what's real ft. yiru

Oh I been going nowhere
Where am I trying to lead myself
Oh I can't lie
I been losing all my mind
For you for you

Right now, I’m looking at the first star I’ve seen in months
I’ve been looking at the moon, not completely out of touch
Why has it been so long
I forgot they even existed
I’m still stuck at home
Why does time fracture into pieces

To fracture into pieces like my whole damn world
To fracture into pieces like my mind is a whirl
Mmmm
I can't know
No
Coz I just wanna be
Where I am at peace
Just leave me alone
Just let me be
Let me be my own damn thing

(no body cares, in the end,
the only one you got as a friend, is yourself)

icl (original speed)

cant afford to
cannot lose you
i wanna love
another to prey
i cant be alone for this long everyday

oh no
im gone again
i find myself
spiraling back again

waiting for the time
that i feel at peace in my life
knowing that there's someone i can be for
loving i want more

no 
i cant go

i wanna love
but i 
cant even touch
oh i love you
cant just want you
i want good things
another thing for me
i cant be alone anymore
with how i've been

cant afford to
cannot lose you
i wanna love
another to prey
i cant be alone for this long everyday

i cant be alone for this long

Whats more important,
Me or the responsibilities others give me
Whats more important,
My own life,
Or the person people want me to be

But i do wonder,
How long I’ll feel like this
But I do ponder
the thoughts, i reminisce
I don’t need to be happy,
I just ask to be content
I’ve been trying so hard
Surely it was time well spent

I cant even force myself to do my school work anymore
I know i only have a few months left, but whats it all for

I’m not miserable but why do i feel tears in my eyes every so often
I’m weighing up the reasons, but nothing ever fixes my problems
Why cant i just go away
Why cant i just find a way
Why cant i just leave this place
Maybe itll be okay

why cant i

what does it mean to me
what do i feel when nothings me
what does it mean when time goes on
and i feel nothing
am i wrong
am i wrong for that
am i wrong for that

no i dont know,
and no i cant go
no i dont feel myself anymore
no im tryna know
but i can never show
how i really feel inside

what is even happening
how do i feel with the way things been
what does it mean when nothings gone
but i still miss you 
i still long
i still long for you
i still long
i still long for you
where are you
where are you

no i dont
think i can
wait any longer

why do i have to feel like this
though i know it could be so different
could be so different
if i was in a different place at a different time

could be so different

I go to sleep at night
Imagining that you're here
I dream at night of you
Now all the pain I can't bear

I wake up at night
I'm still thinking of you
I wake up in the morning 
Boy, I'm still thinking of you

I can't get you out
I can't get you out
I can't get you out

I sleep well 
Knowing I have you
So much better than I ever did before
I was longing for love in my life
And then you came to me
Oh I need more

I need you
I want you
I'm restless in my bed
Coz I can't stop thinking of you
I wanna feel your body against mine
I wanna look into your eyes

I sleep well 
Knowing I have you
So much better than I ever did before
I was longing for love in my life
And then you came to me
Oh I need more

I love hearing you tell me you love me
And I love telling you I love you too
I go to sleep with a smile on my face
Only if I've heard a goodnight from you

restless

I'm just so tired
I can't even speak
I'm just so tired
I can't even breathe

I feel so sick
It won't go away
I just want you here
But baby you're so far away

Oh I love you
And I want you
Too bad things have changed
And I just cannot have you

I still love you
And I'll care for you
I'm trying my best
But I don't wanna 
Detach from you

sick

I'm sorry I'm so lost
I'm glad we cut things off
So they don't hurt so much
I'm trying
But I'm losing myself

Oh I can't stay
And I can't go
I don't no body else
These feelings, they won't go
Oh I've gone numb
I've lost you my love
You're all I ever wanted
But I can't change plans above

I just know that I aint going
Nowhere
I can't see my life no more
Coz all I feel is fear

I don't wanna feel again

Oh I can't stay
And I can't go
I don't no body else
These feelings, they won't go
Oh I've gone numb
I've lost you my love
You're all I ever wanted
But I can't change plans above

u get the point

I was having dreams about you
So many last night
I just wanted love from you
But baby, it's alright

I'm just hoping that one day,
Things might change
But I understand if your feelings,
Will stay the same

If nothing matters,
Then what's the point
These thoughts that I gather
Just disappoint

