(prod. jolst)
feat @notcursed

(vacant)
i never thought id be away from you
your miles away
id drop everything for you
to see your face
id never be late
never be a day
where i dont fall back inlove with you

you ease my pain
my panic attacks they go away
just stay
dont have to be sad again
when your away
i need you in the same place

just stay
just stay
just stay

we can stare at the stars
even when we're apart
you know its just us
my heads been at war
let me pull you close
for this noise to stop
coz ive been hurt myself
paranoid its hell
and i never needed no help
coz your what helps
i feel so selfish

i never thought id be away from you
your miles away
id drop everything for you
to see your face
id never be late
never be a day
where i dont fall back inlove with you 

you ease my pain
my panic attacks they go away
just stay
dont have to be sad again
when your away
i need you in the same place

just stay
just stay
just stay

i never thought id be away from you
your miles away
id drop everything for you
to see your face
id never be late
never be a day
where i dont fall back inlove with you

(not cursed)

Wish i could stay
And even though we’re miles away
I miss the days
You helped me through your pain
But now i’m too far out
Baby don't you even doubt
I still want you forever
I could never be without
Missing the way, you smile at my face
Brighten up my day, but now i have to wait
To see you, counting down the days till it'll be true
I’m waiting too long
Being away from you for this long, it feels so wrong
By my side is where you should be, that's where you belong
Need you everyday
I’m thinking of ways, to reach you

(vacant)
i never thought id be away from you
your miles away
id drop everything for you
to see your face
id never be late
never be a day
where i dont fall back inlove with you

stay (w/ notcursed) (jolst)

Let me be a misfit smoking every hour 
Hate me like I’m mizkif ‘ lonely at the top
She be on some witch shit, suck me for hours 
You know that I’m different

Let me be a misfit smoking every hour 
Hate me like I’m mizkif ‘ lonely at the tower 
She be on some witch shit, suck me for hours 
You know that I’m different please give me flowers 

Let me be a misfit smoking every hour 
Hate me like I’m mizkif ‘ lonely at the tower 
She be on some witch shit, suck me for hours 
You know that I’m different please give me flowers 

You know that I’m different just be honest 
I swear that my cries will always be the loudest 
Xanning on the front porch 
What I’m good for 
Did this all to myself 
Internet star 

It’s so hard to say but I gotta go 
Kissing on ur cheek, stepping on ur toes 
Remember Halloween party 2019
What you called me 
Still haunts me 

Is it too late to make amends 
Still feel your hands rubbing on my chest 
still remember all the tears shed 
Yeah I wept but I won’t break 
Tripping over words you say 
Empty thoughts, staying up late 
So alone but I won’t break 

Let me be a misfit smoking outside 
Hate me like mizkif and every other guy 
She be on some witch shit, evil in her eyes 
You that I’m different please let me strive 

Wish it was different let’s be honest 
I swear it’s so hard to try to modest 
Xanning on the front porch 
While it pours 
I did this all to myself 
Fuck a costar

Internet Star ⭐️(Prod.Nadiak)

i’m in the dirt like a shovel try me turn u into rubble
baby i’m not worth the trouble, hate me, she still tryna cuddle
lately i been on my lover shit, stuttering and stumbling
ur the only one imma let call me by my government

scarred exterior the insides are rotten
8 speed too fast she said i’m the problem
black coupe sliding down ur block like it’s gotham
ruby red seats like my shoes in the bottom

every time a night ends i want it to go on
got a lot of vices but ur number one
lacing up my nikes running from ur love
running from ur love, baby girl i run it up
cold heart girl the summers up
but i feel like god whenever i’m under ya
midnight warm skin like the sun is up
bring me to life one touch is enough

talk to me nice or don’t talk to me at all
i don’t wanna fight baby i just wanna ball
pretty perfect eyes and she looking like a doll
how’d u end up here w me i’m a stray dog

i’m in the dirt like a shovel try me turn u into rubble
baby i’m not worth the trouble, hate me, she still tryna cuddle
lately i been on my lover shit, stuttering and stumbling
ur the only one imma let call me by my government

scarred exterior the insides are rotten
8 speed too fast she said i’m the problem
black coupe sliding down ur block like it’s gotham
ruby red seats like my shoes in the bottom

she treat my attention like a treat
i just had to hit it so she play me on repeat
if u ain’t my brother i don’t wanna hear ur beat
came up from the gutter now it’s lv on my sneak

she treat my attention like a treat
i just had to hit it so she play me on repeat
if u ain’t my brother i don’t wanna hear ur beat
came up from the gutter now it’s lv on my sneak

netherite2031 (ertu x flesh)

i want you
i want you

say it with chest i feel the tension
for us
hold that again and dont let it go 
no

coz i want you
all of you
i want you

i feel your heart its racing
so many stars so ill say this
a angel came from heaven and told me about you
so hold on
dont you got anywhere w/o me
coz i wont lose you
holding your soul so holy
im there for you

for you
for you
for you
for you

a angel came down from heaven and told me about you (neverforever)

lyrics

omg omg 
its a lot
say im fine
swear im fine
but im not
tie my hands
close the door
engage the locks
ik u love me cuz u keep me in ur closet
this the knife
that u put
in my lung
this the time
u had kept me 
on my own
keep my close
leave me chained to ur bed
luv the way
u had messed
w my head

closed doors get knocked down theres no one there
problems i got em but i wont share
deep down im damaged but you wont care
somehow i manage it isnt fair
omg omg can you hear me
i get lost in my own fucking feelings
omg omg can you feel me
im the ghost in your walls hear me breathing

omg omg 
its a lot
say im fine
swear im fine
but im not
tie my hands
close the door
engage the locks
ik u love me cuz u keep me in ur closet
this the knife
that u put
in my lung
this the time
u had kept me 
on my own
keep my close
leave me chained to ur bed
luv the way
u had messed
w my head

stockholm syndrome ft 20ofive (tiedforsilver x st4rscream)

