Split

Roses no choruses
Before it bleeds
Let me think how many thorns
I want torn into all of me 
It’s not a struggle to feel 
if its felt constantly 
Of course it’s exhausting do I want it to change 
Shit I don’t know probably 
I mean yeah 
Actually I don’t know honestly 
You will never stop me 
from not doubting or questioning 
all of my dreams 
Though sometimes i may fully agree 
Still always give any my all 
but I still give into everything 
And act like I wear passion as a wedding ring 
I can’t divorce from my past 
So instead I practice Psychiatric  taxonomy 
My heart and my garbage 
On both of my sleeves 
Gather my baggage 
The future looks so promising 
All of my Apologies all of a suddenly 
The manic me 
is once again wondering 
If you can live both 
suicidal and happily 
Roses I know 
I said no choruses 
So I won’t sing 
But I feel like I just died 
So I’m gonna need a moment to grieve 



Roses no choruses
What do I mean
Maybe it means talking about beautiful things 
and the almost amazing way they can coexist 
with my pain and all of my suffering
Its not nothing if its comforting me 
But am I getting better or worsening things
I can repaint the broken me but they keep on resurfacing 
Ambulance and a Hearse on stand by for delivery 
Jump off of the mood swing 
A kiss for my thoughts from the lips of a queen
Keep working on me until I’m matching her masterpiece
Light a match then imagine we
Were on fire  
Laughing and dancing 
Will I ever feel that free 
ever become 
The picture she’s painted of me
Though honestly in reality I know that I need
to stop questioning my purpose 
My reason to be and why my lungs still work functionally 
quit finding it torturous that I still breathe
So that I can be 
both yours and my everything 
Im aware that the latter has to come first if I 
don’t ever want the former to leave
Abandonment I’m always strugglin
The moment I feel loved is the same one I start panickin
Feel as walked by as a mannequin 
My whole world falls a part but nothing is even happenin 
I can still still feel it though 
I can still see it though 
I still believe
the lie that tells me 
Everyone and everything I know
disappears eventually 
I can see it so vividly 
On rewind 
Block it out? Yeah I’ve tried 
I’m so sick of the fear 
Knowing I’ll be left behind 
Say it twice 
I love you, now just feels like goodbye 
I love you, now just feels like goodbye 
So I’m
Gonna need a moment to grieve

Roses

Tell me it gets easy 
Tell me it’s okay 
Tell me that you’ll find me 
One day the sunshine will not feel like rain 

Peace is a tease and she won’t stop knocking 
Trying to get me to let her in 
Every time I decide to open the door the bitch
just starts walking 
Away
But not pain 
She’s still probably asleep 
Underneath the sheets laying naked in my bed 
Everyday I tell her I need a break but she owns 
way too much space up in my head 
If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have all of this 
The paint on my shame, 
the regrets or over a decade in which 
I haven’t had a day 
that I didn’t spend fucking depressed 
Suicide nets 
In case I slip or if 
I’m ever tempted to just get over them 
She’ll hold me by the neck 
Pull me in by the noose still attached to it 
While still undressed 
I’m drowning again 
Pretending I can’t swim 
Somehow I enjoy this 
Let my torment hop right back in 
Who the fuck was I ever really kidding 
Good days like I’d ever let those happen 
This is a battle that I’ll never let myself win 
Happiness never mind 
Goddamn I just realized  
I don’t know anything about them 

Tell me it gets easy 
Tell me it’s okay 
Tell me that you’ll find me 
One day the sunshine will not feel like rain 


If you’re not a negative or violent emotion 
Then I’m sorry but I’m not open 
You really haven’t learned yet?
Leave me alone when 
I don’t wanna be noticed 
Which is when I’m at my lowest 
Which is always as long as I don’t lose my focus 
Mirror the image of hopeless 
And I’m so over the person who wrote this 
Let me go see I’ve already written the note 
I feel like these end it all thoughts are the only antidote 
And the only ones I can trust to not let their promise be broke 
But if they’re like everyone else that’s just fine
I’m done having to feel every second where my broken heart lies 
And if hell is the destination 
Well I’ve already been there most of my life 
Wouldn’t be my first visit 
I’m still here haven’t left in a long time 
In fact a closed casket or in ashes seem like 
The only places I could feel at home
I already told you to leave me alone
And I’m still so over the person who wrote this 
Just let me go 
I’ve already written the note 
So just let me go 
Leave me alone 
I’ve already written the note 
Goodbye 
Now you get to say that I told you so
And fuck this pretty chorus 
Please don’t 

Tell me it gets easy 
Tell me it’s okay 
Tell me that you’ll find me 
One day the sunshine will not feel like rain 

I need you to let me go

The Note

Black Button

Left a note
Though no one noticed 
Listen
It’s hard to say goodbye 
When there’s no one left to reply   
I’ll just talk to myself then 
Write another letter I’m supposed to die in 
Talk about how all this is still just as hard to digest 
And this isn’t just depressed 
Should i really feel blessed 
That there’s time still left 
Should I put myself back together 
But I feel better when I am the mass matter of the mess 
Because of this 
Positive thoughts are the ones that I box with  
Despite common sense I can’t ever decide who I want to to win 
It’s exhausting should I leave myself open 
Let them hit home and let a little hope in 
Confused 
Out of breath 
Rest my head on the chest of my opponent
Push out of the clinch resume mood swinging
Leave no room for a decision like my own fight was rigged from the beginning 
Going for the knockout, don’t care who it is  
Over and over again 
Pretend this is simply my medicine 
Anxiety panic abandonment driven
Wishin Ativan released before the Klonopin hit 
Hopin to untie the knots in my abdomen 
Words sit on top yes they are the heroin 
Smoke in the air chew up the Percocets 
But don’t let your nose drip 
Play Russian roulette?
Sure I’ll go first but only if you load the revolver with six 
Thoughts move too quick to hit or
For me to not miss 
And of course I’m out of bullets 
And if I actually managed to cause any damage
Shit 
They’d say suicidal again 
Ensue another hospital visit 

I for so long have tried 
To relieve my mind of the thoughts they fight 
Emptiness is nothing but at least it’s all mine
Happy I guess I’m just not meant to find 
But I can’t be scared to say goodbye 

Dial tone
No one wants to 
listen 
It’s hard to say goodbye 
When you know no one thinks about all of the reasons why 
I
Wanna leave or wanna go 
Some life looks wicked when written 
Some dreams of mine six strings or spittin 
A ring size for someone else to slide in 
Sun light I hate it 
I beg it to switch places 
So I can slip into that headspace 
Where I can only really feel the bad days 
Living 
Alone
Dying 
Assisted 
Don’t know where home is 
But know that I miss it 
Post cope mechanisms 
But I am still hope sick
Wrote this just to relay  
If I say that I am okay 
I’ve noticed 
I’m really still too stuck in the middle in between of feeling every single little piece of being brOKen
I only ever wanted to make you proud 
Every single moment here in the past and now 
I tried too hard to be perfect 
I’ve felt exactly how that worked out 
Let everyone including my own self down 
Lost and left out is all that I found 
And these tears 
If only they could drown 

I only ever wanted to make you proud of me
Every single moment here in the past and now only 
All I have are these tears
And there’s no drought coming 
There’s no drought coming 
If these tears could drown me

before i leave

Heart influenced narratives. 
You don’t have to read my mind; you can find it here. 
You are important. 

Booking & Inquiries:

Withnoarrow@gmail.com

WithNoArrow

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks