let the rain wash all the pain

i could actively talk about everything else i've lied about,
but i don't think anybody would want that.

i look at all the pictures; i can't remember you.
don't need your love, don't need your pain, don't need the things you've been through.
and all the feelings will get washed over by the rain.
i wish i could erase the space you're taking in my brain.

was it something i said or what i did last night?
now, it's bottle after bottle. i will be alright.
why would you lie to my face? why would you let me down?
i'm gonna wear all my mistakes like an honored crown.

it seems you gave up, did you get scared?
you think you don't deserve, so you said you never cared.
you wanna do it right, but you never understand.
instead of getting sleep, i'm looking for your hand.

you know it won't help you.
you know it won't make you feel right.
another bitch can't solve your problems if you're afraid to fight.

fucking hell.

i look at all the pictures; i can't remember you.
don't need your love, don't need your pain, don't need the things you've been through.
and all the feelings will get washed over by the rain.
i wish i could erase the space you're taking in my brain.

was it something i said or what i did last night?
now it's bottle after bottle. i will be alright.
why would you lie to my face? why would you let me down?
i'm gonna wear all my mistakes like an honored crown.

don't trust people on the internet, ig.

special thanks to Rendallk ♡

don't trust people on the internet ig (prod. haunt3r x aishite)

i told you everything you need to know
(what?)
if my emotions overflow, i'm sorry
i never meant to be a bother tho
but my existence only makes you worry 

i feel bad for what i said that day you know i didn't mean it
and i cry for weeks it sits too deep, how to make everyone forget it 

and my head feels heavy at night
and my demons flow to surface
you will never make it alright
can you tell me, so was it worth it?

you're a shell of a real human, not made from skin and bones
pretending you don't know about it 
just to say "no it's not my fault" how long do you think you will be able to hide it
you shapeshift, you don't feel, you will never be real
that's why you so jealous of me because i know i how to live
deep inside, empty soul, it was gone long ago 
you can never be hurt again because you have never been low

and i am staying till the sun will rise
so i can feel the cold on my skin
and all the things you do dehumanize
that's why i hate the world we live in

you're a shell of a real human, not made from skin and bones
pretending you don't know about it 
just to say "no it's not my fault"  how long do you think you will be able to hide it
you shapeshift, you don't feel, you will never be real

that's why you so jealous of me because i know how to live
deep inside, empty soul, it was gone long ago 
you can never be hurt again because you have never been low

you smile with dangerous fangs
you shed your skin like a poisonous snake
this time new form you will take
you like pretending, you like being fake

(nah i'm leaving)

shapeshift (prod. dercept x ayoley)

i'd rather burn my lungs with smoke than your cologne
i feel like i am better when i'm on my own
you know i have no place that i could call my home 
i'm using fake emotions just to build a wall

i'm paranoid and i can't sleep at night 
i'm self-destructive i can't be polite
i'm scared to make a move but now i might
i hate my story wanna just rewrite

when you come trying knocking at my door
your mind is blurry and your body is sore 
i know you come to cry and beg for more 
i've done enough i used my luck

i'd rather burn my lungs with smoke than your cologne
i feel like i am better when i'm on my own
you know i have no place that i could call my home 
i'm selling my emotions just to buy some love

i value opinion of my friends but they just don't belong
everyday like a record press replay and play along
and i can't even remember words i wrote to my own song
i guess it don't matter i'm still staying staring at my phone

take it back, make it last fake you care once more
getting into my head, playing stupid role
you're a mess, wasting breath lying all you know 
and i said what i said let me let you go

i'd rather burn my lungs with smoke than your cologne
i feel like i am better when i'm on my own
you know i have no place that i could call my home 
i feel like my emotions turned into a stone

time out, take a deep breath
get up, leave it in the back of your car
light the cigarette, lie to another friend
keep on your game of pretend

(i'm sorry)

take a deep breath
get up, leave it in the back of your car
light the cigarette, lie to another friend
keep on your game of pretend

burn my lungs (prod. dercept)

hold me through the night 
tell me i'm important 
baby, I don't wanna fight
lock your eyes on mine
pull the blanked tight
hide us from the problems
we can keep it if we try

i'm in this place so dark and hopeless
and i can't see the sunlight

will you pull me out if i fall apart
when my vision dark
when there's no one around
capture moment while losing track of time
even the world crumbling apart
it's all because i see, the person you can be

say what you wanna say 
i don't mean it in a bad way
but back in time
you crossed the line
you reached the sky and it crashed
turned the feelings to ash

all the time that i spent 
keep reminding myself
hide away from the friends 
they will ruin again
reminiscing the past
i'm collecting the glass
shattered over the room
you'll be gone by the noon

i know it hurts but what's the point in
just digging deeper in the wound 

will you pull me out if i fall apart
when my vision dark
when there's no one around
capture moment while losing track of time
even the world crumbling apart
it's all because i see, the person you can be

and the room is spinning
filled with smoke and regrets
staying up till 5 AM 
waiting, holding my breath

i'm in this place so dark and hopeless
i know you've been here for a while

will you pull me out if i fall apart
when my vision dark
when there's no one around
capture moment while losing track of time
even the world crumbling apart
it's all because i see, the person you can be

