First Jubiltribute song ever. Features members of Ten Tigers and Troy Walsh.

Jubilation

Classic wank-rock tribute to the alleyway between G-Man and Funtastik, easily the most treacherous and lustful location at all of Jubilee Day.

Den Of The Wildcat

A tune dedicated to the last row of the Mechanicsburg High School parking lot, a distant land of fierce pain, thick smoke, cheap beer and sharp metal--the legendary lane of the Hessian.

Hessian Row

A classic good vs evil fantasy tale, Flight tells the story of Conqueror, a golden-robed viking who rains lightning upon the wicked from atop an ancient Iron Eagle. His ultimate adversary, the Dark Wolf Emporer, is a bloodless hellion from the land of the damned, spawned upon this world with the sole mission of thwarting Conqueror. On Jubilee Day 2013, the ultimate battle commenced, Conqueror conquered the Wolf and Mechanicsburg was saved.

Flight Of The Conqueror

THE LAW OF THE CREEK

“The Rope Swing? Broken bottles, shards of glass, dead & discarded fish, fishing line, rusty hooks, an endless array of beer and soda cans, juice boxes, thermoses, plastic bags, food containers, fast food wrappers, coolers, tarps, flip-flops, shirts, pants, dirty diapers, dogs roaming off-leash, defecating on your property, chasing family pets and livestock, people screaming endless obscenities at property owners minding their own business.”

(PENNLIVE READER COMMENT FROM A YELLOW BREECHES HOMEOWNER)

Roughly one mile downstream from Messiah College, just before the old iron bridge on Bishop Road, a giant Sycamore tree hangs high and far across the Yellow Breeches creek. A series of eight crooked wooden planks are haphazardly nailed to its trunk. On its largest and longest branch are fraying knots of thick, faded, sailing cord. Until May 2015, this was the Rope Swing, a legendary Mechanicsburg thrill attraction that for nearly thirty years launched thousands of screaming tubers into the cold and muddy waters of the Breeches.

During the early 90’s, the area around the Rope Swing developed a highly contested perch, a worn and war torn spot atop a steep limestone wall on the eastern shore of the creek. Over countless Summers, this lookout was occupied continuously by the Hessians, a group that to this day is still rumored to rule all local tubing waters. For those not versed in Mechanicsburg folklore, the Hessians, known to some as Creek Pirates, are an indigenous hierarchy of metalheads, thrashers and headbangers who typically congregate along the shores of the Yellow Breeches in packs of six to eight individuals.

Hessians can often be found scaling large creek-rock formations while holding coolers of beer, multiple packs of cigarettes, deafening boom boxes and giant floatation devices. While at rest, they generally dwell amongst the creek’s dirt cliffs and tree tops, chugging beer while urinating, rolling joints, blasting cassette tapes and shout-singing. Strangely, Hessians are rarely seen actually tubing, though those who have seen them report that Hessians somehow travel against the current, which is to say, they tube upstream.

During last year’s tubing season, due to delinquent behavior like never before, including massive vandalism, destruction of trees and constant littering, the Rope Swing was cut down. The entire vicinity of the Rope Swing is now roped off, covered in No Trespassing signs, and constantly monitored on video. Many locals blame the Hessians, but truth is, a true Hessian would never treat the creek in such a manner. While yes, true Hessians do indeed rage out and party on the creek like terrifying, feral aborigines, they always do so without leaving a trace of man-made waste or pollution. In fact, after the Rope Swing fell, fewer and fewer true Hessians were to be found along the waters of the Yellow Breeches.

Over the years, Mechanicsburg has suffered the deep loss of many great friends and town icons—classmates, coaches, bands, bars, family-owned restaurants and businesses, and recently, our town’s last massive plot of undeveloped farm land. Sadly, the Rope Swing and the Hessians seem to have joined this sizeable list of fallen local legends. Thankfully, many treasured generational homesteads and traditions do remain in our town, as well as the deep and powerful ideological roots of the Hessian lifestyle, a culture forever embedded in the soil of Mechanicsburg itself. And rest assured, as long as the waters of the Yellow Breeches run cold and muddy, no legend of Mechanicsburg will ever be forgotten.

