tw; suicidal thoughts / suicide

i am in a better place now and is getting some sort of mental treatment. this song was written when i was still in my early high school days, simpler days when nobody gave two shits about your mental health and when bullying was fun apparently...

there's more i would love to "fix" from this song but at this point i'm never gonna be able to release it.
artwork is temporary, i kinda cheated with it and i need to replace it soon.

song 3 of 13
hey there can you help me kill myself? (htcyhmkms?)
photobooth LP // Winterberry

coming to stores soon

[lyrics]
hey there, do you have a minute?
i just wanna ask a once in a lifetime favor
could you end it
i'm too scared to hurt myself
but lately 
everyone around me
doesn't really seem to like me
these fake smiles stare at me, nobody
i've been wondering if i should kill myself 

so, i bought lighters
i brought gasoline
i know you think i'm crazy 
but i'm serious, delirious
i want to eat myself
so maybe friday night
where no one can really see me
im sorry that i cant pay you back
it sucks but honeslty
i've been so desperate 

i wanna die already
kill me fast and steady
tie me up and burn the house down
watch me turn to ashes too
throw my remains on the trash
just like everyone would 
they think i belong there
just be careful
if they see you with me
they might hate you too 

i'm all worried, from the gravity
i wonder if its all a dream
and i just do the things i do
all cause i hate myself
but i know, its not too bad 
i'm still here and breathing
that must mean its okay right?
i've been so confused so
i want to forget it all 

push me, kick me while i'm screaming
just like everyone, they're having fun
i never wanted this, i just want to have friends
but its been clear that i've been better as a joke so
don't talk cause i might just break
lets just meet for the night
its all too much to wait 

why can't i die already
kill me fast and steady
tie me up and burn the house down
watch me turn to ashes too
throw my remains on the trash
just like everyone would 
they think i belong there
i'm just sure that if
they hear me screaming
they might love it too 

i hate my life
i hate everything
i know you think 
i cut myself with roses 
but i'm serious
i want to kill myself
so maybe watch me lock
the doors and all the exits
and record my dying words
i never wanted this
i just want it to end

htcyhmkms?

a lot of stuff has happened the past few months, i was grieving the death of my only sibling and college has started giving me the massive homework treatment. my energy and emotions were taken away from me and i could not write any music for a while. i've recovered a little bit and ended up writing this pretty simple song. (jenny produced this one) i know it's not like the other songs but i hope you enjoy this one. i think this song is about being so tired emotionally that you just don't seem to care about literary anything anymore.

i'm going to be working on 3 more songs for the album before finishing it with interludes and other stuff. until than, thanks for all the support you've been sending us! they help us move on forward.

song 5 of 13
rest in pink
photobooth LP // Winterberry

coming to stores soon

[lyrics]
hey, anyone got some first aid?
seven stories, second time
is the body okay? 

i dont know what went wrong
thought she had love
i thought she wanted to stay 

how? she had problems 
with her best friend
parents dead, in her head
with nothing to say 

no time and work to stress
she barley sleeps
gathers a mess
and 

someday ill finally get 
the thought to let me go
i dont like, thinking about feelings
about my thoughts, ill let this go
im typing 

white lies, look away
why does it matter
i cry at night anyways
why does everyone ignore you
when you need to talk to 
talk to another ghost? 

im thinking
fake signs, if i die
what would they think?
i told a lie, anyways
why does it matter to you?
ive been dancing all alone
in solitude, im all alone 

la la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la 
la la la 

in solitude im all alone 

la la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la 
la la la 

in solitude im all alone 

she wants to talk but
no one gets the message
she needs a hug, from somebody
who can tell her shes loved
boyfriend in the states
evicted in the wrong side of time
wonder how you manage to put all the matters aside 

someday ill finally get 
that planner, i dont know
i dont like, writing with a pink ink
telling me to let this go
im writing 

white lies, look away
why does it matter
i cry at night anyways
why does everyone ignore you
when you need to talk to 
talk to another ghost? 

im thinking
fake signs, if i die
what would they think?
i told a lie, anyways
why does it matter to you?
ive been dancing all alone
in solitude, im all alone

la la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la 
la la la 

in solitude im all alone 

la la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la
la la la 
la la la la la 
la la la 

in solitude im all alone

Photobooth

rest in pink

in an attempt to join (@artbyform)'s all nighter vol 7
this song was made in 5-6 hours, fixing took an extra 2 or 3 hours

collaboration with @indigothread
open.spotify.com/artist/08dk348giS73whr3eKWVKt

[lyrics]
i don't even a second to slow me down
you're crazy and i'm numb
i don't want to have to deal with another round
here we go again 

right arm uppercut
minutes in i can't squeal
steal pipe, that must hurt
high heels and a high knee skirt 
loud, table turns
realized this wound is real
come for my heart
overtime their favorite part 

splat, i can't feel
anything, a last resort
to an appeal
i don't wanna find a cure 
i'll make you burn
every time you pull my hair
no it's not fair
everything is far apart 

apart, but the faces in control
they want a show, we have a role
so soul, i dare you
come around this route 

you can't touch me now 
i don't wanna think about it

i dare you, go
say that, what you want
it's just an idle conversation
ignorant is bliss and
i don't wanna think about it, no

say that, i'm a fraud
and i'll make sure you'll never say it
ignorant is bliss and
i don't wanna think about you 

i don't wanna
i don't wanna think about you

problems, it's a lot
i don't think that i can heal
oh it's surreal
southpaw, and a world so small 
hide, you're alone
looking at this driving wheel
crash for my lungs
i just need to fall apart 

blood, red i spill
hopefully, a one and done
i need a deal
i'll make them call 911 
i'll watch you burn
tied up in a plastic chair
from your affair
i don't need a favorite part

apart, but the faces in control
they want a show, we have a role
so soul, i dare you
come around this route 

you can't touch me now 
i don't wanna think about it

i dare you, go
say that, what you want
it's just an idle conversation
ignorant is bliss and
i don't wanna think about it, no

say that, i'm a fraud
and i'll make sure you'll never say it
ignorant is bliss and
i don't wanna think about you

right arm uppercut
minutes in i can't squeal
steal pipe, that must hurt
high heels and a high knee skirt 
loud, table turns
realized this wound is real
come for my heart
overtime their favorite part 

splat, i can't feel
anything, a last resort
to an appeal
i don't wanna find a cure
i'll watch you burn
every time you pull my hair
no it's not fair
everything is far apart

touch (w/indigothread)

birdcage
track 3 of "if they would get back to us" (upcoming album)
[photobooth lp currently in pause, still working on that]

written by ariana lee & miss chiew
produced by deardieari & jennifer1
special thanks felimos & g6one9

both temporary artwork and mixing will be 
replaced/updated with the release of the upcoming album

keep in touch with us!
https://discord.gg/KxbDU8p

birdcage

it's ari's birthday today! here's a little treat :D
(we're not dead we promise, the album is literary taking us years to finish
it's not even the photobooth album, its a different new album)

stagefright21.wav - track 15 of 17
"if they would get back to us" (a concept album)

art by g6one9
art help by unsurellie & daradan
production help by @androlyx

[lyrics]
(take five, one two three go)

it's been a while
i don't know what's holding me back
i really feel the need to go break a leg
of mine if not maybe somebody else
i'll return to reflect on myself 
head's fucked, but i don't know what it is 
i wished i never listened to your words
regret, forget, i don't know if i'll ever learn 

but honestly i've been out, so delayed
i really wished i held my soul
a another year of pain
its starting to get out of control 

but you see me, lying on the floor 
so help me, drown me in my tears 
"i hope you trip and fall in
every corner in your fears" 
when i don't need it all
you compensate in all these years (i wasted) 
i wonder how we'll disappear 
whatever, can you let me go? 

i'm going to throw my phone outside
someone read a page of my notes
"you're next", "maybe call for help"
i hear you running, i don't know what's
wrong with me, so why am i running?

when my leg's fucked 
cause i don't know what it is 
i wished i never took it when 
my vision's blurred, upset, outlet
i don't know why i'm always hurt 

and you see me, lying on the floor 
so help me, drowning in my tears 
"i hope you trip and fall in
every corner in your fears" 
when i don't need it all
you compensate with all these years (i wasted) 
i wonder how we'll disappear 
whatever, can you let me go 

i don't really want a another 
day of stage fright
i just hope that one day, 
i know it'll be alright 
i don't wanna hear a another 
word to pass by
i just know that ill be staring 
at the limelight 

i don't really want a another 
day of last night
i just hope that one day, 
i know i'll be alright 
i don't wanna hear a 
another wish to pass by 
i don't wanna hear a another-

but honestly i'm still out, so delayed
i really shouldn't sell my soul
a another year you wait
and i start to get out of control 

and you see me, lying on the floor 
so help i'm drowning in my tears 
i hope you trip and fall in
every corner in your fears 
cause i don't need it all 
you confiscated all these years (i wasted) 
i wonder how we'll disappear

(i don't wanna do this anymore... i'm tired)

stagefright21.wav

[remix stems]
https://www.mediafire.com/file/sqyr6ldawk9sgi1/Adorablest_%5BStems%5D.zip/file

stillseventeen.rar

111aaadorablest_2017edition​)​(​!

photobooth lp
track 13/15
at least i hoped (ft. @pookikitty)

this is a remake of an old song
we planned to release that on the album
but decided to keep this version instead

releasing at @finitysounds
art by @aqcoffee
special thanks @felimos

[lyrics]
i'm looking down
it's been a while since
i could let it go
fragmented gowns
i was so lost back than
when things were crossed

i'm holding breath
swam in gasoline
it's just a another thing
they want to see
i'm calling hope
gave up past sixteen
my sight is clear
i want to see you
one more time

tearing up i'm mistaken, hold me so
i won't feel lost again, i wish i've known
memories, these years
when our friends we're still here
so hold me close, and sing this
lullaby where i belong

show me a place where i belong
cause everything we had is gone

hold hold hold, i've waited way too long
i'm leaving now, i've seen things
and i think i'm falling, down the road
of sorrows, say you won't let go
i'm feeling cold. with these rings
think i lost these feelings
hold me close

and never let me go
painting and memories
reroutes
excuses that we sold
I wish we could be moving on
cause there's just so much more
they'll never know

tearing up i'm mistaken, hold me so
i won't feel lost again, i wish i've known
memories, these years
when our friends we're still here
so hold me close, and sing this
lullaby where i belong

at least i hoped (ft. pooki) v1

virtual electronic rock band
@deardieari @jenniferglass

hiatus // currently working on (2 albums)
photobooth (? tracks)
itwgbtu (17 tracks)

management: @aqcoffee
hi.aqcoffee@gmail.com

Winterberry

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