18. decoding sprit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOB6anHdi3A

sorrow

ａｍｅｔｈｙｓｔ　ｄｒｅａｍｓ

ｖａｓｔ

The Flying City of Audapaupadopolis

Just bought an mk2 to have stg to flex with. 

fir$st

Shambhala

StartHere

injijo - just friends - soundcloud version

just friends

1. DO U
2. as simple as it is
3. sad
4. its me who inspires me
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i feel like i have my life back after many years of not knowing why i ever wanted to be alive in the first place. might even be the first time ive ever really felt like i know why i want to live. i chose to be so complacent with myself and shit i chose to avoid. when those things became unavoidable i ran to weed and alcohol as this superficial solution to it all. that led to addiction and a disassociation of my own memories, which became my escape from trauma i hold from my childhood. ive lost so much because of making the choice to drink it all away. only after almost a year of stepping away from alcohol im finally beginning to realize what ive lost.
 just felt so fucking lost for so many months, and i didn't care. i had people to help but i pushed them all away because of my own pride. pride that had no base. i just didn't give enough of a shit about myself or how others felt around me to change. but i get it now. i know what i need to do for myself to change. im sick of living in the past, sick of personifying the trauma i have, sick of ignoring family and friends, sick of demoralizing myself for the sake of keeping shit the same. i wanna change, i want to be better. so im gonna choose to move on from it all. so i can start to live again, learn to appreciate what i have still. understand and accept the shit ill never get back. jus wanna be me again, despite it all.

People Wont Be People

zachedelic - 2023_08_20

Unrequited

The Flying City of Audapaupadopolis

delt

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