CHORUS

I’m going incognito
Yeah, I’m going incognito
Google Chrome
Headphones on
Jerk my dick like Sherlock Holmes             

X4

VERSE

Okay, I’m going undercover
So no one discovers what this mother fucker fuxes with up in his browser 
Watching Brazzers, countless hours, but the paper trail devoured 
You could never tell from the URL on my Dell I’m headed for hell
I jerk off with lotion from the Dead Sea 
I don’t care that it’s unholy ‘cause it feels sweet
It’s got minerals from Israel that moisturize my dick
So at the same time that I’m jacking off I alleviate dry skin 
I’m like Oh Lord
I’m killing two birds with one stone 
I’m like Oh Lord 
My dick soft-served like a small dipped DQ cone 
My history is a mystery 
Past searches gone like the honeybee 
So when I rub and I tug on my boring ass hog 
I can rest assured that I’ll never get caught
It’s three a.m. 
Alone in bed
I’m watching Billy Madison 
On his first day of grade three
He finds out that Miss Vaughan is his teach, jackpot 
‘Cause she’s so hot
I want to touch the hiney 
Plums get tingly
Pause the movie 
Control-shift-N 

CHORUS 

I’m going incognito
Yeah, I’m going incognito
Google Chrome
Headphones on
Jerk my dick like Sherlock Holmes             

X2

VERSE

Incognito isn’t perfect, though 
My provider and employer still see what Jizzy’s been searching for 
I acknowledge that Rogers still has the knowledge that this kid in college jerked off his sausage to some erotic bondage at his cottage 
And I know my boss knows in my cubicle I’m scrolling through pictures of girls who look like cute puppy dogs
Using that Snapchat filter
Don’t give me grief I know I’m not the only mother fucker who finds that filter fucking hot
But there’s no debate that the pros of incognito outweigh the cons 
‘Cause I get no cookies or targeted ads while I twiddle my dong  
I’m a rapper with needs
And when I need to meet these needs 
I need to keep these needs I need to meet discrete  
I don’t smoke anymore
But before when I did
I’d jerk off at my desk 
With a scented candle lit and would trip
Pictured myself in the clip
Now I’m not bald or hung or fit 
But when I’d get high 
I thought that I was Johnny Sins  

CHORUS 

I’m going incognito
Yeah, I’m going incognito
Google Chrome
Headphones on
Jerk my dick like Sherlock Holmes             

X2

BRIDGE

It’s none of your beeswax, bitch 
If I do it in the morning ‘cause I wake up super horny from a dream about J.Lawrence  
It’s none of your beeswax, snitch  
If I do it in the afternoon after guzzling a bowl of grandma’s famous gazpacho soup  
It’s none of your beeswax, trick
If I do it at night after editing a group project that wound up just alright
It’s none of your beeswax, dick
If I do it to Jose Bautista’s ALDS 7th inning bat-flip on a loop
CHORUS
I’m going incognito
Yeah, I’m going incognito
Google Chrome
Headphones on
Jerk my dick like Sherlock Holmes             

X4

Incognito

Single

Dicky Better Than Me

INTRO

Sitting on white porcelain 
I gotta shit 
But shit, this is shit, I can't shit 
My butt's Bartolo though
A Colon that refuse to quit

CHORUS

It's crucial I take Metamucil	
Crucial I take Metamucil
I said it's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil
It's crucial I take Metamucil
So that I can shit 
So I can go about my day 
Feeling relieved and confident 
I said it's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil

VERSE 1

I take long on the toilet 
I sit there for hours 
Takes me forever to poo I'm embarrassed but it's my reality 
Always stay hydrated 
Kellogg's All-Bran Bran Buds
Still for some reason it seems that my body just don't give a fuck 
So I stir that powder in my Tropicana OJ
Every morning 
Jay and Dan on SC while I glug down that drank
No Crohn’s or colitis 
Nor IBS
These problems all common with Jews I suppose one could say that I'm blessed 
Trouble going in public 
Feel anxious as fuck
It stems from that time that I shat on my leg by mistake at camp dropping a dook in the woods 
What’s up with this tempo?
I think I should stop
It sounds like a combo of Drake and a pile of dirty old socks 
On sale at Shoppers? 
I load up my cart 
Nothing better than buying in bulk using points I build up overtime, PC Optimum Card

CHORUS

It's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil
I said it's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil

