this is a rather edgy song about intrusive thoughts. i experimented a ton with the vocals and the instrumentals, and overall i’m pleased with how it came out. i hope someone likes it.

~

knife.

“you fuckers give me claustrophobia!”

this is one of my favorite songs i’ve ever made!!! i love how this came out, honestly. it’s about being afraid of others getting too close, and living with that fear every day. it’s deeply personal, but i really hope someone can find comfort in this song in a way? idk i like it tho and it was definitely therapeutic to make.

~

claustrophobia.

“fall in love with me, i know it’s hard, I know it’s hard.
fall in love with me, i know that it will never be.”

this song is about never finding love, and feeling that you’ll die alone because of your own hang ups. i hope you like this one, it’s deeply personal (all of these are honestly). 

~

veil.

this song is pure experimentation and it’s so eerie!! I love it so much :’) i hope you like it too!!

~

shade.

Here’s a sad little song about being alone and afraid to show myself to people, and honestly not just being afraid but also just not knowing how. i sing abstract lyrics that don’t really make sense, but i still think it sounds really good, even if it’s not perfect. i hope someone enjoys this little tune.

~

the whites of her eyes.

this song was originally supposed to be an instrumental track, but i decided to add vocals since it had a certain vibe with them. the lyrics to this are very random and abstract, but i meant it to be about going against your moral compass and not being sure of what to do with yourself, or what is right. it has a certain vibe that i really like, and i hope others who hear it like it, too.

~

breach of contract.

“look into the sky with your bloodshot eyes.
don’t know where to find them when they’re in disguise.
look into the stars, where i’d go so far
if i didn’t fucking have fucking bloodshot eyes.”

this song was something i experimented on a LOT, and honestly i think it came out okay. i really hope it embodies that eerie feel i tried to create, and i do think it does to an extent at least. i hope anyone who reads this will enjoy the song :)

~

bloodshot.

this song is quite a bumpy ride! it’s about the voices in your head and the control they have over you. i love how it came out, even if it’s not perfect. I hope you guys like it! :)

~

possession.

this is the result of me experimenting with a lot of different harmonies. as for the title of this one, i called it “nyctophilia” as that is the word for a preference of darkness, or a comfort in it. i feel that i am always most comfortable at night, since it is quiet, peaceful, and the most restful part of my day. i can unwind, and i don’t need to deal with the stresses of the everyday world. so, this term resonates with me greatly. anyway, I hope you guys like this little song :’)

much love,

specterose ~~

nyctophilia

this song is about feeling small and insignificant, and some of the thoughts attached to that feeling. i honestly love this song, and think it’s really got a neat vibe. i’m proud of how it sounds, and i hope someone likes it!

- specterose ~~~

microscopic

this song is so peaceful for me :’) i thought of the line “when the rain subsides” as a line that resembles thinking of when life will get better, and when you’ll stop feeling like you’re waiting to feel joy again after not feeling it for a long time. “rain” in this context is the feeling of depression…

anyway, i hope you guys like this little tune :) i know that i am proud of it!

when the rain subsides

here’s a soft, eerie little tune…i really enjoyed making it and playing around with it :) i hope someone likes it! I really am happy with this one.

lurking

this one is veryyy experimental…honestly i am not sure whether i like this one but at the same time i kinda love it?? idk, but i feel like releasing this one just because. I experimented a ton with the instrumentals and vocals, and idk how it sounds but it’s sort of a bop i guess. i hope someone enjoys this little monstrosity lmao.

i am nothing

This has to be the most special song I’ve made in a long time. It’s about "drifting" from reality, because you’re so lost inside of your own head…anyway I hope you like it. :’)

drifting ~

what we could have been, if only i were still here

I’m going through the motions
I don’t know where to start
I’m losing my emotion 
I’m losing my heart 

I don’t remember life
and I don’t remember joy 
Can’t I remember something
Beyond the endless void 

I don’t have a conscience 
I’m falling apart
I’m becoming senseless
Frozen in the dark 

I don’t know where I’m going
I’m hanging by a thread 
I feel it coming closer
The darkness in my head

senseless

tried, I tried…(x2) 

I try to find
the light
the light 
inside 
from before I
died

i lose track of time 
constantly lose my mind
i try to feel alive 
trust me I try 

haunted by my past
I wish that i knew
what i could have done
what I could have done

to feel less alone
to feel less like stone
to feel more alive 
before I died

SPECTRAL TEARS ~;

conception

this song reminds me of a dreamcore/liminal space aesthetic type of song, that’s really slow and ominous and just has a really unique, weird but beautiful vibe. i had a lot of fun making this song, and i’m honestly obsessed with the result. it’s really slow, but it’s kind of calming to listen to and i just felt like uploading it just because. i hope whoever’s listening likes it :)

the stairway to nowhere

just a sad demo

instrumental was made from a reversed sample of an acounta demo from their “deluge” tape

here’s a synthwave ballad that i really enjoyed making :’)

i’m super proud of this one, I enjoyed playing around with melodies and such

hope whoever listens likes it <3

synth.wav

here’s a pretty existential song i made based on an old demo…it’s about feeling lost in life and not knowing what to do with it, which is something i feel all the time lmao. it’s deeply relatable for me, and i just love the somewhat haunting melody this has. 

hope you like it, whoever’s listening <3

i d l e

all this calamity
can’t i just find inner peace
maybe it’s not meant to be…

calamity

love this song…it’s about feeling like you’re not on earth anymore because of the fact that you’re usually stuck inside, imprisoned in artificial lighting and walls of concrete that seem to strip you of your humanity.

sometimes I think that’s some of the essence of liminal space aesthetics. all of the pictures I’ve seen are typically fragments of the artificial human world, something that is synthetic and manmade. being in it for too long makes you feel as if you’re not even alive anymore, like you’re just a number, a robot, going through the motions from task to task. maybe this song is a reminder to go outside, to connect with who you really are, which is a real human being, with a thoughtful mind, a beating heart, and a set of lungs meant to take in fresh, open air, and not the air inside of a musty industrial building. yet when you feel depressed, all you want to do is stay inside and hide away in your bed, away from everything and everyone that reminds you that you’re still alive and have to face the world. it’s a difficult thing, at least for me, but i still have faith that things will get better with time. anyway, much love <3 I hope you enjoyed this little collection of songs, including this one ~

unearthly

here’s a song that’s supposed to capture the simultaneous joy and suffering that comes with being in love with a certain kind of person…if you’ve experienced it, you’d understand the feeling quite well. i wanted to capture the sense of pleasure that you get from being in love, while also feeling a sort of heartbreak from not being able to feel that love reciprocated. it’s a frustrating feeling, and i’ve been on both sides of this, so i can definitely understand when those feelings aren’t reciprocated, but at the same time it still hurts…

pleasure//pain

some random eerie, creepy instrumental demo i made ~ it reminded me of an abandoned circus, hence the title

abandoned circus ~

this song. it’s one of my favorite ones I’ve ever made, and it makes me feel something so special…i just love it so much. i hope you like it <3 i’m definitely making more songs like this in the future :)

chasm

somewhere far far away//floating in outer space

hey

i feel like this song is so trippy but I still kinda like it lol

hope whoever’s listening enjoys ~

[binging on you]

something crazy and existential 

like me (!)

it’s very deep and dark and brooding and kinda cool imo, lol

i basically reversed a cool synth track i made, and i think it came out really interesting in terms of its sound

anyway i really loved making this, i hope whoever’s listening enjoys ~

too much light\\take it away//let me wallow in the darkness

messy songs manufactured with love ~ ✨<3

i have more content on my yt channel as well for anyone interested :’)

i appreciate everyone who supports me ^_^ I just love making music ~

specterose ~

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