’s
Gone and so I left it home but now
Now, now, now

I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head
Oh, monkey-wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends
I’ve lived more lives than enough, I haven’t died quite as much
But I’m not a real person, just the shit you can’t make up

I swear I’m really trying
I’m just as exposed if I take off my clothes 
When we make the closest thing to love that I’m capable of
I don’t know why you would care. But I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

Did I really 
Have any of that gravity? Maybe you’re quicksand
Because I really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went
The vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart
I’m catatonic in your arms, cryin’ “how did I cause so much harm?”

I’m down pounding my head against the kitchen floor
Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
Don’t say “I’m sorry but this can’t go on” I know you got scars of your own,
But hide my knives before you go, I’ll either live or die alone

I swear I will die trying
I’m still in the process but I’m making progress. 
I promise I honestly want to prove improvement’s possible
I swear I’m so fucking sorry
I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all, but 
Someday I’ll be perfect and I’ll make up for it all

Against the Kitchen Floor - Charlotte, NC

Why, I can't see
That I am the "me"
That I was born into
And what's the source of you?
In your head, in your head, in your head
And yet you believe it's true
Well, you do
Like you knew anything, ever, never
Trust in yourself
Or anyone else
We've always all been wrong
And we built these walls strong
Even I might defy, won't deny
That I'm trying while my eyes do defy
And belie quiet liars as I
Say what I say, any way, I might be saying it
But I've been wrong before

You can break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could you could
You can break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could never know

Don't you forget
That all you project
Is just to protect you from
The void within the form
Yes or no isn't null
Yes it is, no, I don't know
Yes or no, isn't that a silly question?
Ask it anyway, 'cause
What we are is
What we are not
אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה
What myths must make us man?
What is "is, " what is "not?"
What is "what?"
What's up party people?
What? What I wonder?
Why I'm not whatever, what the fuck 'cause

You could break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could you could
You could break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could never know

I noticed that the sunshine is a gaslight
I'm hoping that this one might be my past life
My Lord, I know enough to get my facts right
And that's good enough for me
And everything and everyone will die soon
And we'll have nothing left for us to lie to
No matter what we seek you'll never find truth
And that's good enough for me

True believers, I said, old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It's good enough for me

So give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It's good enough for me.

So give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It's good enough for me.

So give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It's good enough for me.
It's good enough but not enough
To be good enough for me

Cause you could break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could you could
You can break a shovel when you break new ground
You dig dirt up when you dig deep down
You should know better than that by now
It's not profound to know that you could never know

The Song With 5 Names - The Foundry, Lakewood, OH

Get out of your own maze of stubbornness, worry, and pain. Break free before you make your own trap. Life is short, go get want you want, before it is too late.

The Day I Stopped Doubting

Independent experimental singer-songwriter and multimedia artist, currently fast asleep.

Against the Kitchen Floor - Charlotte, NC

Will Wood

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