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Whip Your Kids

Club Villian - Your Favourite Martian

Road rage from your favorite martian by ray william johnson

ROAD RAGE - (Your Favorite Martian)

Bottles Of Beer
Lyrics And Vocals by Ray William Johnson 
Beat by Kurt Hugo Schneider And Ray William Johnson 
Release Date-Feb 23, 2011 

Verse 1
I was chilling with my BUD, SAM ADAMS.
We get a call from MILLER. The man was having spasms.
He said, "dude get dressed. There's not a chance in hell
That we could miss this keg party up in SAN MIGUEL."
"Do I have to go out, dude?"
"No but that Mexican chick CORONA is there,
And she's been asking about you."
I hung up the phone. Time to get dressed, I
Put on my MAGIC HAT and my shirt with the RED STRIPE.
We hit a BUSCH dodging traffic as we passed by 'em
In that KILLIAN'S RED charger with the FAT TIRE(s).
We drove around for like half the night.
Luckily the BLUE MOON provided NATURAL LIGHT.
We rolled up to the party and everybody was rockin',
Playing BECK'S old single on that iPod dock and
That's where it's at. My ears were all ringing.
The party crowd was getting loud, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.

Verse 2
Now everyone was crammed in the basement, wasted
Even ASAHI, that foreign exchange kid. 
He was just in KINGFISHER, wreckin' his Vette
Like "automobile, big leck!" 
I poured myself a brew and drank half the glass
This ugly MOOSEHEAD chick kept grabbing my ass. 
I told that HARP that she could go to hell
And then I saw CORONA, and she was looking STELLA.
And down to have some fun, she
Was still a freshman, a YUENGLING with a tongue-ring.
The alcohol was all clouding my thinking,
So I slapped her on the HEINEKEN I get you a drink? And
She said, "ha! You're totally cute.
"If you fetch me a beer, I'll let you touch my boob."
Hell yeah, I went to get her a drink, then
The party started moving, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.

Verse 3
CORONA'S ex-boyfriend started talking to me
His FOSTER(s) parents nicknamed him MILWAUKEE'S BEST.
'Cause dude was big enough that he could tackle the world.
He was like "Hey Broski, you're jacking my girl.
I should bust your SKOL. You look like a queer, I'm
Gonna challenge you to a game of beer pong."
"Of COORS! Challenge accepted."
You can call me GUINNESS, 'cause I'm touting the record."
Beer pong's my game, and with my shoulder cocked
I bounced that ball in the cup like a ROLLING ROCK.
We played for a while, and I was wooing them when
I showed everyone who'd win the BLUE RIBBON... PABST
And CORONA was like, "wow!
You can totally touch my boob now."
I was EL PRESIDENTE
Or maybe a king with my CORONA
In my NEW CASTLE, and everybody started singing:

Chorus
[inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall.
[inaudible] bottles of beer.
You take one down, you pass it around,
You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. 

Bottles Of Beer

The Stereotypes Song
Lyrics and Vocals by Ray Johnson 
Beat by Kurt Hugo Schneider 
Release Date-Mar 23, 2011 

Pre-Chorus
I've always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous,
So I wrote a song about it and it goes a little something like this.

Chorus 
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Verse 1
I love those fat Americans. You know they're so obnoxious.
They're always eating burgers. They're always holding shotguns.
And I love Mexicans. The way they mow my lawn.
They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on.
Uh huh. 'Cause that's the way they role.
You've got to go big like an Israeli nose.
If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy, they're
Out of control like a Chinese driver.

Verse 2
I love the Middle East, but how do they handle
Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.
I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they're cool, but
They're always high, so don't let them fool ya.
And I love them Puerto Ricans,
Even though they wash their ass about once a weekend.
I'm just joking. If you didn't know then
You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland.

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Verse 3
Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell
If you love the outback redneck Australians,
And the crooked teeth of an English dude
Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth.
And how could anyone hate the French.
Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.
Brazilian girls is what you want,
Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.

Verse 4
I love Africans, but hold up a second.
National Geographic says they're all butt-naked.
Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes.
They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose.
Uh oh! They're all on my checklist,
Even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast.
They're stereotypes, and if you believe them,
Then your brain is small like a Korean's penis.

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
(repeat 8x)

Chorus
I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. 

The Stereotypes Song

Grandma Got a Facebook

Tig Ol' Bitties - (Your Favorite Martian Music Video)

YourFavoriteMartian-Stalkin' Your Mom

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkjsPuCl0p4

LYRICS: 

This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people, which just so happens to be— my other favorite kind of people.