♡

person you can be (prod. dercept x ayoley)

i watch you eat alive my heart 
how do you like the taste
how many times i have to see
you switching up the pace
won't see my face in crowd 
on parties messing up your place
to fill the void you will avoid
you say you need some space

the aching sternum giving comfort
fights are getting old
won't hurt as bad with time unless
you show up at my door
your presence silently in my head
i'm not afraid anymore
the freezing arrow, down the spiral
going through my core

tell me how can you live up with yourself now
how you keeping all your fake friends around
leaving message on tone, swipe it left then ignore
can't fix yourself anymore

worth it, going over limit on highway
you driving over speed bump of your mistakes
catching glimpse of the past, makes you want to come back
but you went too far off the track

can you please stop calling me,
or trying to contact me
it was your decision, i don't understand that
stop trying to look for me
i don't wanna be found

and all the damage done
you should have no regrets from now
i know you trapped inside your head
and don't explain me how
it's not my place to hold your hand
and get you through your faults
and all the stinging in my arms
feels like wounds full of salt

you play your act, act like a prey, 
one day you'll understand
poetic words still hurt the same
and they won't make you a man
i wish i could roll back to place 
where all the shit began
i know the time won't heal
i need a strength to not fall again 

tell me how can you live up with yourself now
how you keeping all your fake friends around
leaving message on tone, swipe it left then ignore
can't fix yourself anymore

worth it, going over limit on highway
you driving over speed bump of your mistakes
catching glimpse of the past, makes you want to come back
but you went too far off the track

♡

off the track (prod. dercept x heyrick)

pain is clawing from beneath
plastic smile and i can't breathe
mirror cracked it's talking back
tells me lies i can believe

heart's a playlist skip the track
feelings burn in bubble wrap
hit delete then hit repeat
rapid thoughts inside my head

i say i'm doing fine 
you say i'm borderline 
watching life it's passing by
i feel perfect when i lie

i say i'm doing  fine 
you say i'm borderline 
i see terror in your eyes
think I caught you by surprise

never better autopilot on disaster
check back later i'm writing a new chapter
rip my heart, yeah break it and then remaster
i'm okay yeah,  never better

rave inside my fragile head
still alive but kinda dead
breaking rules just like my heart
crash and burn, it's modern art

paranoia on my phone,
stranger thoughts just like my own
fake a smile, like a machine
living out a fever dream

i say i'm doing fine 
you say i'm borderline 
watching life it's passing by
i feel perfect when i lie

i say i'm doing  fine 
you say i'm borderline 
i see terror in your eyes
think I caught you by surprise

never better autopilot on disaster (taking matters)
check back later i'm writing a new chapter (make it better) 
rip my heart, yeah break it and then remaster (changing faster)
i'm okay yeah, (glad you asked tho) never better

♡

never better (prod. aki x probelhoroshiy)

every mirror cuts me open
every shadow whispers her name
i trace her ghost on my reflection
i'll never measure up the same 

i can laugh the way she laughed
i can cry the way she cried
but every time you look at me
i see her living in your eyes

i can wear her skin
if it means you'll let me in
take her shape, erase my face
pretend i'm everything she's been
i can wear her skin
if it's the only way to win
don't you know i'd tear myself apart
to be her heartbeat once again

every kiss feels like an echo
every touch a borrowed flame
you keep holding her tomorrow
while i'm dissolving in the frame

i can wear her skin
if it means you'll let me in
take her shape, erase my face
pretend i'm everything she's been

it's a sickness, it's a curse
to want you so much that it hurts
i'm shadow dressed in her light
begging you to call me right

i can wear her skin
if it means you'll let me in
take her shape, erase my face
pretend i'm everything she's been
i can wear her skin
if it's the only way to win
don't you know i'd tear myself apart
to be her heartbeat once again

her skin her skin
wrap me in her skin
her skin her skin
maybe then you'll let me in

♡

her skin (prod dercept x triazo)

my skin is crawling 
when i see your face, 
my body's morphing 
into a disgrace

i tear at the skin just to feel you inside,
i sink in the dark where your ghost used to hide
bleeding forever, i'm trapped in the tide
i tear at the skin just to feel you inside

i breathe in static
choking on your name
this hunger’s violent
it sets me aflame again

everything i was 
everything i am, baby
everything is yours
everything if you maybe
stay by my side,
promise you're here
this hunger consumes me

i tear at the skin just to feel you inside,
i sink in the dark where your ghost used to hide
i’m burning alive in the shape of your name,
i reach but you’re gone, and it’s always the same.
bleeding forever, i'm trapped in the tide
i tear at the skin just to feel you inside

♡

hunger (prod. myss)

i'm alone on the scene
in my head i'm still clean
let me dream for a while
don't take this moment away from me
’cause in my head i see you smile
and i'm not psychotic or panicking

take a step, breathe it out
and i'll remind you it's over
but in my head i see it all
in my head i'm still sober

fuck it up, go again
i know it's all in your nature
but in my head i'm still back then
in my head i'm still holding

onto things that i should let go of
but the loop resets, i can’t switch off
and i'm scared i'll never heal enough
and i break again for the same old love

♡

in my head (prod. inuyasha x eli.yf x dayrick)

baby, fake it till you make it
telling them you're fine, but you don't really say it
you don't fall in love, yeah, you just numb and chase it
tell me how it feels, yeah, still wanting me naked

baby, fake it till you make it
telling them you're fine, but you don't really say it
you don't fall in love, yeah, you just numb and chase it
tell me how it feels, yeah, still wanting me naked

you're addicted to the silence when I'm not with you
so you fill it with a stranger that will leave by noon
another midnight "hey" that doesn't land the way it should
'cause you know that no one matches how I was good

you can lie in text, but not to me
i know your pauses, every beat
you don't want them, baby
just what we used to be

baby, fake it till you make it
telling them you're fine, but you don't really say it
you don't fall in love, yeah, you just numb and chase it
tell me how it feels, yeah, still wanting me naked

baby, fake it till you make it
telling them you're fine, but you don't really say it
you don't fall in love, yeah, you just numb and chase it
tell me how it feels, yeah, still wanting me naked

baby, oh, I know
that you fake it
that you fake it for me
fake it, fake it, fake it for me

♡

youwii

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