by this moment in the piece, once the narrator has set the scene, I feel it would be so nice to have more of a radio play scene, where we actually meet a character and hear their voice, hear their world.

yeah this is a good scene, it would be ripe for theatricalizing, instead of relying exclusively on the narrator. I think this piece would shine more if it moved beyond the book-on-tape sound and alternated literary narration with more dialogue, sonic-scene setting, and naturalism

I agree with adam, needs more theatrics/ sound effects

maybe you could put an effect on this so it sounds like a choir of kids pledging in a classroom

Great music choice!! keep it for longer, maybe?

The narration is great, but I agree with other comments, I think you need more sound in the middle section, especially since the intro and the ending are so sound-rich

I love the voice you chose to read this story. I wonder how it would be if you played with the sound of his voice, though. The line “perfect as perfect gets” is so eerie and you could try to make it jump out more by playing with EQ/reverb 

Oshi- My plug is Hispanic

"Illegal Tints" ft. Hemlock Ernst & produced by Blockhead. Mixed by Willie Green.

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Billy Woods - Illegal Tints Ft. Hemlock Ernst

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