I really need you right now 
I’m sorry if I ever let you down 
Feel the words pursing from my mouth 
Can’t get the words coming out 

I really need you right now 
I’m sorry if I ever let you down 
Feel the words pursing from my mouth 
Can’t get the words coming out 

Yeah it’s true that I miss you 
I write it down in my notepad 
yet you know this and you know that
Because I’m prying for you to notice 
I sit alone like yet again 
Staring at your instagram 
I hate this ‘ fucked shit 
Because I can’t face it 

Black suit 
Red wounds 
Black heart 
I’m bad news 
You know that 
Don’t hold back 
Just diss me in your notes app

I really need you right now 
I’m sorry if I ever let you down 
Feel the words pursing from my mouth 
Can’t get the words coming out 

I really need you right now 
I’m sorry if I ever let you down 
Feel the words pursing from my mouth 
Can’t get the words coming out

Notes App (Prod.Aureola)

lyrics

why dont u come around
i spent weeks unlike myself
i cant be someone else
with me stuck in this shell
burning up
i been stuck
gimme luv
drain my blood

i can’t even think for myself
why do u jus put me on a shelf
i wont save u from what u brought on urself
hold me while the ice melts

floral pattern tablecloth
torn to shreds and ripped apart
bleeding thru the gauze
tell me whats the cause

im not a savior
and im not your help
i want to save her
but it wuldnt go well

im not a savior
and im not your help
i want to save her
but it wuldnt go well

AVXiD - burnt at the stake (prod. tiedforsilver x sorrowbringer)

https://open.spotify.com/album/3iYeake3rKTGyRQUSpJZTt?si=Kb1AZGm9Sj6EYugoOrWKDg

lyrics:
I’m in so much fucking pain 
I thought no one would notice 
You can find me in lake
I been floating by the lotus 
I would rip my heart out of my chest 
An say here hold this
She said exactly how I felt
Like how would you know this
I was looking at the 
Broken up side walk kicking my boots 
Tripped an I busted my ribs off the roots
I seen a half black cat staring at me from the roof
I was looking at the 
Broken up side walk kicking my boots 
Tripped an I busted my ribs off the roots
I seen a half black cat staring at me from the roof
Double zipped pack 
smoked n pass inside the group 
Trouble stabbed me in the back 
I Got gassed when she swooped
I’m in so much fucking pain 
I thought no one would notice 
You can find me in lake
I been floating by the lotus 
I would rip my heart out of my chest 
An say here hold this
She said exactly how I felt
Like how would you know this
I was looking at the 
Broken up side walk kicking my boots

lotus

then, i saw myself

a collection of songs that you maybe will see yourself in

dedicated to rose and onlyfriend, two people that see in me what i can't always see myself

huge thank you to shizukesa for providing a beautiful verse on revisionist

thank you for listening

revisionist (feat shizukesa) [prod surp]

I can't feel love

lyrics:
I don't think love was for me
Even if they said it
Even if they meant it
Home is where the fire is
look into my iris
I'll be runnin from the flames
run me down I'll go insane
she had raise me up
just to shut me down again
how you call yourself a friend
if you plannin out the fuckin end
just to much to think I might shut down again (edited)

bitch if you call now I'd leave it unheard
send a text I'd leave it unread
unread, ongod.
I'm going home, I'm killin time
trace veins on skin of mine
it's fine
it's only ever a thought
but I could be convinced
like persuade me persuade me
I wanna die baby
and as of lately
I've been feeling pressure on my back
I can feel that pressure and I might crack

cause fuck I tried but it wasn't enough

I don't think love was for me
Even if they said it
Even if they meant it
Home is where the fire is
look into my iris
I'll be runnin from the flames
run me down I'll go insane
she had raise me up
just to shut me down again
how you call yourself a friend
if you plannin out the fuckin end
just to much to think I might shut down again

I Cant Feel <3 (prod. Wetmall)

It was a pleasure to work with cray on this, love this song.
(prod. sadface)

**lyrics**
(me)
You can hate me
You can hate me
You can hate me all you want, I'll still give you my heart

I gave you all that I had
Been like 6 months but im grieving the past
I know where you're going, you know where i'm at
Pretend I don't see it, I can't face the facts

Now every song just been sounding the same
They're all about you or describing the pain
Sifting through letters & needless to say, I'm mentally prone to these kinds of mistakes

Looking into all my thoughts & my actions
Hella reminiscent i've been living in the past tense
Well at least I had my fun while it lasted
Screaming in the mirror, pick out everything i'm lacking 

Back then you remember we were laughing?
Every time I gotta mess it up its automatic
Tragic, I witnessed everything that happened
Hate the way I cope 'cause its been getting problematic

(yungcray)
Girl I don't like this, woke up in my room I'm the highest
I said I'm so weak but bro I'm trying
everyday's the same but you don't mind it
i don't like this though

lets take a step back can we go back to what we was
lets let the time pass, think about all the things we could
i cant help but cry when I'm stuck up in this dark maze
you were the drug, now here comes all the heartache

(me)
I gave you all that I had
Been like 6 months but im grieving the past
I know where you're going, you know where i'm at
Pretend I don't see it, I can't face the facts

Now every song just been sounding the same
They're all about you or describing the pain
Sifting through letters & needless to say, I'm mentally prone to these kinds of mistakes

all that i had w/ yungcray

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎
‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏
‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‎‏ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎@4EVER-Collective

lotus

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