Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

via @universalchill
prod jolst x viera
music video: https://youtu.be/J9w6bF2pk90

go home,
go home 
out the cold
i feel so cold 
so cold
i just wanna keep you warm
but you lay in the dirt
in the dirt

n jus go home 
go home 
out the heat 
i am so hot 
so hot
i need your helping hand but u just let me burn
let me burn 

and this happens like every fucking autumn 
baby let the leaves fall down on my coffin 
i’ll make u a coffee when i leave in the morning 
the morning 

im fuckin geeked up when u be callin
i’m sorry that i slur i know u just don’t want it
i can’t help myself bein sober 2 boring 2 boring 

ima sleep in a little bit don’t hit my phone up
it’s not like i’m hurting anybody out here

i cancel all my plans and just cut the cord cus i need two 20’s for my head to feel clear

talkin bout 20’s i jus pop and pop them 
i know it’s not cool but im already here

i need a pretty girl to just cock her shotgun
and evaporate my heart 
i don’t wanna be here 

n i can’t make the music if the energy ain’t right 

n i can’t focus up unless there TR in my sprite 

i pour the pinewood till my chest don’t feel so tight 

2 fucked up u can’t kill me twice

think my heart just caved in 
i’m thinking bout all the time that i jus wasted
texting u but i don’t get a reply
like no way

i’m just a waste of space and
even with this music i don’t think i’ll make it
i’m spilling all my guts on this stupid
fucking iphone notes page 
x2

tarnished (jolst x viera)

all night w/ shizukesa. (eric godlow)

lyrics:
i dont give a fuck, cause i know we're gonna die
and i know it doesnt matter, i can see it in your eyes
yeah we might as well go quick, just delaying our demise
yeah our lives are laid to waste while we're floating in the sky

tight noose, i knew, this is how i die
you starve, im blue, baby its alright
got a box for two, baby you and i
we're alive in death, we were dead in life

it doesnt fucking matter what we do anyway
it doesnt fucking matter not a thing that i say
im hoping for the better but it just stays the same
when you die ill follow you ill meet you dead in the grave

i wish you fucking cared what happened to you
youre everything to me if you only knew
i say it all the time but it never gets through
tell me what the fuck i would do without you

wouldnt know what to say, wouldnt know what to do
with this pain in my chest, while i scream in the booth
about the one that i love and the horrible truth, that youre gone

it doesnt fucking matter what we do anyway
it doesnt fucking matter not a thing that i say
im hoping for the better but it just stays the same
when you die ill follow you ill meet you dead in the grave

IDGAF (yes i do)

IDGAF(yes i do)

Lyrics:

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

nauseous (apc)

next track delayed while i get my mental health in check :/

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊.
told her let go, jus a fuck up from the get go
simply fkn with my mental
setbacks roll me, no cigarillo 
steady on my dick but ur chick still hit the set tho 
tryna kick it, nigga think he liu kang
bad lil bish offa addy and a mood swing
kush smell like cat piss, been smokin on magic
got blood on my jeans w/ blunt ash on this mattress-
oh my god~ 
smoke in bed until this shi happen again
and fall apart in my car, you break my heart like i was dead
so MIA, dissipate with every thought inside my head
wish i was better, said the letter that i bet u never read

𝚜𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗
i could fuck off if that’s what u want
its been a Long night lit I could see the sun
baby here’s a tip 
dont be scared of fun
i could show u how to get ur body numb
we pop outside then its back to the night
id rather that u cry than prepared for a fight
baby how u feel 
she said alright then alright
i would kiss it better but im scared that u bite
wonder if these bullets could be stopped by his tai chi..