I try to pray
But I feel so dumb
Oh I feel so numb
I can't sleep 
No I can't breathe, no

And if it's meant to be,
Then I'll let it be
It's all up to him
It's all up to him

All up to him
All up to him

I was walking beside you,
Your hand around my waist
Oh that felt oh so good,
Too bad, a dream,
It's fake

I know I'll always love you
But you don't want me though
Hey, it's okay cause in the end,
I'm better off alone

If nothing matters,
Then what's the point
These thoughts that I gather
Just disappoint

I try to pray
But I feel so dumb
Oh I feel so numb
I can't sleep 
No I can't breathe, no

And if it's meant to be,
Then I'll let it be
It's all up to him
It's all up to him

dreams

(wntr)
I don't wanna wait, but I feel
Oh so blind, cause nothing is real

I don't wanna wait, cause I feel
Oh so blind, cause nothing is real
I don't wanna lose anymore
Fighting with my self, it's like war
I don't wanna wait, cause I feel
Oh so blind, cause nothing is real
I don't wanna waste all of you
Baby what do I mean to you?

(@easttt)
Tell me what do I mean to you babe
I'm so tired and I cannot with you bae
Said i hate you but I'm in love with you, girl
Girl you got my head spinning, I'm nauseous 
You keep saying all this nonsense
Don't we have another option 
I'm so tired.

(wntr)
I don't wanna wait, cause I feel
Oh so blind, cause nothing is real
I don't wanna lose anymore
Fighting with my self, it's like war
I don't wanna wait, cause I feel
Oh so blind, cause nothing is real
I don't wanna waste all of you
Baby what do I mean to you?

I just been so alone,
Losing love, now I'm counting my wrongs
Looking back, now it's been so long
Left me empty,  and now all my love is gone.

but i feel

Maybe I was being too blind and deluded
Maybe I was being too kind and I'm stupid
But either way, these things I can't change
I'm crying, in pain, and you're the one to blame

I don't wanna feel a thing
You were nothing in the end
Oh God, why you bring
All this pain all cause of him

It's 3am 
I went to bed at 9pm
Too good for him
I shoulda listened to all my friends

I just wanna die 
But I wanna be alive
I don't want you boy
But I want you in my life

I've been pondering to myself though
Why I feel so alone and it's hell though
Looking in the mirror, feeling bad for my self oh
Watching tears fall, but nothing will ever help oh

I don't wanna feel a thing
You were nothing in the end
Oh God, why you bring
All this pain all cause of him

I don't wanna feel a thing
You were nothing in the end
No, I don't wanna feel a thing
All this pain you fucking bring
I don't wanna feel a thing
You were nothing in the end
I don't wanna feel a thing
All this pain you fucking bring

all this pain

I don't need no one 
But I guess there was something nice about 
Knowing he's around

I been spending time alone
But every now and then
These feelings come and they go

Oh I wanted someone
No, I need myself
I trusted in you,
All along you were with somebody else
Lies upon lies
Feeding my mind
You're afraid of the time
You done wasted with her
But did you waste it with me?

Constantly waiting and hoping
That someone else will come hold me
For once

But I know that the world keeps on going
And these feelings that we had 
Oh I just have to let go

And I know I didn't do anything bad
It's just you, 
You're the one who's so fucked in the head

Oh I wanted someone
No, I need myself
I trusted in you,
All along you were with somebody else
Lies upon lies
Feeding my mind
You're afraid of the time
You done wasted with her
But did you waste it with me?

Oh no
Did you waste it with me?
Did you waste it with me, 
I don't know

You're afraid of the time
You're afraid of the lies
You're afraid of everything that might gon happen to you

Oh but, I am afraid too
Oh I'm afraid too
Don't you worry

You are afraid of the time
You're afraid of the lies
You're afraid of the pain you don't wanna go through
I know you
I'm afraid too,
Yes I'm afraid too

afraid

Prod. @easttt

I just want another day on my own
I don't need no body else, I'm all I got
I don't even mind if I feel so numb
I just feel my life, start to become

I just been wondering
But I can't sleep
I just had another thought
Wanting you with me

Why do I feel so lost
I'm so far away 
Will I find the way now?
Why do I feel so numb
But I still am hurt
Though I can't reverse now

