Melting In U

For some reason I always feel like Europop sounds like battle music, so I wanted to take the corniest song of the genre (Smile- Butterfly) and lean into that concept as much as I can.

So it's like, let's take this fucking butterfly, give him a bunch of weapons and armor, and flip the idea of a fantastical fae perceived as dainty and innocent into a rugged warrior. It's about that guardian angel that watches over all of us. 

Trans rights.

Butterfly Combat Guardian

Finity

The title is my typical response to the age-old pleasantry, "how are you doing?"

idfk dude,  fine? Worse now that you asked me that fucking travesty of a question? 

Would you be asking that if it wasn't socially pounded into your head your entire life? 

My life feels so fast these days that

Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed

I'm always insecure about how easy, fast, and undeserved I fall in love with somebody. It's so natural for me to mask my insecurities with the pursuit of romantic relationships, in which I become clingy and always put myself second. For a moment these interactions can feel like fulfillment, but always inevitably leave me more lonely and stuck than before. 

Cheap Love

This samples Injury Reserve - Superman That, one of my favorite songs off one of my favorite albums. I resonate with the radical acceptance of one's own fate, and both the serene peace and jittery uneasiness that comes with that acceptance. It's a morbid song that I wanted to make bouncy and danceable :)



No Saving Me Or U

Anxiety is a two sided coin. On one end, depicted in the song before, there is the muffled roar of the things that may or may not ever happen. On the other, depicted here, is the tension felt during very real moments of pain and stress. Our instincts kick in, we run or bargain or fight back, desperate to subdue the terror. 

Eventually the moment subsides, but it never leaves us. 

Crush Depth, Pt. 2

Anxiety can be crushing. You can be sitting in a desk and feeling like you stepped in the path of an oncoming bus. We have the ability to rationalize our fears of the future, and mull them over with such scrutiny that we give ourselves chrobic pain and headaches and eating disorders.

The poem poorly sang in the beginning is one I would find I would sing to myself in times where I was both competely alone and in total despair.

"I am not that strong baby
I think I need to be carried
I cannot think or see or breathe
don't wait up for me"

XEN_BB

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