𝚜𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 + 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊.
in this bitch silent
im not too inviting
baby if u pull it 
shits about to get violent
she might be my baby
but she turn a tyrant
gotta let go
i remain a fuck up right from the get go
you a slimey little bitch u a gecko!
all my dogs inside the crib like a petco
its the bro code
u aint special🖕🏼

follow spotify!

out_of_ord3r w/ sewerperson (necu)

so much pain in my heart
idk where to start 
i keep rollin up blunts
and smokin em all in the dark 
closed in the stu makin art 
about everything thatS a part
of my life and marked me 
to the point where i can't even talk

to anybody i know
bout anything that i go
thru everyday is a struggle
wakin up  wishin i don't
shit got me feeling so low 
going thru this all alone
i got nobody to relate to 
but a pillbox n a bong

everyday is the same/ but just a little bit different
today i was the guilty one again, cuz i didn't listen
yesterday it was still my fault, but surely 4 anotha reason
i think/ shit never changes, despite us changing the szn
i suddenly went cold, like we're in a blizzard
sick of bastards who fold, n runaway like they lizzards
acting like u r dr connors, imma beat u like peter
ain't no way u betraying me, im sick of being beaten

not my choice to be born
not my decision
if it really was up to me
i'd be in a grave not breathing
all the bones that u broke 
r the reason 
why ur so bad for me 
but keep me from kneeling

so much pain in my heart
idk where to start 
i keep rollin up blunts
and smokin em all in the dark 
closed in the stu makin art 
about everything thatS a part
of my life and marked me 
to the point where i can't even talk

to anybody i know
bout anything that i go
thru everyday is a struggle
wakin up  wishin i don't
shit got me feeling so low 
going thru this all alone
i got nobody to relate to 
but a pillbox n a bong

sm pain in mh (tiedforsilver)

produced by @uvshy
thanks cam for pic
<3

i should be honest 
and i can be honest 
ill burn all my bridges 
and fulfil my promises to you

ill bury my sins deep in my garden 
was not my intention to be such a burden 
and i 

when everythings unjust 
theres nothing left here 
its all collecting dust 
right on my shelf dear

nothing before this 
it plays and it torments 
quite some time its been dormant
and my efforts exhaustive 

deep in the forest 
my mind such a torment
im unearthing burdens 
and im all alone and im

when everythings unjust 
theres nothing left here 
its all collecting dust 
right on my shelf dear

lalala

burden (prod. shy)

hope u enjoy !

prod me:)

lyrics:

started seeing some things
started getting real cold
started losing my sleep
started getting real old
i been thinking too deep
i dont think u wanna know
never pray before i sleep
i just stare up at the ceiling
think too much
think i drink too much
think i smoked what was left
i just barely saw the plug
think i'm too far gone
think there's nothing to be saved
think i'll call you up
tell me everything's ok

ok
say i'll make it all ok
say you'll make it all ok
say i'll make it out ok
ok


I KNOW HOW YOU FEELING!

Support Venus: https://www.youtube.com/c/venusboy

_____________________________________________________
Lyrics:
missing all the late nights snuggled tight
Had one glimpse upon that face, I know the feelings right
I cannot forget the taste of your tongue
I'm so drunken in love
I think I might know the meaning now
~ (ohhhh)
can't you just feel it now
it's been a year since you apeared a head above the crowd
you're something special
you are simply picture perfect
and I'm sure your embrace will be worth it
to fight through all the sleepless nights
and I remember last december you entered my life
you brought me hope again
and filled me from within
brought love to my life, shine bright girl
~
and I think every single night
I apprciate ya
sorry if i'm distant
you and music are my mediators
so I thought I'd put together a few songs so I can just show
how much I really love you, come together and we just soak
~
In the sunlight
love shine so bright
I'm outta words right now
you're my partner in crime
you're my world, lie down
with you're on my chest
calm my nerves right down
(down)
(down)
(calm my nerves right down)
(down)
(down)
(calm my nerves right down)
In the sunlight
love shine so bright
I'm outta words right now
you're my partner in crime
you're my world, lie down
with you're on my chest
calm my nerves right down
(down)
(down)
(calm my nerves right down)
(down)
(down)
(calm my nerves right down)

5 AM [prod. venus]

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

ok

Yokai Dreams