I been losing everything
Thought you were the one for me
Now everything's changed.
Everything's changed and it won't be the same
Everything's changed and there's no one to blame
There's no one to blame

You done things to me
I've changed, I've changed
You done things to me
I can't explain
Feeling so different now,
I know I lost everything
Everything
So I find

everything's changed

prod. @6wizzle X ‪‪‪@monkayo

Finding reason, It's been disguised
Why you see me if you've got other eyes

Minding on my own, I see you alone
Plotting in my head, I'm thinking of you
I don't understand, wanna see your point of view
Like baby, what is your view

(Oh oh oh)

Oh why
Oh why
You're doing things to me 
I can't even fight
I just want it back
But I can't have it
I'm living in the dream I made
I am an insomniac

I've been showering in the dark
Coz I like to feel the shadows around me
Coz they make me feel like there's someone around me
And I'm lonely and I just wish you would love me

Finding meaning, It's been disguised
Why you see me if you've got other eyes

Other eyes
Other eyes
Other eyes
If you got another mind,
Then why you riding with me
Why you riding with me, nah

I'm feeling you around 
I feel you in my skin
I know you're close but far
I want you 

(Finding meaning, It's been disguised
Why you see me if you've got other eyes)

disguised

(Mmm mm oh) 
Gotta shut my brain off
Whenever I start thinking all those thoughts
Of our beautiful past
All the times that we had
Now I have to just
Let it go 

I'm lying down
Might as well be in the ground 
All that I had now it's gone, lost not found

You done some things I can't see
You are something that I need
Why did you break me? 
I bleed
But in the end, these problems shape me

(Mm mm oh)

I think I'm afraid
I think I'm afraid
If I lose feelings
I'll lose you too
Oh I don't want that, you know it too
I can't bear that, you know it's cruel
I been in my head way too long
And I don't know, but things feel wrong

I'm crying out
But nobody's around
I'll die in my room silently
Not a sound

You done some things I can't see
You are something that I need
Why did you break me? 
I bleed
But in the end, these problems shape me

Are you the one for me?
Good, bad things happen
I foresee
Oh

(Mmm Oh Oh no)

I just wanna feel again
I just know that I can't 
It hurts me knowing I can't get it back
Oh I love you, now all the times we had
It's gone the past, It's dead in a sense



cant let go

(eastthekid)
Baby, I cannot forget anything you say
I'm just such a fool, I do what you say
I just wanna know if we can do this
Cause I think I'll hate if I don't have you

Tell me 'bout your day, no it's not useless
I'm in need of you, so what's the move girl
Want to hold you tight ever never
I promise I'll never let you go again

(wntr)
I only want you
I want you with me
Every day goes on
But I'm still missin'

(eastthekid)
I know that it's worth it babe
Just stay engraved inside my brain
Wanna see you smile again
Even if I have to wait

(wntr)
Don't care what others say
They could never make me
Leave you in the past
Cause you're my baby

Oh I don't wanna go
No I don't wanna know
The times I feel oh so wrong
You make me feel like I belong

(eastthekid)
I cannot forget anything you say
I'm just such a fool, I do what you say
I just wanna know if we can do this
Cause I think I'll hate if I don't have you

Tell me 'bout your day, no it's not useless
I'm in need of you, so what's the move girl
Want to hold you tight ever never
I promise I'll never let you go again

(wntr)
Oh I feel so lonely 
When I can't hear voice
I wanna see your smile
I want you on my mind

Oh don't walk away from me
Don't give me reasons to leave
I wanna feel you, what I consume
All my love, yeah all is for you

in need of you

never let you go

Walking in circles around my house
I just needa do something, I need somebody else 
I still wonder to myself why I feel so alone
Even though I have everything, all inside my home

How are you doing?
I really miss you
I just wanna know what you are doing,
Are we through?

How are we still something all inside my mind
But then I take a step back and open up my eyes
Why are you so different, always changing sides
I know you have your problems, but oh so do I

Walking in circles around my house
I just needa do something, I need somebody else 
I still wonder to myself why I feel so alone
Even though I have everything
Oh mm ohh

How are you doing?
I really miss us
I just wanna know what you are doing,
Are we done?

circles

prod. @prod-yiuvo

lyrics:
Falling, I'm dreaming of you
Calling, I'm calling out to you
No

Oh I'm failing today
I can't reciprocate feelings no more
And now I can't obey
Like loving oh what is it for?

