Song is not mine.

All credits go to Will Wood.

Listen to Camp Here and There on Mayfieldandbelov.com, Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts.

Yes, to Err is Human, So Don't Be One. - Will Wood

I’m that first-person they talk about in all the books
I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it’s all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don’t do it by it
So now I’m holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don’t make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this.
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

I loot plot-armor from NPC’s, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It’s all XP. Look in the
Sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that’s how I know I’m the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin’ me’s bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue 
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don’t know the prose, or if the spine is still intact.
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts.

Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty” 
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor’s new boots.
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine 
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu. (It’s nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through.
But I ain’t done a fucking thing to you.

So god forbid I’m seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character and you have to like me.

The Main Character

I don’t owe you my heart, and I don’t owe you my body.
But you should know that I’m sorry for being careless with you.
Lord knows I owed you more, than I’m pretty sure I ever could give anybody
But I can’t pin down what normal people want from foreign objects
Bottom-shelf erotic products like me

So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arms’ length
Oh, hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake
Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough
Unlikely to be more than the coal you fail to crush

I swear I’m really trying.
Get it together, Will, know and do better
It just don’t come natural to me to think
That you’d want me for me
I swear I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

I still don’t know who you are. I only know that I’m still lonely
That morbid sort where even company can’t cure me
And the more you reassure the less I trust
But still you gave me your heart, I only gave you my body.
Honestly thought nobody’d want it, let alone notice it’s
Gone and so I left it home but now
Now, now, now

I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head
Oh, monkey-wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends
I’ve lived more lives than enough, I haven’t died quite as much
But I’m not a real person, just the shit you can’t make up

I swear I’m really trying
I’m just as exposed if I take off my clothes 
When we make the closest thing to love that I’m capable of
I don’t know why you would care. But I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

Did I really 
Have any of that gravity? Maybe you’re quicksand
Because I really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went
The vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart
I’m catatonic in your arms, cryin’ “how did I cause so much harm?”

I’m down pounding my head against the kitchen floor
Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
Don’t say “I’m sorry but this can’t go on” I know you got scars of your own,
But hide my knives before you go, I’ll either live or die alone

I swear I will die trying
I’m still in the process but I’m making progress. 
I promise I honestly want to prove improvement’s possible
I swear I’m so fucking sorry
I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all, but 
Someday I’ll be perfect and I’ll make up for it all

Against the Kitchen Floor

Music by Will Wood And the Tapeworms.
Will be deleted at owner request.

Will Wood - Black Box Warrior - O.K.U.L.T.R.A.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2econd 2ight 2eer (that Was Fun, Goodbye.)

Love, Me Normally

From "Everything is a Lot" by Will Wood and the Tapeworms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl5XUM_qoN4

Six-up, five-oh, pigs come, I cop n’ go. 
The blotter shows they got me on the rocks like Galapagos. 
Good luck finding critters creepy as me. They shoulda fried me, I’ll give ya PTSD 
Vodka shots droppin’ down the throat they been stompin’ on. 
Cockin’ guns, lockin’ up, the quotas all for shock n’ awe. 
Drivin’s tirin’, and I been hot-wirin’ to make my get away from the jailbreak riot and 
Cellmates scrapin’ upon the bricks in the basement, 
tryin’ to escape this probation generation- too late! 
Crazy fuckers’ gotta do the time. 
Committed to the mental ward, committing all the crimes. 
I’m alive and kickin’ till the split ends fray. 
Maybe plead insane, guilty, but I’m not to blame! 
I’m a slave to the main vein, sprayin’ on the mainframe. 
Suffering the infrastructure, hoping I can maintain! 
Oh how I know how I go how I go. Ask me a question the answer I know. 
Yes or no options don’t weigh out and so; I don’t ever see the cons and the pros. 

You bare a striking resemblance. 
Some kind of semblance of somethin’ I been rememberin’. 
You appear familiar dear. You look just like my bathroom mirror. 
Please policeman- no heel-to-toe. Oh please, let me go! 
Please police- is it a test? I won’t know till I’m under arrest. 

The drunk-tank’s blood red. Junkie’s gonna relapse. 
Some think punk’s dead, me I don’t believe that. 
Rock n’ roll gatherin’ the moss till I be that lichen-coated boulder, make you slip, 
Bust your kneecap! 
Open on the amazon, hide the cure for cancer. 
I’m Lance Armstrong, you’re the necromancer. 
Slash n’ burn, crash into the 42nd answer, 
all my fellow skeletons adore the army ants here. 
Flies on my eyeballs, scabs on my elbows. 
Heaven knows God’s sittin’ up there like “Hell no!” 
Only one thing comes to those who wait. Is it too late to embrace your fate? 
My death come swiftly and gently to you. 
Mayhem, cry mayday, and oncoming doom. 
Save your convictions, they never will do. What you say’s at least 1/6 billionth true. 

You bare a striking resemblance. 
Some kind of semblance of somethin’ I been rememberin’. 
You appear familiar dear. You look just like my bathroom mirror. 
Please policeman- no heel-to-toe. Oh please, let me go! 
Please police- is it a test? I won’t know till I’m under arrest. 

Am I being detained? Am I under arrest? 
Read me my rights please. I want my phone call. 
Please policeman- no heel-to-toe. Oh please, let me go! 
Please police- is it a test? I won’t know till I’m under arrest.

6up 5Oh CopOut (Pro/Con)

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