I Just Wouldn't Be Without You

Alesis Test

I found this song on my laptop. Its a song off of our 2016 album "Say Goodbye," and I gotta be honest I do not recall recording this at all.

The Ledge (Sleepytime Sessions)

Waste Management (demo)

the best laid plans
don’t always stay the way you made them
its a roll of the dice, a luck of the draw
are we going to make it through at all

each day a new lesson to learn
and if I miss it I will remember
the sting of the strike the lasting bruise
I swear i’ll never raise my voice to you

I open my third eye
but still refuse to listen to wisdom
enlightened but dumb
Id be a shaman if I had comprehension 

Pour me out 
I want nothing more
Than to be an empty vessel
That sails for foreign shores
Shut my mouth
Still my shaking limbs
Help me to speak slower 
And to always listen

A pin in a map
Haven’t we passed this same spot before
Admit that I’m lost
I either own mistakes or blame it on someone

Yeah I should have known better
I could have done myself a favor
I guess I’m stupid I am dumb
I’m ugly I’m a failure

Pour me out
I want nothing more
Than to be an empty vessel
That sails for foreign shores
Shut my mouth
Still my shaking limbs
Help me to see others
Not focus on my own sin

Note To Self

I was sick and I was dying
All of my loved ones gathered by my bed
Ignorant, I held the traitors hand
And in a few hours I was finally dead

I wore a smile through my embalming
For the relief, I can finally rest
From tearful farewells from my family
To the villainous victory, I will be vindicated (don’t forget me)

How could I die if I was never alive
I’d never make a home in the physical life
Am I a spirit in a shell or have I lost my mind
Whatever life I had, call it a good first try

I climbed out of that petty pine box
And I walked among the brimming graves
I hope one day I’m in the Book Of Life
But I was turned away at the gates of light

How could I die if I was never alive
I’d never make a home in the physical life
Am I a spirit in a shell or have I lost my mind
Whatever life I had, call it a good first try

Good First Try

I dropped my phone on the carpet
And I ran to her arms
“This is the day that I change”
Leaving the doctor and
We cry in the car
“Was this the day that you changed?”

Be well my spirit
Lift my head and search for joy
Be well my heart, and please search for joy

I see a man who is roughly my age
Pushing a stroller down 29th Street
As he smokes a cigarette he talks on the phone
I picture myself stick a blade through his ribs

As I await trial I reflect on my past
Maybe God shielded me from further pain
But how can a God who allows evil things
Be the .one who delivers me from my shame

Be well my spirit
What have I done to fall from your favor
Be well my spirit, please forgive me

When my dad was my age he already had kids
I wasn’t led down the same path I guess
The next ring I get will be the last one I wear
Love is a journey I can’t wait to get there

I will be patient and wait for the day
When you break the news and I kiss your face
When the time is right and I know it will be
Love is a journey you’re taking with me

Be well my spirit
Lift my head and accept grace
Be well my spirit
And let each day be the day that I change

When The Time Is Right

Unarmed

"Stop talking about me, and leave me alone."

Mothy