Whip Your Kids

Road rage from your favorite martian by ray william johnson

ROAD RAGE - (Your Favorite Martian)

Your Favorite Martian - Eff This Job (Feat. Cartoon Wax)

Gen 1

Nerd Rage

My Balls
Lyrics And Vocals by Ray William Johnson 
Beat by Mixscape 
Release Date-Jan 26, 2011 

Verse 1
Girl, I know you left me,
but there was something I forgot to show you.
Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up.
It's been a while since we last spoke, but
I need another chance. Can you give me that?
'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back.
I wanna be your man again, 
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you'd never call,
But girl, you ain't seen my balls.

Chorus 
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(repeat)

Verse 2
My balls are so awesome. Don't get me started.
They're so damn big. How big are they?
They're so big. It's really obnoxious.
It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers.
They're so big. I can't hold 'em back.
Even Cartman's like, man those are fat.
They're so big. They're run over your feet.
That's why when they back up you hear a beep beep.
And how can I be subtle, 
when my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel?
And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me
That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy.
In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll
Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel.
I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back,
'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act.

Chorus
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(repeat)

Verse 3
My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin',
but they have an effect on the tides in the ocean.
And when the sun's right, it might cause
A total solar eclipse of my balls.
'Cause these things are where it's happenin',
and when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again.
Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus?
No, excuse me I'm on the chorus.
I got what you need.
And you'd said you'd never call,
But girl you ain't seen these balls.
I wanna be your man again, 
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you'd never call,
But girl, you ain't seen my balls.

Chorus
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(repeat)

I told you you'd be back.
You must've forgot.
You must've had Ballzheimer's. 

My Balls

Bottles Of Beer
Lyrics And Vocals by Ray William Johnson 
Beat by Kurt Hugo Schneider And Ray William Johnson 
Release Date-Feb 23, 2011 

Verse 1
I was chilling with my BUD, SAM ADAMS.
We get a call from MILLER. The man was having spasms.
He said, "dude get dressed. There's not a chance in hell
That we could miss this keg party up in SAN MIGUEL."
"Do I have to go out, dude?"
"No but that Mexican chick CORONA is there,
And she's been asking about you."
I hung up the phone. Time to get dressed, I
Put on my MAGIC HAT and my shirt with the RED STRIPE.
We hit a BUSCH dodging traffic as we passed by 'em
In that KILLIAN'S RED charger with the FAT TIRE(s).
We drove around for like half the night.
Luckily the BLUE MOON provided NATURAL LIGHT.
We rolled up to the party and everybody was rockin',
Playing BECK'S old single on that iPod dock and
That's where it's at. My ears were all ringing.
The party crowd was getting loud, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.

Verse 2
Now everyone was crammed in the basement, wasted
Even ASAHI, that foreign exchange kid. 
He was just in KINGFISHER, wreckin' his Vette
Like "automobile, big leck!" 
I poured myself a brew and drank half the glass
This ugly MOOSEHEAD chick kept grabbing my ass. 
I told that HARP that she could go to hell
And then I saw CORONA, and she was looking STELLA.
And down to have some fun, she
Was still a freshman, a YUENGLING with a tongue-ring.
The alcohol was all clouding my thinking,
So I slapped her on the HEINEKEN I get you a drink? And
She said, "ha! You're totally cute.
"If you fetch me a beer, I'll let you touch my boob."
Hell yeah, I went to get her a drink, then
The party started moving, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.

Verse 3
CORONA'S ex-boyfriend started talking to me
His FOSTER(s) parents nicknamed him MILWAUKEE'S BEST.
'Cause dude was big enough that he could tackle the world.
He was like "Hey Broski, you're jacking my girl.
I should bust your SKOL. You look like a queer, I'm
Gonna challenge you to a game of beer pong."
"Of COORS! Challenge accepted."
You can call me GUINNESS, 'cause I'm touting the record."
Beer pong's my game, and with my shoulder cocked
I bounced that ball in the cup like a ROLLING ROCK.
We played for a while, and I was wooing them when
I showed everyone who'd win the BLUE RIBBON... PABST
And CORONA was like, "wow!
You can totally touch my boob now."
I was EL PRESIDENTE
Or maybe a king with my CORONA
In my NEW CASTLE, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. 

Bottles Of Beer

The Stereotypes Song
Lyrics and Vocals by Ray Johnson 
Beat by Kurt Hugo Schneider 
Release Date-Mar 23, 2011 

Pre-Chorus
I've always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous,
So I wrote a song about it and it goes a little something like this.

Chorus 
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Verse 1
I love those fat Americans. You know they're so obnoxious.
They're always eating burgers. They're always holding shotguns.
And I love Mexicans. The way they mow my lawn.
They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on.
Uh huh. 'Cause that's the way they role.
You've got to go big like an Israeli nose.
If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy, they're
Out of control like a Chinese driver.

Verse 2
I love the Middle East, but how do they handle
Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.
I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they're cool, but
They're always high, so don't let them fool ya.
And I love them Puerto Ricans,
Even though they wash their ass about once a weekend.
I'm just joking. If you didn't know then
You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland.

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Verse 3
Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell
If you love the outback redneck Australians,
And the crooked teeth of an English dude
Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth.
And how could anyone hate the French.
Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.
Brazilian girls is what you want,
Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.

Verse 4
I love Africans, but hold up a second.
National Geographic says they're all butt-naked.
Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes.
They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose.
Uh oh! They're all on my checklist,
Even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast.
They're stereotypes, and if you believe them,
Then your brain is small like a Korean's penis.

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
(repeat 8x)

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. 

The Stereotypes Song

Mr. Douchebag

Grandma Got a Facebook

YourFavoriteMartian-Stalkin' Your Mom

SANTA HATES POOR KIDS

We're a fake cartoon band who writes comedy songs. We're 100% super-duper serious about the subject matter of our songs. Yes, our balls really are the size of the earth's moon. Yes, we really do drink the tears of baby orphans. Yes, we really have sexual relations with zombies. No, seriously.

The Stereotypes Song

YourFavoriteMartian

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