Falling like dreaming
Now I'm mourning for love I can't receive
Oh oh

I don't wanna love
If I cannot understand
I don't want you here 
If you're gonna go again

Oh I'm burning myself again
I know I cannot undo some things
I want it, oh I want it
Baby, and I want us
And I can't just let it go

Calling out to you 
But I'm mourning for love I don't receive
Oh no

I may just be delusional
But it doesn't matter when I heal
I can't change the way I feel

mourning

Thinking too hard might be a weakness of mine
In peace and silence, all these grim thoughts arise
I just long for your presence in my room at night
But instead, I lay down and I twist up my mind

I twist up this
But I still miss us
Oh I'll wait

You were something to me and I can't let you go
All I ever needed was the love you used to show
Oh I would do anything to make us go back
Cause I don't care, I'll love you even if they think it's bad

Contemplating all the different paths I should take
I just wonder what decision should I make?
I wonder to myself why I love you so much
Baby do you love me? Or am I just not enough.

I twist up this
But I still miss us
Oh I'll wait

You were something to me and I can't let you go
All I ever wanted was the love you used to show
Oh I would do anything to make us go back
Cause I don't care, I'll love you even if they think it's bad

Oh I would do anything to make us go back
Cause I don't care, I'll love you even if they think it's bad

Oh no I don't know
I don't care
No I don't 
No I don't 

come back

prod.  @monkayo @prod-yiuvo

Hey just look at me
Look at what you see in me
I been lookin in the mirror
And boy, I'm seein things

I just wanna love myself 
Cause I just can't believe
The way you're actin up, yeah
You sure aint lovin me

Completing my goals
Hit em' back and then I go
Won't tell you where I'm goin
Cause I don't want you to know

I don't why you play with me
I wanna know, know
I'm making more than you so just
Lower your tone
Stop talking to me if you don't want me to bug
I Give attention, but you never give a fuck 

Oh oh no
Oh oh no

Running away 
I just wanna leave what's lost behind
I just wanna move on with my life

Hey just look at me
Look at what you see in me
I been lookin in the mirror
And boy, I'm seein things

I just wanna love myself 
Cause I just can't believe
The way you're actin up, yeah
You sure aint lovin me

Sure aint lovin me
Don't connect with me
Don't do anything
Living in a dream
Your world is so glum, it seems
I just wanna love someone before I die
I just wanna see the world through my own eyes

gravity

Prod @monkayo 

Oh oh mmm

You reap what you sow, and I know it too well
I been doing things I regret, and it's hell
Imprisoned myself in my own life
And I'm the only one who knows how to get out

Why I do this, I don't even know, no no
While I do this I'm still aware though
Might as well drown myself in a pool of my own blood
Go by touch, cause you know I can't see well

No I can't 
No I can't
No I can't 
No I can't
No I can't 
No I can't
No I can't 
No I can't

My body is tired, but my minds still awake
I just wanna sleep, but you won't go away
Why do I allow this to happen?
I thought I have control on what really matters

Too obsessive, and I know it aint a good thing
I just wanna be at peace, not thinking
Getting frantic and now I cant do anything
I can't oh

Why I do this, I don't even know, no no
While I do this I'm still aware though
Might as well drown myself in a pool of my own blood
Go by touch, cause you know I can't see well

No I can't, I been living on the edge
Oh I can't, all these feelings in my head
Why I do this, I don't even know, no no
While I do this I'm still aware though
Might as well drown myself in a pool of my own blood
Go by touch, cause you know I can't see well

No I can't, I been living on the edge
Oh I can't, all these feelings in my head
All these feelings in my head
All these feelings in my head
No I can't
No I can't

Oh no no
Oh no oh mmm

no i cant

Keep checking the phone
Now I'm getting side tracked
Needa focus on myself 
Instead of getting trapped
Serious or not
I don't know, they overlap
I just know I'm way too tense

Where are you at?
I wanna talk to you
Like, why you disappear?
How are you so strong in yourself,
That you don't even need me here

Mmm
Oh how you don't even need me

Maybe I'm just being narcissistic 
But I don't really get the point of this shit
Nah

