you've been calling it as over
you've been timing it as out
you have not considered being as wrong as calling the earth flat

accusations turned to silence
complaints lacking base to back  
are everlasting conversations that fail to bring a thing to light

keeping all inside it burns your mind and your heart
while you wait for a sign that is right between your eyes
and you wonder if it's all inside your head

walk with caution in this thin line
where you are hurting then hurt back
a push and shove then make amends "i'm sorry (forgive me) i never behave like that"

you might call it innocence
some might say it's childish play
like a see-saw in the park the balance is seldom times so fair

keeping all inside it burns your mind and your heart
while you wait for a sign that is right between your eyes
and you wonder if it's all inside your head

you've been wasting time
once it all slides 
between the holes in your hands

keeping all inside it burns your mind and your heart
while you wait for a sign that is right between your eyes
and you wonder if it's all inside your head

keeping all inside it burns your mind and your heart
while you wait for a sign that is right between your eyes
and you scratch some old scars and it makes you fear the flight
and new risks you should take without ever question why
before ever taking chance at someone's heart
then you'll never wonder if it's all your head



All Inside Your Head

so help me if you think it's worth the time 
for figuring out the range like the colors of a jet stream against the beam of sunlight
between your wants and my needs i know, i know there's something down in that gap
so c'mon let's put flowers on the window and wave welcome aboard the sun

and light the way for bearing this heavy weight on my back
'cause i don't know

before we break a chasm right between our hearts and our lives
not by the lack of love but fear of mostly failing that jump
i'll miss the sound of your heart i know, i know i'll quickly fall for that trap
but for now let's put flowers on the window and wave welcome aboard the sun

and light the way for bearing this heavy weight on my back
'cause i don't want to see you crash and break your bones
i'd gladly take the fall if i could

i'm sick of falling over
of tripping bumps in the road
it makes me question if i'm worth it

i'm done with following the code
with blindly taking false steps
your eyes are now my wake up call

i wanna learn to bear this heavy weight on my back
'cause i don't want to see you crash and break your bones
but i still don't know

i wanna learn to bear this heavy weight on my back
'cause i don't want to see you crash and break your bones
but i still don't know
i don't know
i don't know
don't know




Welcome Aboard

i wasn't looking for love
and wouldn't recognize it even
if it hit me twice on the face
with a fucking iron baseball bat

then you came along
out of the unknown 
made promises you couldn't keep
breaking the tender and already fragile
strings that were holding my heart together

together
so take these goodbyes while i feed on endings tonight

i wasn't looking for life
and wouldn't even ask to be born if was
given the chance of starting all over again

and though it is clear
it would make my mom sad
i know i can be selfish in the most despicable ways
i'm someone so easy to leave forever

forever
so take these goodbyes while i feed on endings tonight

once is a lie
then it's an honest mistake
then is a fight
and anger is posed as excuse
caught in the lie
called it a twist in the plot
couldn't believe
was hard to forgive
but baby i'll never forget

so take these goodbyes while i feed on endings tonight
take these goodbyes while i feed on endings
a heart that's been scarred can only be mended
if true love exists





The 18th

happy new year in this town and it feels like home
getting accostumed to sounds that i once would cringe to
still so insecure
i'm digging far from shore
getting accostumed to sounds that i hear with my eyes closed

been busy but keeping it still without going nowhere
fearing the things in my mind might spill through this hole in my head
falling far from earth
you've fallen from the stars
i'm busy but keeping it still though i wander alone so far

though it's not mine i've been carrying so far
this cross i should bear until the day i'm allowed to die
i'll carry the weight 
i'll carry the weight of this grudge on my back

happy new year in this town and it feels like home
and now for the very first time a cold fresh new start
still so insecure
digging soul for hope
but a happy new year in this town and it feels feels like home 

though it's not mine i've been carrying so far
this cross i should bear until the day i'm allowed to die
i'll carry the weight 
i'll carry the weight of this grudge on my back

