sideation [the cycle]

sideation

gonna work on some alternate versions of tracks of theTism over the summer, but here's one i made a while back

sideation [butterflied mix]

'theTism' is a sonic inspection and subsequent translation of my experience with neurodivergency, the ways in which it affects my art, my way of communicating with others, my experience with sound, and most importantly: who i am as a person.

It was important to me to honor my neurodivergency in the creative process of making this album, and thus it explores a wide spectrum (hehe) of electronic styles and inspirations that have played a role in the shaping and exploration of my mind, pulling from all sources of stims, like old youtube videos and television shows from when I was younger; a key reference to the era of early childhood in which I experienced a general abstraction from social expectations.

A loose prologue to my next album, 'theTism' stays true to the impulsivity of my workflow, working on it only when I truly felt like it, and never longer than it took to get my ideas out. There's some rough edges, but my brain has them too ...and that's okay

The album art, an ai rendered image generated with the prompt "stimming as the world decays" was the initial sparking idea that brought this whole album to life, and I think it is a beautiful representation of the variety of ways in which my neurodivergency has manifested, and on a deeper level, shows those colors freely jotting out like lightning.

The backdrop of what seems to be a lush coniferous forest is a familiar setting for me. The hikes in the woods behind my house back home served as one of few places of solace, a safe space for theTism to unmask, unharmed by the expectations of others that kept it masked for so long. It has also been a place of deep musical exploration throughout the past three to four years.

sideation [recurrence mix]

sideation [selfsoothe mix]

sideation [since passed mix]

tidalcycles performative structure built around sideation and introducing smalls bits of miniclip towards the end.

originally performed for rachel’s live-coding class

sideation [unalive-coding mix]

off-album remix done by Boards of Canada themselves

Boards of Canada - Roygbiv (Alpha Quest Mix)

smh my head {rough}

performed by olas

prod teal x olas

written by jaden caban

in your own decisions, and a deeper realization that everything I do—and
everything done to me—is ultimately my responsibility. It’s all part of becoming who we’re meant to be.

lyrics: pending

up 2 me

quadj3rk - Hallucination

https://radiostudent.si/glasba/modem/modem-221

modem ///221

Credits:

Lyrics by Jaden Caban

Composition by Jaden Caban & Josh Brough

Performed by Olas

Produced by Olas & Josh Brough

Engineered by Jaden Caban & Mark Hacz

Lyrics:

I never listened and I took your presence for granted

No, I didn't listen, I took you for granted

How could I mistake and show up?

By keeping that fire

It's a long ride up

And I still get tongue-tied up

I keep on making decisions that keep

Keeping me tied up

I'll keep it pushing so tomorrow is brighter

Mmmm

Tomorrow is brighter

Mmmm

Tomorrow is brighter

I said wait up

I'll be alright if you'll be alright

You tell me to get your weight up

If you gone go

Please go real slow

Cause I'll go and tell you to wait up

And then you tell me to back up

To get my weight up

I guess enough isn't enough

I said wait up

I'll be alright if you'll be alright

You tell me to get your weight up

If you gone go

Please go real slow

Cause I'll go and tell you to wait up

And then you tell me to back up

To get my weight up

I guess enough isn't enough

And I kept pushing and pushing

While you were waiting and sitting

Oh so patient, it's different

My mind and heart it went missing

If I knew there could be two I'd get my weight up

But in my mind there's only one It's like I gave up

One throne, one phone

Me or you so I gotta choose now

Condone, what's wrong

That's just how I see it through now

And I kept pushing and pushing

While you were waiting and sitting

Oh so patient, it's different

My mind and heart it went missing

Wait up

I'll be alright if you'll be alright

You tell me to get your weight up

If you gone go

Please go real slow

Cause I'll go and tell you to wait up

And then you tell me to back up

To get my weight up

I guess enough isn't enough

last one best one

enough isn't enough

Credits:

Lyrics by Jaden Caban

Composition by Jaden Caban, Brian Wedderburn, Ryan Whitney

Performed by Olas

Produced by Olas, Brian Wedderburn

Engineered by Jaden Caban & Mark Hacz

Lyrics:

No I don't know what it is

I think we got a problem here

I think it's something I did

Before your teeth disappear

So all I wanna know

Will it be fine so I can let go?

Yeah, I've been wondering why it kills me slow, yeah

That's why I Ask

Why did I, why did I, why did I

Why did I go and dance on a tightrope?

I danced on a tightrope

I never looked down, what the hell do I know?

Dance on a tightrope

I danced on a tightrope

I think I

Just broke Andy

Messing around

Just too tempting

All I wanna know

Is can I make it right?

Cause when you're with me, it'll be fine

It's the same damn question I get every time

I didn't even realize

So all I wanna know

Will it be fine so I can let go?

Yeah, I've been wondering why it kills me slow, yeah

That's why I Ask

Why did I, why did I, why did I

Why did I go and dance on a tightrope?

I danced on a tightrope

I never looked down, what the hell do I know?

Dance on a tightrope

Why did I go and dance on a tightrope?

I danced on a tightrope

I never looked down, what the hell do I know?

Dance on a tightrope

sideation [since passed mix]

RUBY

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