Speeding through the days
Cause I kinda want them to end
I'm just waiting for the future,
Where I got shit on my wrists
If I care about you boy
Then take it as a win
Better appreciate me
Before you shoot and miss

O oh oh no
O Oh now I'm gone
Too far out of reach

Where are you at?
I wanna talk to you
Like, why you disappear?
How are you so strong in yourself,
That you don't even need me here

Where have you gone?
No oh

need me

Prod. @monkayo

Fighting myself cause I aint got no opposition, shi
Keep to myself cause I don't needa do no bitchin'
No needa do nah, I keep quiet when I
Feel some of my pain, I don't need no other

Try me, maybe you'll see I don't mean so much
All my life I been through, think that I'm bad luck

Oh oh oh

Outa sight, outa mind, all in my head
All of the times I done wish you were dead
I don't wanna keep on crying on
I just wanna get my life straight forward

(Try me, maybe you'll see I don't mean so much
All my life I been through, think that I'm bad luck, luck)

Finding myself cause I don't need no disposition, shi
On top of my health, cause I already learned my lessons
All done in the past, I don't think about it
I'm moving on forward, there's no doubt about it

I try all my best to understand
But it just never makes sense in the end, so
It don't matter no
Cause I would rather be alone

(Oh I would rather be on my own)

dreaming

prod. @prod-yiuvo

(Oh no
I don't know if he's saving me, no
I don't know if he's saving me, oh no)

I love you so much
Though I cannot have it 
I feel so numb
Though I seem ecstatic
Why you push me away?
Oh
Those thoughts take me to a terrible place

Thinking bout how long I've known you
Guess I linger for love too
But do you do the same too?
I want nothing else
I'm witchin' I'm casting spells

Oh oh oh oh

I love you so much
Though I cannot have it 
I feel so numb
Though I seem ecstatic
Why you push me away?
Oh
Those thoughts take me to terrible places

I love you
I love you
I love you (so much)

Baby come back to me
I'm not lying aint no blasphemy
I just want loving with you
But I know that it's bad for me
How many more lessons can I learn,
Still end up on my knees
I'm praying to God now,
But I don't know if he's saving me

Baby come back to me
I'm not lying aint no blasphemy
I just want loving with you
But I know that it's bad for me
How many more lessons can I learn,
Still end up on my knees
I'm praying to God now,
But I don't know if he's saving me

numb love

prod. taeyus @wokeupinthemud

Yeah nah
Right in the moment
Cause there's only now, no
Love those you love,
Before they end up in the ground
I spent like five times tryna figure out, no
We don't got nine lives,
Only got one round

I had a minute before I had to let him go
I'm feeling sick, 
But I know life in the end has to go
It's hurting bad,
But at least I'm not alone, yeah
I'll trust in God,
And I'll be safe just like home
Home home home oh
I'll be home home home oh

(right) Right in the moment
Cause there's only now, no
Love those you love,
Before they end up in the ground
I spent like five times tryna figure out, no
We don't got nine lives,
Only got one round

Mm yeah
Grief after grief
I'm on my knees, and I'm bleeding
Looking at the sunsets,
I know there's a reason
I know there's a reason

I know in the moment when my heart stops beating
That I might see God, I might see things I've always seen
Looking all around me at the flashing memories oh
I'll love myself and who I choose to be around me
Who I choose to be around me
Choose to be around me
Choose to be around me

Yeah 
Right in the moment
Cause there's only now, no
Love those you love,
Before they end up in the ground
I spent like five times tryna figure out, oh
We don't got nine lives,
Only got one round, no


I had a moment before I had to let him go
My stomachs turning, 
But I know that this life has to go
It's hurting bad,
But at least that I'm not alone, no
I'll trust in God,
And I'll be safe just like home
Home home home 
No yeah
Home home home oh
Mmm

No
Too much crying
How much more have I got left to lose?
Mortifying
I'm just waiting for the time
That I, I just might be
At peace or happy in my life
No, in my life

moment

Prod. @taeyus
Mastered by @eliehpr

Yeah, I got success ahead of me
They already know, though
Don't try put me back to sleep
I just woke up on my own
Can't trust another motherfucker
They be staring at they phones way too long
They got bitches, other hoes
And they thinkin' bout they dicks
And all the shit they can't control
Like boy, just get your head out of your ass
Get back on the road

