have a good dreamy rest of your evening

live improvisation

life is pain 

but sometimes it's not

///
yeah it always is, we just choose what pain to carry

have a good dreamy rest of your evening

live (very edited) improvisation 3

guide: how to procrastinate on doing your hw

you ask this google image generator to generate something that it cant, it'll give you a dog picture lmfao

i'll have a night of your finest dreams please

initial description ->

escapism as a vital and primary thing to be able to live a healthy life
take me home


////
now (take 2 because i fucked up the first time and closed this by accident without saving it anywhere else)

you know i used to listen to this shit 3 years ago, when i was going out of a subway during my last semester in uni

and you know, i understand that some people have an absolute blast in university, best times of their lives and shit

this was totally not the case for me

every fucking time, i talked to people and they seem to be "nice", or "smiley", or "good" they just ended up ghosting me, and i started to learn to not get attached to people, and started to try less, and became even more lonely than i was in high school

i was really socially inept at the time, and looking back, you start to see that people dont really care about disabled, because they didnt yet invent wheel chairs for your brain lmfao

but i was still trying, i wasnt going to give up so easily at the time

and you know a ton things have changed over time, i have learned to work with my emotions for one, my habits, processed a lot of emotional baggage, and i learned to give up, i also improved my social skills, and im able to engage and have a great time with people being an INTP with 90% introversion

but why, WHY is everyone's self awareness is so fucking low? why do i look at people, and all i see are kids, who have gotten themselves lost in the sea, who have gotten fucked up by life, but unable to to take steps to fix it, afraid to look at themselves, or at least have a brain to make sense of the world even while being broken

why cant you give a fuck?

lmfaooooo i look at these rights' activists and people in the government, working on fixing an already broken system, that is inhabited by an insanely broken people

yeah, def, one small step in the right direction is better than nothing sweetheart, you have definitely worked enough on yourself to know what direction is right, and how others work, since you have worked so much on yourself, and looked enough inside

broken people cant fix broken people

and you know ALL THIS SHIT, made me stop trusting myself to make sense of the world, because i thought that im doing something wrong, but over time i kept on seeing that my intuition and my predictions about things and people are correct

and to clarify, no, seeing things doesnt make me better than everyone, just makes me really fucking lonely, and, i guess, observant

being fair, i did meet couple of(2) good professors, and you know they were genuinely great people, i couldnt be more thankful for that, without them i wouldve likely never recovered

why is everyone so fucking institutionalized?

none of us are in prison, yet, why is it, that everyone has these set settings in their heads, and simply act like bots in their lives

you call your trauma your personality, but tell me i dont have any, because i dont have anything to tell you about my life, or that im not angry at some group of people

yeah i dont read the news, because it doesnt change my life

yeah i wake up, and i weld my miata at my backyard, because i love this car to death

yeah i dont joke about everything, because i never trained that skill (i am now, beware of me sex havers), so NO SEX FOR ME YET

there is no grand in my life, no status

lmfao status, are you dumb or just pretending? in 50 years we going to point at people with some futuristic device thats going to output colors, you are RED? low status, GREEN? makes you higher ranked than others

oh excuse me what are you saying? all this theory is pointless? reality is always dumber and broken, and my theory doesnt apply?

so, no need to think, just do?

how come you cant see these dumb fucking things if youve done so much

im not angry, just dissapointed, and lonely

go do things, be positive, and i dont doubt you will achieve the greatness in no time, and change the world for the best! together we can do anything!

floating down the moon meander into the sky

improvisation 4 i believe

you are walking between the stars, but it's too late and your family says the food is ready and you have to come back home

it only took a moment

as im writing the pack i'll be posting tracks as i finish them here (might never finish but who knows)

from from DotA 2 Music Pack

radiant_win (from DotA 2 Music Pack)

as im writing the pack i'll be posting tracks as i finish them here (might never finish but who knows)

from DotA 2 Music Pack

dire_loss (from DotA 2 Music Pack)

me x id(or maybe not) - choir of lost souls [wip or maybe not]

old thing

melodic disco

COMPOSITION ASSIGNMENT 2

FREE SHEET MUSIC: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VRVSGgwenWI7ixGP3YlrQUhxlECmjstW/view?usp=sharing

consonance and dissonance assignment

- what if some day there came a tomorrow and we were apart?
- as long as we're apart together we shall certainly be fine.

one too deep of a conversation

autotuned_whale

https://soundcloud.com/qodkoa

massage this artest

horologer

glasslung_

glasslung_fastaversion

soap_bubbles

https://www.twitch.tv/ximm_music_official

farmyard_dragon

world_of_goo

variation

ximmdaws 2

ximmdaws 3

ximmdaws 5

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/478964293522685954/1385464812666097765/no_sleep.gif?ex=685ac768&is=685975e8&hm=82520abf6da3885fe507876d30ace91d256f6e20017317c1a0c7fa43beb8220b&=

ambient 1

Dont Touch (2019)

Next Time (2019)

Maybe (2019)

It all started from the moment when I decided to write a soundtrack for DOTA 2. After many stops and rework of dozens of projects, my underdeveloped brain finally came to the conclusion that I was not ready for this. Over the past five months, I went through a lot: hundreds of losses and discoveries of various motivations, school, new work, a room in which I've changed a lot of things and also lived almost every day since the day I wrote the previous EP. And although I am very tired, and in general, most likely now is not the best time for my health. For any attempt to blow my nose, I get another bleeding, but I'm still glad that the next assembly of tracks will come to light. Yes, I have a very little subscribers, auditions, friends, and in general I have never been successful in anything by myself, but for me it is a lot of work. I received a lot of support from many people, but especially I would like to thank @syrge, my friend Stas, Arman and Maxim, and also, of course, my parents and my sista Anastasia and many others who have been in contact with me throughout that time and without whom all this would never have happened. There are very few things in my life and very few of them remain, but those that remain remain forever somewhere deep inside me, as completely forgotten, but such important things. And that's all I have.
credits
released December 27, 2018. 22:46, Pittsburgh, PA

Startup

official space of @ximm_music_official

holder of a title of a fastest world record in receiving a commentary from VR himself

speedrun any% in nomination "if Virtual Riot sees this, i will release"

official time: 16.5 hours after the video was posted

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