stuff i worked on

mix/master by @xexiomusic
ft @stat
prod @symels1 @1luvpurp

shopping spree w/ jovan (symels luvpurp)

prod @jannahsent
mix @xexiomusic

cry to you like why
girl i know u lie
hit ur phone i'll try
ur a star in my sky
block me now i wanna die
what do i do without u in my life
idk what to do 
all i think about is u

i see u in my dreams
sometimes u make me scream
u stitch up all my seams
write about u in my diary
girl u really changed me 
u make me feel perfectly
how could u do it to me
didn't know u wanna lose me
girl i need u come here
i'm writing to u, my dear
yea i see ur cuts and i see all those tears
i looked through ur phone, figured out you never tell the truth
girl u know i love u true
hard pill to swallow
in my tears i wallow
baby ur an angel
yea i see ur halo
please kill me if u need to
i promise that i'll miss u

the letter u never read (jannah)

Leave w/ Ulter (YG ON DA BEAT)

mix @xexiomusic
prod @prodmamoru

the persona that u put up's been fading
now i know the real u and i hate it :(
scratch my skin up baby leave me bites
i look at u and cry
i just don't know why we fight
rip my heart out on the floor
leave me there to bleed but i'm still begging for more

leave me there to bleed
got me on my knees
i was begging for ur text, now i'm just begging for death
see u out with him, yea i know that's why u left
yea left me out for dead
i just want u in my bed
keeps away the stress
i thought you'd never leave yea, yea that's what u said
i'm sorry if i'm acting crazy i forgot my meds

baby won't u comfort me
i just want ur company
hold me close and let me bleed
tell the truth would u die for me?
baby would u cry for me?
cut my wrists i'm doing fine
i love u so much that i throw up

baby i just need ur love
cryin at ur doorstep
i just wish we never met
was i ever enough
i'm sorry, yea i fucked up
rip all of my hair out
cus i'm just craving ur touch

rip my heart out (mamoru)

mix/master @xexiomusic
prod @jannahsent

rip to my bro
i keep going hard for him ima glo
im fallin for u but lets take it slow
im craving ur body u dont even know
i swear this shit so fake
baby ily but ik u hate
cover my mouth with tape
treat me like shit go ruin my day
i wanna die in the rain
she cuttin herself cus all of the pain
tears runnin down my face
u can cry to me i swear its ok
leave me for dead leave without a trace
luvin on him he can take my place
lie to ur friends
i'll take the blame
kill me now
cut through my veins
break me down
leave me for shame
im missin ur touch
do u feel the same

veins (jannah)

mix/master @xexiomusic
prod @abraxusfisher

girl i want u til the end
she gon fuck my best friend
what she said was never meant
cryin in ur arms again
she turnt up in the club now
met her in the background
cut myself i bleed out
ur laugh is my favorite sound
girl i need u stick around

her face full of makeup
now she wanna break up
bite my skin and fuck me up
cut my wrist i cry for u
end my life i'd die for u
fightin with u i can't breathe
ur loves got me on my knees

designer bags and lots of pills
she don't fuck with cheap thrills
for u yea i keep it real
carve me up and make me squeal
hold me close and make me feel
even if u break me down
hold me down and make me drown

hold me down (abraxus)

ft @xexiomusic
mix @xexiomusic
prod @symels1

so down w/ xexio (symels)

my mix @xexiomusic
ft @stat
prod @crusifye

blood on my kicks w/ jovan (pwon)

ft @iloveyelowandmom
my mix @xexiomusic
prod @pw4prez

leaving me w/ nicky (sochi)

ft @xexiomusic
mix @xexiomusic
prod @prodmingus

no more w/ xexio (mingus)

Master @xexiomusic - (Featuring @ulterguy)

Helloing
---------
Shawty i'm fine
Shawty i'm fine
I tell u i'm fine 
then i snort another line
i think about you and i fantasize
lies lies lies 
all you ever tell is lies
look me in my eyes 
and im walking on ice
yea im a junkie 
i need another xan
i dont feel nothing
you wouldnt understand
tell me that you want me
i wanna be your man
yeah i cant feel my face
im a state away
if i was you i'd stay away
---------
Ulter
---------
i want u to feel my pain
everyday just feels the same
bite my neck and shoot my brain
girl u make me feel insane
cut my wrist im so ashamed
i know im the problem
snipers on the roof but i wont stop them

girl i hate myself
i thought i said im sorry
i never thought u could kill me
deep down i know u could never feel me
all i know is pain i knew that u would leave me
cut myself open i'll show u the real me

Lies (ft. Ulter)

prod @laevs
mix @xexiomusic

tell me why ur leaving
tell me why ur grieving
tell me if u mean it
tell me how ur feeling
i hate having to feel shit
why can't u just kill me quick
i know u see my bloody wrist
and i got scars on me
i love the way u make me bleed
kiss me in the backseat
u make me crawl and shoot my feet
im beggin for u on my knees
and u still say that ur done with me
u just can't get enough of me
double cup, ur my lean

girl u left ur hair dye at my house
u say ur fed up with me so u wanna kick me out
im sorry that i have to tell u this, but yes im leaving town
leave with me right now
if i tell u to leave me i promise i dont mean that
i promise i dont mean that girl
i know that im a problem i know im the worst girl
i've got too many problems but u are the worst girl

problems (laevs)

maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore, maybe it never did
but it meant a lot to me
prod @friendly
mix @xexiomusic

lyrics:
i cry to her and she don't wanna know
all that i did and she don't even know
i cut myself when i'm feeling so low
i'm leaving town bae do u wanna go
she don't want me, she want coke on her nose

whenever i call you do not pick it up
ur too high for me u don't wanna stop
and then u get mad cus i don't wanna talk
girl i don't want, to be this way forever
left me cold in #december
girl just stop
u break me down, but it's not enough
i was not enough
u were all i want
in my dreams u haunt
girl we're fucking done

not enough (friendly)

produced by me


lyrics:
@ulterguy:
You were everything i want
So why you always gotta front
I was on the front lines, fighting for your love
Your beauty shines through like a dove
Rip my clothes off
I whine until i cant talk
I get so high i cant walk
throw away the key to my lock
It's that feeling in my chest right
You think he's the best right
Cry my eyes out all night
And now i cut again
I fucked it all up again
You act like we're not more than friends
I remember when i passed u in the hallway
You didn't care but i thought of u all day