UPDATE

As Jubilee Day grows near, a legendary event some refer to as Mechanicsburg Mardis Gras or Hessian Christmas, tuber reports indicate a stunning resurgence in the Breeches Hessian population, and although the original Rope Swing remains closed, Hessians are said to have constructed new swings nearby, at double the height of the original!

The Law Of The Creek

THE LAW OF THE CREEK

“The Rope Swing? Broken bottles, shards of glass, dead & discarded fish, fishing line, rusty hooks, an endless array of beer and soda cans, juice boxes, thermoses, plastic bags, food containers, fast food wrappers, coolers, tarps, flip-flops, shirts, pants, dirty diapers, dogs roaming off-leash, defecating on your property, chasing family pets and livestock, people screaming endless obscenities at property owners minding their own business.”

- PENNLIVE READER COMMENT FROM A YELLOW BREECHES HOMEOWNER

Roughly one mile downstream from Messiah College, just before the old iron bridge on Bishop Road, a giant Sycamore tree hangs high and far across the Yellow Breeches creek. A series of eight crooked wooden planks are haphazardly nailed to its trunk. On its largest and longest branch are fraying knots of thick, faded, sailing cord. Until May 2015, this was the Rope Swing, a legendary Mechanicsburg thrill attraction that for nearly thirty years launched thousands of screaming tubers into the cold and muddy waters of the Breeches.

During the early 90’s, the area around the Rope Swing developed a highly contested perch, a worn and war torn spot atop a steep limestone wall on the eastern shore of the creek. Over countless Summers, this lookout was occupied continuously by the Hessians, a group that to this day is still rumored to rule all local tubing waters. For those not versed in Mechanicsburg folklore, the Hessians, known to some as Creek Pirates, are an indigenous hierarchy of metalheads, thrashers and headbangers who typically congregate along the shores of the Yellow Breeches in packs of six to eight individuals.

Hessians can often be found scaling large creek-rock formations while holding coolers of beer, multiple packs of cigarettes, deafening boom boxes and giant floatation devices. While at rest, they generally dwell amongst the creek’s dirt cliffs and tree tops, chugging beer while urinating, rolling joints, blasting cassette tapes and shout-singing. Strangely, Hessians are rarely seen actually tubing, though those who have seen them report that Hessians somehow travel against the current, which is to say, they tube upstream.

During last year’s tubing season, due to delinquent behavior like never before, including massive vandalism, destruction of trees and constant littering, the Rope Swing was cut down. The entire vicinity of the Rope Swing is now roped off, covered in No Trespassing signs, and constantly monitored on video. Many locals blame the Hessians, but truth is, a true Hessian would never treat the creek in such a manner. While yes, true Hessians do indeed rage out and party on the creek like terrifying, feral aborigines, they always do so without leaving a trace of man-made waste or pollution. In fact, after the Rope Swing fell, fewer and fewer true Hessians were to be found along the waters of the Yellow Breeches.

Over the years, Mechanicsburg has suffered the deep loss of many great friends and town icons—classmates, coaches, bands, bars, family-owned restaurants and businesses, and recently, our town’s last massive plot of undeveloped farm land. Sadly, the Rope Swing and the Hessians seem to have joined this sizeable list of fallen local legends. Thankfully, many treasured generational homesteads and traditions do remain in our town, as well as the deep and powerful ideological roots of the Hessian lifestyle, a culture forever embedded in the soil of Mechanicsburg itself. And rest assured, as long as the waters of the Yellow Breeches run cold and muddy, no legend of Mechanicsburg will ever be forgotten.

UPDATE

As Jubilee Day grows near, a legendary event some refer to as Mechanicsburg Mardis Gras or Hessian Christmas, tuber reports indicate a stunning resurgence in the Breeches Hessian population, and although the original Rope Swing remains closed, Hessians are said to have constructed new swings nearby, at double the height of the original!


The Law Of The Creek (INTRO)

A Beastie Boys style Jubilee Day rap narrative by Mechanicsburg hesh-rock collective Wyldkatt, featuring Poison. Take a day-long musical journey through the beautiful, filthy, drunken hessian mess that is Jubilee Day, the East Coast's largest one day street fair.

Main St. Mardi Gras (feat. Posion)

Wyldkatt
The "Gnash Gnarl and Gnaw" LP
June 2017 via Iron Loincloth Records

Wyldkatt is a devastation wank-rock collective of Central PA death metal behemoths.

Wyldkatt

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