HE DIED FOR OUR SINS THANK U MINION BOB!!!!!!!!!!!

blower p shwmeutry

T.A.L.K ft. aprils (prod. shyguymadeit)

remember when i cared?

everything by me

@heyskawt
ion wanna be ur gf
bitch i wanna be ur god
ion wanna be ur gf
ill be something that im not
dont want nothing new no, just want something else
dont know what to do no, sorting out myself
ill just be a goddess, ill just be a god
ill just be a goddess, ill just be a god

god dont love me or my friends cuz i aint got a family
ill worship myself cuz i know that i got a plan for me
ur the only one that ever rlly was there for me
so ill be ur goddess, talk now, speak carefully 
yea im sure i wanna do this, yes ik
its been on my mind yea, set in stone
no i wouldnt have it any other way
its what i deserve no, its me fate
whats wrong with u
why u look like that
ion need a man to tell me how to act
ion need no one to tell me what to do
i’ll never admit that i miss u

goddess [skawt]

Credits:\\
produced by: (grayskies)
featuring: @9blare & @1crusafix
written on 08/04/2022
sorry for the horrible mix on this one

Entry:\\
a song about mental illness...
some fabricated, some not...
i hate how my brain works...
i don't think she likes me...
if she does, i know i won't hurt her...
because these feelings are genuine...
i can't see them ever fading...

Lyrics:\\
[Intro]
I’ll leave you hurting, not on purpose
Say I don’t care, then I come back and I’m flirting, but it's confusing

[Chorus]
It’s confusing, cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I cant fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this? 
Cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I can’t fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this? 

[Verse]
I’ma drag you through the dirt
Yeah, I’ma make you hurt
I’ma tell you that I’m sorry and that we can make it work
I’ma let you know you’re worth 
I’ma tell you that I’ve learned
When you forgive me, then I’ma treat you ten times worse
I’m toxic, but I can’t help it
I got BPD and I’m selfish
And all these meds in me, they ain’t helping
So, girl, you can’t fix me, it’s just who I am

[Bridge]
I’ll leave you hurting, not on purpose
Say I don’t care, then I come back and I’m flirting 
But it's confusing

[Chorus]
Cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I can’t fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this? 
Cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I can’t fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this? 

[@9blare]
Why we always end up right back at the start?
You were running 'round my head, and now my heart
Memories fading away they all feel so far
And you always run away whenever things get hard
I lost it, my brains like a moshpit
You know I can’t stand it, so I just drown it out with toxins
You’re awfully quiet, I’m sensing the violence
See the hate in your eyes, now I’m alarming the sirens

[Bridge]
I’ll leave you hurting, not on purpose
Say I don’t care, then I come back and I’m flirting
But it's confusing

[Chorus]
Cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I can’t fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this? 
Cause one minute I like and the next you’re a nuisance
This happens every time, I don’t wanna put you through it
I’m fucked up in the head or maybe I’m really stupid
Cause I can’t fall in love, so, tell me why do I do this?

[@1crusafix]
Now I'm stuck inside a cycle
You say you love me, where did your lies go?
Now I'm living on the edge of a tight rope
Now you're yelling and screaming that I should go home
Yeah, you always took advantage 
I don't wanna lie, baby, I've been super manic
You don't wanna talk to me, I understand it
I don't wanna talk you

nuisance w/ blare & 1crusafix

Enemy (prod.siemspark)

This song means a lot to me

Lyrics:

It's been so long, but girl we've made it far
I got a broken heart, yeah girl you mean a lot
baby I'm sorry for what I've done, had me thinking that you were the one. 
Now I'm crying because everything's falling apart, everything's falling apart.
Right from the start... I knew you'd break my heart
Why do I have to die? Think about you all night
Heading towards the end, the end of the year
I don't really want you, to disappear because I love...
baby I love you inside.. No I don't wanna die.

Falling Apart (prod. dudejeremiah)

Damage (prod. thislandis)

Lyrics:

(hook)
bitch fucking with me but she really nice though
got a lot of songs talk about a lot of hoes
why these motherfuckers fake talkin they my foes
if you mothafucking fake then you gotta go
yeah my fists bitch they do a lot of damage
I'm a fighter so you know that's an advantage
nigga pulled up on me challenged me to fight woah
leave him in the streets nigga need a bandage
(verse)
she don't know what I'm going through
her pretty shiny eyes, reveal her lies
she's gonna make me cry
I know she isn't worth it, but the voices they think different
baby, I don't think I'll be alright 
I never wanna say goodbye
lay down and sigh, while I look up at the sky
can't believe you're with another guy
fuck these fake ass niggas talkin shit behind my back
why you tryna play me I knew you'd do that

Damage (prod. thislandis)

AROUND ME

RING RING (prod.triazo)

C-Note luhali prod. 1ntcart

LAVENDERTOWNCORE
disc: xenxar (for features and opens)
my gmail: xenxarmusic@gmail.com

Enemy (prod.siemspark)

xenxar

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