Xavier - voice, guitar, bass guitar
Robert - drums & percussion, djembe

music written by Xavier "Abysmal" and Robert Alonzo
lyrics written by Xavier "Abysmal"

Ego Death

Xavier - voice, loops
Jack - sound manipulation

music written by Xavier "Abysmal" and Jack Tellmann 
lyrics written by Xavier "Abysmal"

The Burning Abyss

Xavier - voice, guitar, bass guitar, drum programming, loops

music and lyrics written by Xavier "Abysmal"

Helen Keller [studio edit]

Xavier - voice, congas
Samuel - guitar
Maxwell - bass guitar
Robert - drums & percussion

music written by committee, mostly impromptu
lyrics written by Xavier "Abysmal"

Nothingsong (Worship The Void)

•track 2 of Suiphobia
•instrumentation tracked mid-late 2020 
•voice tracked November 2021
•demo for (in progress) album version

musical credits:
Xavier, "The Red Haired Stranger" - voice, high range PVC flute, slide whistle
Cannon Hyche - bass guitar
Tyler Hyde - drums & percussion

Internalized Ableism [2021 demo]

•track 1 of Suiphobia
•tracked sporadically from 2020-2021
•demo for (in progress) compilation

musical credits:
Xavier, "The Red Haired Stranger" - lead voice, high range PVC flute, Chickasaw double barreled bass flute, slide whistle, Irish tin whistle, 3 string bass guitar, found sounds, loops, drum programming
Laura Kay - backing voice 

Friendship Is Like Food [2021 demo]

Xavier - voice, Irish tin whistle, high range PVC flute, drum programming, lyric and music composition, layout
tracked late 2021

El Árbol De La Vida [2022 demo]

Xavier, "The Red Haired Stranger" - voice, high range PVC flute, middle range "wild cat" Navajo flute, 3 string bass guitar, drum programming

Tracked and pre-mixed by Xavier Boyd spring 2022
Mixed and mastered by Ben Mendez (BendeZ) June 2022

Child Stability (Tears Of The Ocean Bearer) [Bendez mix]

Originally tracked and engineered spring of 2022 by the red haired stranger, during the year of the tiger, then edited and remixed by Benjamin Mendez summer 2022, and in January 2023, the year of Jistu the trickster rabbit, edited and remixed again by the red haired stranger. There is currently a competition in the Astral realm of who can remix my song to sound the most spooky, in order to ward off evil spirits such as Elon Musk.

Child Stability (Tears Of The Ocean Bearer) [2023 Xavierian mix]

[Trigger warning for sexual trauma]

Celebrating the interval between summer and autumn and marking the Celtic day of Lughnasadh, this demo explores further in the unconscious to find hidden treasures amongst the decay. Through symbols of alchemy as well as Greeco-Roman, Hebrew, Hindu, and First Nations mythology, this song delves into more dreams and visions regarding unprocessed suffering and follows the snaking, mercurial path running through the Nigredo state, finding to my surprise, that it leads not merely to more suffering; instead, it leads to a transformation into deeper self understanding and empowerment, not in overcoming, but through the putrefaction of continually surviving a rape culture. It teaches us that we are all the stronger because of what we have been through, and there is nothing about our anger in itself that is meant to be transcended, rather it is meant to be held, validated, and supported, in the same way that survivors need to be. This is also an ode to my mother who is a survivor of this and human trafficking, and all other survivors across the cosmos. We are continuously told that it is us who are at fault, while our abusers are given a slap on the wrist at most and excuses and justifications at worst. It has taken too long to comprehend that we do not deserve this at all, and it is an entirely backwards social system that is the perpetrator of our confusion and self loathing. We, the endurers of anathema, have, in fact, not only ourselves to blame after all. It is actually blame that is the source problem. Listen to the heart, to the wounded child inside you, and you will find a liberation like nothing words can justify. 
Recorded and engineered summer 2023 by The Ocean Bearer. Additionally, this is a celebration of life for my best friend and dog who passed away in late May, of which the cover art is depicting. He was a vital element in learning to accept and love myself, flaws and everything combined. He loved me unconditionally, and a hole has been left in my chest where I cannot share my love for him directly anymore. I owe so much to him, and he will forever live on through me. Long live Danny Kroberger Boyd (2010-2023).

La Bête Noir (Behind The Wheel Of Becoming) [2023 demo]

Neurodivergent, interdisciplinary performance art howling at you from the putrefactive bowels of the Bible Belt since 2009. Born and based in Nashville, Tennessee.

Heart Of The Bereaved

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