You know the ones that like to you know; hurt themselves bro? Skateboard ollie bro, kickflip, split their lip bro?... Kick me in the nuts, bro? You get what I’m saying, right?


White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(Bad Michael, go to your room!)

Verse 1: 

If you poke me on my arm, I bruise easily,
So I only quarterback in the Football League,

I like to watch porn, I can fap for days
And my favorite potato chips are Lays (because they’re white)

I take weird drugs like ecstasy,
Mushrooms, Crystal Meth, and LSD,

We put it in a pipe, or a homemade bong,
And watch out for the priest, he will rape your son,

And most of us will die trying out for Fear Factor,
I guess that’s why they say I’m just a country-loving, deer-hunting, rabbit-eating, redneck, inbreeding, beer-drinking, small penis…. did I mention we drive a tractor?

We're red when we’re mad, when we’re sick, we’re green,
Only race in the world that eats sardines, 

White girls, flat butts, and I know that’s mean,
But if you try to eat the booty, taste like saltines, 
(Back far away from that anus)

A white woman came to me to bash my song,
Until she realized I was black and then she…. zipped her purse?

White people, I get bullied in school, 
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, 
White People

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(See this is probably why all those white kids shoot up schools)

Hold up, hold up; we can’t have a white song without any country music in it.
We all like country music, nawh-nah- no-hum-nawh
You never understand what I’m saying, nawh-nah-nawh-nah nah nahnah nannah humh NAWR.

But if you ever come to Texas…. come chill with me on my porch,
‘Cause we all got shotguns, and we all commute by horse,

We have farms, we like to mosh, We like Family GUYYY and we like Tosh!!! I guess my point here is… if you’re white, we automatically like you

White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, Can’t jump that high, 
So if you tryna lose the cops, find a fence nearby
White people, 

White People
Since 76, being jerks making other races look like sh**,
White People
(Seriously, all of us are racist)

White People,
I know you can’t stand me,
But we all still evolved from a chimpanzee
White People

Alright, this is probably also the most racist song I’ve ever written, but if you laughed, you’re racist too…. So I don’t feel bad…. besides…. it’s not racist if I'm human. Get it? The human race? Ha, ha, ha, that’s how white people laugh..

Download on iTunes

The White People Song

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85tr8h0BjVk

LYRICS:

Intro: Hola Jorge! Andale, andale, arriba, arriba—  I don’t even know if I said that right. Sorry, I don’t speak Mexican. Ay yo Jorge, can you hand me a burrito? Por favor?

Verse 1:

I am a Mexican, my card is greenish,
My last name is probably Gonzalez Martinez,
I’d help you mow your lawn, but me no speaky English,
That’s why my only job is selling tacos or cleaning,

I don’t drink alcohol, less it's tequila,
I hate when people say tor-tilla… bitch, it’s tortilla,
I don’t need a SUV, or an umbrella,
Why? I got a donkey and sombrero,

Because I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS 
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Verse 2:
I am a Mexican, yes, I speak Spanish,
But only when you’re around, so you can’t understand it,
Yes I like nachos, dipped in Mexican salsa,
Yo quiero Taco Bell, until they shot my chihuahua,

If you’re Latino, or latina, then you’re Mexican
If you’re from Spain or Argentina, you’re still Mexican,
If you speak any Portuguese, you’re still Mexican
And if your name is Luis, then you’re Mexican

I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we are illegal, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Bridge:

I work as a maid for white people and it’s probably because their kids are messy,
And because they can afford me, it’s only like a penny a week but you know...


Verse 3 (rap):

Hola, homie, I’m in your garden with a machete,
The students in college hate me cause they don’t mess with them essays,
I’m a laker just like Kobe, I built my house with adobe, 
I’m teaching my black friends how to swim…. haha… because...


CHORUS:
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

The Mexican People Song

Markiplier Animated- AMERICAN HISTORY 101

EPILEPTIC TECHNO - (Your Favorite Martian music video) 

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Dick Figures Season 2 dance anthem finale!! Thanks to everyone who submitted animation to the greatest music video ever made!

Bath Rhymes

Road Rage - YFM

We're a fake cartoon band who writes comedy songs. We're 100% super-duper serious about the subject matter of our songs. Yes, our balls really are the size of the earth's moon. Yes, we really do drink the tears of baby orphans. Yes, we really have sexual relations with zombies. No, seriously.

The Stereotypes Song

YourFavoriteMartian

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