Yeah, I don't want nothing to do with any of these dumb fuckers
All on my own, couldn't care about no lover
Don't even try to understand
Know you couldn't care less in the end, you fuckin'


Yeah, I got success ahead of me
They already know, though
Don't try put me back to sleep
I just woke up on my own
Yeah, I got some shit to do
But no one's stopping my flow
They aint even know, oh

If you knew what I know
If you knew what I, knew what I know
If you knew what I know
If you knew what I, knew what I know
Oh go to sleep
Oh go to
And I lay her in the cradle and it's time to go to sleep
Oh go to sleep 
Oh 

All of the things I been tryna remind myself about
Now I'm tryna live through life without the fear and doubt
Fighting with the work
Fighting with the work, nah
Fighting with my world 
Fighting with my world, nah yeah

I don't even know who you are, oh
Lay myself down, dreaming far

Yeah, I got success ahead of me
They already know, though
Don't try put me back to sleep
I just woke up on my own
Yeah, can't trust another motherfucker
They be staring at they phones way too long
They got bitches, other hoes
And they thinkin' bout they dicks
And all the shit they can't control
Like boy, just get your head out of your ass
Get back on the road

I don't want nothing to do with any of these dumb fuckers
Nothin' to do with it, I don't need no lover
Mmm Mm

sierra

prod. @user-croft 

I was looking out
Waiting for something to come 
Baby turn around

It hurts me so much
That you don’t want any of my love
Oh oh

Tears running down my face, as I’m sitting on the plane
I look out the window, hoping this might be the day
But I see that little baby beside me
How could I wish death upon a soul, like who am I even?

No
Why you hate me so much?
Can’t you show me some love?
I gave you all that I had
And I aint gon give you up
Oh

Now I’m throwing up cause I can’t hold you
Now I’m throwing up cause I don’t want you
Now I’m throwing up cause I still love you
Now I’m throwing up oh
Now I’m throwing up mm oh

I keep having nightmares of you
These visions I delude
But I’m still thinking of you
No matter what you do
I still love

But you don’t even give a fuck about my life or what I do
Cause you only care bout yourself cause it all revolves around you
Kill me million times, 
I still want you here in my life
Here in my life

No
Why you hate me so much?
Can’t you show me some love?
I gave you all that I had
And I aint gon give you up
Oh

I was looking out
Waiting for something to come 
Baby turn around

Can’t you see it?
We were so close
I know she hurt you,
It hurts me to know.

hurts me to know

Look around me, I don't even know what's the point anymore
I'm tryna stay strong, but now there's blood dripping on the floor
Can't afford another wave of grief, God take my life
I know it's a part of being, but I don't wanna cry

I don't wanna cry, no
I don't wanna cry
I don't wanna

Oh I been knowing my purpose
I got points to lose for certain
Seein things clearly and lucid
In my time alone secluded

Oh, alone secluded

No I see this, no point even tryna figure out
Yeah been this, why would I even bother chasing clout?

I see so much more than you thought I know
Oh I wouldn't bother wasting my time
I got shit to do, I got dreams to chase
That's on my life.

Oh I been knowing my purpose
I got points to lose for certain
Seein things clearly and lucid
In my time alone secluded

Oh
I got points to lose for certain
In my time alone secluded

lucid

Prod. @prod-yiuvo

I don't know why I'm still struck by all these things
I don't know why I'm still waiting on someone who won't love me

But I guess that time will wait, yeah time will take
Been in my head, but I can't and it's late
So time will wait, yeah time will take
Been all around, but I cannot escape oh no
Oh no, oh

I wanted to love you
But I been loosing all my head I 
Don't want no no one unless I'm looking in the right light
In the right light 
Oh no
I wanted to love you
But to you I just got no reason
Sitting comfortable, I know you love me
Don't you see it?
I know you see it oh no

Time will wait, yeah time will take
Been all around, but I cannot escape oh no

Lay my head on my pillow, you're in my dreams
Yearning for connection in my soul, that never comes to be oh
Oh never comes to be I know
All I do is dream I know
In my head I see I go oh

I wanted to love you
But I been loosing all my head I 
Don't want no no one unless I'm looking in the right light
In the right light 
Oh no
I wanted to love you
But to you I got no reason
Why do I do this to myself?
Oh

wntr

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