and i
i'll carry the weight 
i'll carry the weight 

and i
i'll carry the weight 
carry the weight 
of this grudge on my back





The Year Of The Wooden Horse

all i wanted to say was gone after a few drinks
my mind could fly but somehow it stayed together
along with the memories stuck in the back of my brain

but when i got home
alone with myself
and the distance caught up with me

and all i could think was attached to your face 
making me call your name to the pillows beside my head that don't answer
and don't talk and don't smell like your hair anymore

but when you go home
no one but yourself
you were blissfully unaware

that it all went down
the minute you walked away
and i have no doubt
i would praise the chance
i would do anything

to feel once again
the warmth of your face next to mine and somehow
get the feeling i'm whole again

Blissfully Unaware

i put on my usual face
as opaque as a concrete wall
no transparency set
keeping safe distance from my core, my heart
between the lines i see no way
that you could cram down a new plot
no new ending to this scene
and even if i wanted to let you in
i wouldn't find the keys

you peeping from outside wouldn't get a chance of getting closer
you might as well put down your sword
give up the fight this battle i have lost long time ago

as i walk backwards from the mob
i try to forget what i've seen
my momma always used to say
that every single word is a prayer, i shouldn't waste my thoughts
but between the lines i see no way
that this could represent a change
not at this stiff point in time
and even if i wanted to let them in
i wouldn't host them well

you peeping from outside wouldn't get a chance of getting closer
you might as well put down your sword
give up the fight this battle i have lost long time ago

if sailing away i'd never come back 
if sailing away i'd never come back 
if sailing away i'd never come back home

you peeping from outside wouldn't get a chance of getting closer
you might as well put down your sword
give up the fight 
this battle i have lost

you peeping from outside wouldn't get a chance of getting closer
you might as well put down your sword, lay down your arms
wave the flag, give up the fight 
this battle i have lost a long long time ago
this battle i have lost a long long time ago


Masquerade

you wake up
and it's night again
and you wonder if it was all a dream instead
but no, he did it
he put it all to waste
years and years and years of hopes and dreams

so you open a bottle
a second and a third
hoping it'll quench away your fears
but tomorrow is at the door
and time's not gonna wait
you get up and stand on your own two feet

but you should know
no one wears the face of inoccence
and you should never trust someone who wears it like a prise

c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day
c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day

love received demands love returned

for now, it all 
might seem to much to bear
when you cling to his head pillows at night
but there's always drama
in heavy metal hearts
and i am sure that yours is tough to break
and even if it breaks it's not for long
you're showered in the love it takes to mend it
to mend

c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day
c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day

love received demands love returned
love received demands love returned
love received demands love returned

c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day

c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day
c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't let the love in your heart fade
there's so much more of life than what happened yesterday
so c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day
c'mon c'mon c'mon
don't waste your tears on who's to blame
even if it's only for a day
only for a day

love received demands love returned





Aroha Mai Aroha Atu

i wonder if you wonder too
if all is quiet around you
or if there’s a little twister that follows you around like in my head

i wonder what’s with all this noise
i can’t make quiet in my house
it’s the wandering and wondering that makes me spend the nights pacing around

i wonder if you wonder too
if giving up was the easy way out
and if it’d make us crazy to jump back to the start and start again

i’ll have a sale on question marks
oh, fuck, i’ll give them all for free
i’d trade doubts for all the certainty of having made the right choices in life

i wonder if you wonder too
if we still lived in the same town
would we be friends or something more or would you even bear to having me around

i can’t make sense of all this noise
can’t shake the static in my head
it’s the weight the size the shape and the smell of all the memories inside

i wonder if you wonder too
closure was closed enough for you?
are there tiny tittle pieces of the remnants of our love sticking around?
 
they glued like glitter to my skin
can’t wash them off even if tried
and they shine so bright at night that the light of your blue eyes keeps me from sleep

Insomnia

Unpretentious demos recorded directly in windows sound recorder with a notebook's mic. ;)

Headphones are STRONGLY recommended.

WindowsSoundRecorder

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