VERSE 2

Being productive on my phone while I do my business 
TD app, banking comfy, I’m e-transfering bitches 
Fantasy MLB, dishing picks, I’m rebuilding
Connect with friends’ dads on LinkedIn, online network game is filthy, ew
Seventy-Sixer in the loo
Trust the process
I trust my innards will learn to process food
But I get stressed when I can’t shit and I can’t shit when I’m stressed 
It’s a vicious circle like Estrada’s changeup when you’re sitting fastball, no chance 
It’s irritating being constipated, growing impatient, oh man
I persevere and stay in good spirits but when you boil it down I’m mad
I’m tired of trying to squeeze poo out my crack 
Wish I ran smooth like I’m Andre De Grasse
Try to relax and not overreact 
But it’s tough because it’s such a pain in the ass     
Used to experiment when I’d get sushi
Now when I go bitch I got to be choosy
Need to think twice because all that white rice clogs me good
So I’m eating sashimi profusely  
Irregular bowels they’re all out of whack it’s a fact of my life good God please understand go on say what you will ‘bout my digestive tract but Young Jizzy spits hard on this digestive track  

CHORUS 

It's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil
I said it's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil
It's crucial I take Metamucil
So that I can shit 
So I can go about my day 
Feeling relieved and confident 
I said it's crucial I take Metamucil
Crucial I take Metamucil

METAMUCIL.

CHORUS 

I just wanna be a husband, a house husband
I wanna be a husband, a house husband
I ain’t about that hustling, that hustling
I just wanna be a husband, a house husband

VERSE 1

Get with the times
Gender roles are a changin’
If my wife wears the pants it’s not lame, they’re black leggings, it’s fucking amazing 
She’ll be the breadwinner
Me, the stay at home dad
She brings home the bacon while I wake up early and fry it for her in our cast iron pan 
Betty Draper kinda’ shit
Running errands, doing laundry, cooking dinner for the kids
And after I drive them to school 
What should I do?
Got the whole day to myself 
Barefoot Contessa on mute
Jerk off at noon
Scroll through Wayfair for some sales 
I’ll make dinner plans with some family friends that my wife will back out of last minute
She’s got a work thing that just came up, claims she’s got a conference call with a new client 
But honey it’s the second time that we’re cancelling on the Cohens and we’ve had these reservations for a month 
And I’m starting to think that this ain’t about your work and that you’ve always had it out for the Cohens  
Walk my kids and dog to the park on Sunday afternoons 
Got the youngest in my Baby Bjorn, Young Jizz the kangaroo
And since I’m the only dad around I flirt with all the moms 
But flirting’s all it ever is ‘cause my wife’s pussy is the bomb 

CHORUS 

I just wanna be a husband, a house husband
I wanna be a husband, a house husband
I ain’t about that hustling, that hustling
I just wanna be a husband, a house husband 

VERSE 2 

The city’s so busy so I prefer suburbs
No hustle or bustle
Live close to your mother
Neighbours lend you sugar
When you’re cookie cutter  
Bed Bath & Beyond is just minutes away
Refill my SodaStream, no Perrier
My tap water bubbles
My bath’s filled with bubbles
I’m soaked in the tub with J.Lohr Cabernet 

BRIDGE

Now don’t get me wrong, I know it’s a full-time position 
One that doesn’t come with benefits, no vision, dental, pension
But while you’re behind a desk uploading sheets to Google Drive
I’ll be busy doing me, ‘cause I ain’t living 9 to 5  

VERSE 3

Catch me

Bingeing Love It or List It (Vancouver) 
Watch orcas dance from a postmodern kitchen 
Filling prescriptions 
Son’s anaphylactic a peanut could kill him
Preventing infection
He scraped his knee biking, I smear Polysporin 
Getting my steps in
When my Fitbit buzzes I buzz with excitement
You say it’s a copout 
Well, I say you a bitch
You conform to the life that’s expected when you could be home Skinny Poppin’ while planning a trip 
Racing these rats for some cheddar
Job title’s essential  
Your values all wrong, you’ve been trapped 
I don’t lack the skills to make millions, I just got the feeling that I’d make a really good dad
Like, I could grow your dumb-ass start-up in a fuckin’ second 
Help develop a brand voice and expand social media presence 
But I’d rather a career that is genuinely fulfilling
You’re complying, I’m Kawhi-ing, got New Balance on my feet ‘cause 
 
CHORUS 

I’m a husband, a house husband
I wanna be a husband, a house husband
I ain’t about that hustling, that hustling
I just wanna be a husband, a house husband

Young Jizz

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