I'm well aware of all the b******* that I say

and when you're talking I don't stare off in space I promise I'm listening I'm going nsane

scho so lang prod. h8me

Emo bullshit


idc if you don't like this song I made this one for myself

Lyrics:

Today I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
I'm all out of time, It's too late to try
So baby kill me slowly however you like
However you like

Is this a dream? Got my hand on the handle 
Perks in my bloodstream I just took a handful
Don't remember how I got here
It doesn't matter how I got here
All I can see is the gun on the table 
Fall on my face call your phone while I'm able
Don't remember how I got here
Doesn't matter how I got here
Flashbacks to days that I thought were repressed
I fucked up again yeah it's what I do best
Just trying to fill up this hole in my chest but she don't understand what I mean by depressed and
I'd tell you I hated you if it were true
I'd tell you i loved you if you loved me too but
I'm on the edge now I know it's too late
I already know I was just a mistake

I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
I'm all out of time, It's too late to try
So baby kill me slowly however you like
However you like

I don't know who to put this in words, the way this burns
Silver lining is that I'm blessed with a curse
With this anger that I know I deserve, or am I swerving on the people that I love cause I'm 17 and already missed my turn?
And I didn't learn a thing from this
Except what it's like to be buzzing with a trigger finger dying to scratch an itch
And I feel like such a bitch, now my girl is pissed because I'm back on the pharms
Singing love from her lips, and writing hate on her arms
So I say fuck it I'm done, And I try to get away
But I don't get very far, And there's nowhere to stay
Now I'm writing these bars, Cause I've got so much to say
So my worlds will live on, Even When I fade away

 I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
It's all in my head, I think I'm better off dead
So can you please tell me why?

Oct. 17th 2014

Ｉ＇Ｍ　ＦＵＣＫＥＤ　ＩＮ　ＴＨＥ　ＨＥＡＤ
Ｉ＇Ｍ　Ａ　ＨＥＡＴＨＥＮ

//私はあなたなしで悲惨です//

thank you guys for all the love and support, especially lately. i've been going through a lot this past week & to know you guys are here for me really means a lot. we'll get through it together. we always do. i love you.

also, follow my boy 9TAILS
@i_x_t_a_i_l_s
and my boy tothegood
@tothegood

follow 9TAILS

guardin x 9TAILS - nothing (prod. by tothegood)

spotify

apathy w/ guccihighwaters

@guardinmusic
@imnegativezer0

lyrics:
ive been saving this for the weekend
an eighth of spliffs to numb my emotions
my hair is split, im cutting the lose ends
my brain is shit, im tired of trying
im sick of this patience 
logic comes to dying
i knew you were lying but i didnt care
you were something to stop my self hatred
i didnt dare ask a question
you're always on my mind
intervention for loving too many times
did i mention this pain is a way of life?
you learn to live with it
or you let it eat you alive

id kill myself
just to be myself
dont even ask the question
all ill be is a burden

who the fuck am i
just another psychopathic little prick you decide
it's much better here without me cause you're feeling alive
all i ever did was love you but everything dies 

there's a monster in my head that's rippin' me apart 
vacant spaces in the places where we both would start
to separate and every day i blow my candles out
i sit inside but that's not something you  could care about
my heartbeat has grown tired of the wind
if you don't love me anymore than please don't bother to attend 
i'm a waste of energy i'll never see the point in this
arms length, this love is tragic, i'm not something you would miss

i'm so fucking lost without you
they don't really care about you

Follow me <3

before the storm (ft. guardin) [prod. negative zero]

Spotify

baby do you hate me (prod. sketchmyname) out on spotify

music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC7Ak_JNOWA
hosted by sad chill </3

@prodreaper

i cant feel a fucking thing
keep my eyes up to the rain
death is callin out my name
it's not too late to call again
the sky starts fallin on my face
but i'll always pull up to the same old place
marijuana rolled up, hit a gram to the face
said it's never been so good to fucking feel so dead

it could never be the same
put the double barreled to my brain
next to my 40 oz and pack of cigs
i'll paint a picture with the parts that remain

what would you do
if we could go back and maybe change some things?
if only you knew
that i'd do it all again just to get to where i'm at
sometimes ur eyes turn blue
and sunshines look fine without
or anybody that i knew
yeah, weeks go by where i don't think about you

sometimes ur eyes turn blue (prod. reaper) </3 music video in description </3

guitar, production -https://soundcloud.com/poppytears

shout out to https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s for jumping on this one with me  

"Behind Screens" full album: https://open.spotify.com/album/25XjozBMStYBDrlGk3wqHw?si=xAQ3iCJaTb6kz4hOhSMS0g

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/familypet
https://soundcloud.com/4ever-falling https://soundcloud.com/lilhappylilsad
https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s

cover art: www.instagram.com/kenny_ravee/

Bandcamp link: https://lilsedative.bandcamp.com/track/healthy-relief-ft-9tails-remastered

love you all

LYRICS: 