@9flare9:
I don’t wanna live
Not that much to give
Feeling like I lost it all
But I don't have shit
It all fell apart
Can we restart?
When we’re apart
I’m way too tired
Then I count to ten
Already feel that I need you again
Don’t say we’re just friends 
Then I fall apart
Would it be different if we pressed restart?
Already feel that I need you again
Don’t say we’re just friends
If were lost in time
Would it be different if we pressed rewind?
Already feel that I need you again

Hallway w/ ulter

vocals - @ulterguy
beat - @user-517884704
mixing & master - @xexiomusic

*lyrics*
why you acting foreign
ima crash the foreign
live my life it's boring
xanax on my tongue, now i'm soaring
but you wanted more of him
carve your name into me
cut myself i bleed broken dreams
why you acting foreign
ima crash the foreign
live my life it's boring
xanax on my tongue, now i'm soaring
but you wanted more of him
carve your name into me
cut myself i bleed broken dreams

and i'll bleed for you like the mona lisa
i will bleed for you
i was dressed in all black
you could  never feel that
drugs in your backpack
how'd you leave me like that

walk out of the door and it's suicide
you tell me not to cry when you leave me like it's do or die
but if i do i'll die
look me in the eye
can't you see i tried
cry my eyes out until they're dry

why you acting foreign
ima crash the foreign
live my life it's boring
xanax on my tongue, now i'm soaring
but you wanted more of him
carve your name into me
cut myself i bleed broken dreams
why you acting foreign
ima crash the foreign
live my life it's boring
xanax on my tongue, now i'm soaring
but you wanted more of him
carve your name into me
cut myself i bleed broken dreams

foreign (prod. høpes)

ft @abraxusfisher
prod @kuranee @prodmamoru
my mix @xexiomusic

dance floor w/ abraxus (kurane & mamoru)

ft @iloveyelowandmom
prod @1revert @glimpseofdespair
my mix @xexiomusic

next to me w/ nicky (revert sentencc)

prod @1revert
mix @xexiomusic

lyrics:
i fall apart when i'm in love
break myself to feel ur touch
feel this weight all in my gut
i need help i'm off these drugs
u don't love me u just lust
u don't love me u just lust
u don't love me u just lust
i been feeling low again
so i grab my knife and cut
so i slice, slice, slice away my life
hide my wrist i hide this knife
bloody tears and bloody scars
fly away and take me far
i guess i'll die alone tonight
and i hate the way we always fight
burn my flesh turn out the light
to tell the truth im not alright
i just wanna feel ur lips
with my hands up on ur hips
but instead i feel like shit
u don't love me girl i get it
how can u be so cruel i wonder if u regret it
u used to say u love me but i don't think that u meant it
so i guess that i'll just forget it
i'll wait for death and count the seconds

i fall apart when i'm in love
break myself to feel ur touch
feel this weight all in my gut
i need help i'm off these drugs
u don't love me u just lust
u don't love me u just lust
u don't love me u just lust :(

fall apart (revert)

prod @rpsu
mix @xexiomusic

girl i know that u don't ever wanna see me again
give me one more chance and i'll be there until the end
if all is lost girl u can leave me for dead
all my life girl all i ever wanted was a friend
and i don't get why u always gotta do this to me
and u act like i'm stupid girl u play for the other team
i'll give u the whole world girl just tell me what u wanna be
and tell me what u need from me

i don't know why
i feel so lost
when ur not by my side
i'll beg one more time
just don't leave me tonight
put my hands around ur waist
do i make u feel safe
i know u don't want me and i swear that's okay
i'm filled with regret yea i'm lost in my ways
i should've known that you'd treat me the same

until the end (adrien)

Made 3ish months ago

with https://soundcloud.com/ulterguy

Me:

Said I’m through
I always lose 
I fall apart
Leaving my room
I hate patience
But I can’t say it
So I just show it
Why try and fake it

No where to run to
Where you’re the real you 
I say “nah it’s cool”
Its what I thought she’d do 

Who felt it first?
I’d Beg her to stop
But it’d make it worse 

She’d say, 
Oh what would she say
That I’m too cheesy
I’m always thinking 
There’s something wrong
There’s something missing 
When we’d be kissing
I’d close my eyes before we touched
I’d always text her first
She’d say it’s a gift and curse
That she’d usually find me crying, reading, on the Bedside 
I Hide the way I hurt
I’d Trust her when she’d say she meant it
Even if I sensed it
Couldn’t be the truth.

ulter:

i read her like a book, i kept turning all the pages
leave me in the past tense, i'll be fine just on ur waitlist
before we touched
my life was all a lie
before we touched
nobody heard my cries
and then u touched my heart
a chance to restart
she said that everything was all my fault
about her, it's all about her
she wants all the power
she said i'm a monster
but i still got her flowers
with every passing hour
i'll write another letter and think of what we were
i'll keep u in the center
she knew i fucking hurt
she always puts herself first
left me with but a curse
i know that i'm not the first
for better or for worse
she told me we're over
i guess that's a lesson learned

Before We Touch w/ ulter

the words i left you with were my own
@decembertears