9TAILS:
not much i can do
pretty girls always needed more acceptance from you
i told her I'd
love if we ran away
cheap grams and cheap faith arent much of a reason to stay
and we could come back anytime but my souls had enough for today
enough with these moodswings i love you i love you but please go away
she feeds me real great
i can only wait so long
i can only show you once
december weather got my fingers numb
we end with the day
were gone with the sun

Poppy Tears: 

You call yourself a rockstar 
and you can't even play the fucking guitar
I know it isn't in your heart 
couldn't give two fucks about the art

we all fade away like a picture losing colour inside it's frame 
are we all waiting for the day, the day we look back upon what we made

like was it worth it 
Am I deserving
I'm still learning 
with death I'm flirting 

I slow my heart rate 
I've made that mistake 
feel my bones shake 
and find my own lane

✧ spotify ✧

healthy relief w/ 9TAILS (prod. poppy tears)

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1W8tSHLnTM
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4SDrYcibOoKqswDN3Y1Kb8?si=Frc39TndQH-Xq90uCpOe3g

Lyrics:
Got this burden in me stirring tossing turning
Working on a better me is it worth it worth it
You deserve it thats what she said
But she's perfect I'm the only she'll regret
Woah there don't you go there that's what she said
No fair you don't know where I've been sleeping
No care you were nowhere blank and speechless
But she's perfect I'm the one she'll regret

Memories on reread we can't reset
Drowning in the deep end every weekend
I've been searching I've been seeking fighting demons
Needing something to believe in need a reason
So stay with me lil bae
Don't play with me no games no way
So stay with me lil bae
Just lay with me run away with me

Got this burden in me stirring tossing turning
Working on a better me is it worth it worth it
You deserve it thats what she said
But she's perfect I'm the only she'll regret
Woah there don't you go there that's what she said
No fair you don't know where I've been sleeping
No care you were nowhere blank and speechless
But she's perfect I'm the one she'll regret

Feel like a burden I feel like a waste
Blunts I be burning take two to the face
Memories lurking wish I could erase 
Driving and swerving like this shit a race yuh
Lately been running in place
Drugs that I'm taking got me outer space 
Can't get no love and not notice the hate
Talking online but in person they fake yuh
I'm tryna cop me a wraith
Finest interior match with the bape yuh
I used to be such a saint
Kids looking up to me now but I ain't nah
I just be stacking my dividends 
Out there somewhere by the river bend
Used to be down on my luck I was down in the dirt
Found my purpose now I wanna live again
Can't do this shit again 
I been indifferent diamonds drip glistening
That shit don't matter just that u listening 
Hope that u listening

Wish I was a kid again
wish I was a kid again
X2

Got this burden in me stirring tossing turning
Working on a better me is it worth it worth it
You deserve it thats what she said
But she's perfect I'm the only she'll regret
Woah there don't you go there that's what she said
No fair you don't know where I've been sleeping
No care you were nowhere blank and speechless
But she's perfect I'm the one she'll regret

Music Video

Burden (prod. AIRAVATA) [VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION]

prod. @4evrgone

I don't know who i am
i don't trust who you are
lately all i can do is pray to the stars
that this bleak observation of everything i see
might one day turnaround 
i need to get some fucking help

im fucking sick of myself 
fucking sick of how my brain has a mind for itself
consider this an open letter you wont read for yourself
yeah of course im talking bout whos typing these words all down

looking more and more like deadman in this wonderland town
looking more and more like deadman in this wonderland town

leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
im fucking sick of myself 

im fucking sick of myself
fucking sick of how my brain has a mind for itself
consider this an open letter you wont read for yourself
yeah of course im talking bout whos typing these words all down

leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing

sick of myself (prod. 4evr)

[+] i don't want whatever i want.
* prod by @raspobeats *

IG: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TW: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: discord.gg/VRcvcdf
LYRICS:

[verse: 1]
woah, we was watchin' Coraline,
smoking on some gas that had me borderline,
borderline, dead
i think i feel more alive, when
i'm with you
say that you feelin me too
i got the baddest, the baddest of two
i feel the weight in my chest when you move
baby i'm yours i got nothing to lose, no

[chorus:]
and we goin' fall apart everytime
look up at the stars in the sky
i'm still wishin you were mine, babe
i just wanna get you high, ay

[bridge:]
cigarillo smoke in my whip
i got the baddest lil bitch
she tug my heart strings
but she tug my heart strings

[verse: 2]
baby i can tell you what you want to hear
grabbin' on my pants,
then we outta here, outta here, ay
like god damn, you so fine
make you cum ten times
but then you won't leave my,
place, and thats okay
we just getting high baby
life seem straight
for a couple of kids on the benches
tell me the truth lil girl i feel the tension

[verse: 3]
baby girl i can tell that you had it,
left me here so god damn tragically
i see through your bones and
through your teeth
she think i'm a legend, i'm a G
muh fuckin' see
jay, keep her on leash, ay
but only when we fuckin.

apathy w/ guccihighwaters

fats'e

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