first blue now purple

--lyrics--
I just wanna hold, hold her forever
I just wanna be, the one she loves
Pur-pur-ple lights in her bedroom
Pur-pur-ple neon glow
Her favorite flower tulip
Eyes just like the ocean
I promise her I’ll make it
Get all of this motion
Pur-pur-ple that’s her favorite color
Pur-pur-ple I’m in love

Purple glow in her photos that she sending back
Dark hair, chill vibe and I’m all about that
First class, when we go out on vacation
Not real, but eventually I’ll make it
Told her, I’ll hold her, until the end of time
Promise, I love her, no need to deny
No need to deny, everything gon be alright
Reaching past the sky, purple, neon lights

I just wanna hold, hold her forever
I just wanna be, the one she loves
Pur-pur-ple lights in her bedroom
Pur-pur-ple neon glow
Oh-oh-oh
(Pur-pur-ple, pur-pur-ple)
Oh-oh-oh
(Pur-pur-ple, pur-pur-ple)
I just wanna hold, hold her forever
I just wanna be, the one she loves
Pur-pur-ple lights in her bedroom
Pur-pur-ple neon glow

purple (prod. red eyez)

unrest

prod by icantsleeplol & hvci
mixed and mastered by icantsleeplol & hvci

thank u @hvci for helping me with some of the layers to help my vocals more impactful ♡ 

and ofc w/ @xav0id

(i’m experimenting with my vocals and my voice in general to see what it’s capable of. i don’t wanna be limited to one genre. i wanna push past my comfort zone and explore different sounds with my voice)

enjoy:)

lyrics:

@icantsleeplol -
they asked me to smile
so i did
now i can’t tell when i actually mean it

i learned to read the room too well
picked up their moods, and forgot myself
said the lines they’d rather hear
kept my truth in second gear

they liked me better watered down
so i kept my head and voice low-bound
never asked them what they meant
just played the part and paid the rent

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
they never wanted all of me
just the version they could keep clean
so i edited my every thought
to fit inside the mold they bought

@icantsleeplol -
empty tent, the lights still burn
but no one waits for my return
they loved the laugh, not the cost
they clapped so loud, i got lost

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
empty tent, applause fades quick
left alone with what won't fix
i give and give, then disappear
while no one even shifts their ear

@icantsleeplol -
i swallowed pride and played polite
convinced myself it felt alright
but every nod, every demand
left another thing i couldn't stand

i tried to slow the spinning down
but silence just became more loud
i gave too much and asked too little
and broke apart right down the middle

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
they smiled, so i assumed it worked
but underneath, it always hurt
and though i tried to keep it smooth
the pressure cracked the parts i moved
 
@xav0id -
empty tent, still looks the same
but i don’t walk out how i came
they called it charm, called it grace
but missed the tremble in my face

empty tent, the echo's mean
i’m still stuck on what they’ve seen
if this was love, or just a guess
why did i fall apart to impress?

@icantsleeplol w/ @xav0id
i’ve memorized what pleases them
but not what brings me back again
i dance around their fragile moods
and call it kindness as i lose

they say i’m calm, they say i’m nice
but only when i pay the price
and every time i try to breathe
i wonder what they’d let me keep

@xav0id - 
empty tent, lights flicker slow
no one left to tell me “go”
but i still bow, still play it cool
still scared of not fitting the rule

empty tent, just me and air
i gave too much, and no one cared
the quiet hits a little late...
but louder than the love they faked

i’m still here
they just forgot
and that’s the part
that hurts the most

empty tent w/ xav0id & hvci

produced by lxst boy

-lyrics-

(lxst boy)
Yeah, this town was left a mess
Empty streets and words we can't take back
Said I wanted out, well not so fast
'Cause you don't care
How many times will we fall back
Till we can't justify our past
Darling, I was under attack
And you weren't there

Ghost town, we are on our own now
You're taking what is left of me
You stripped me to my bones now
You lie to me when you talk to me
Then get mad at me when I broke down
You're sidestepping the conversations
Got so complacent all around
Tell me what you want from me
Don't run from me I promise you I'd stay
Telling me you ain't wanting me
Still I try to save the day
Showing up on my porch steps
Girl, I think you went insane
Our perfect hurricane

Yeah, this town was left a mess
Empty streets and words we can't take back
Said I wanted out, well not so fast
'Cause you don't care
How many times will we fall back
Till we can't justify our past
Darling, I was under attack
And you weren't there

(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)

(joroll)
The lighthouse hums but it won't guide me home
I trace your name into the glass just to watch it go
If it's not the storm the quiet always swallows me
(It's funny how the cold don't hurt until it starts to leave)
She said "Oh
Better watch your mouth when you snap on back like that"
But no
You only follow the rules when they work for you
Baby you can hit me up but I won't slide through
I got poison on my tongue and it ain't no booze
I would love it, to love you
I'll tell you the truth
But you ain't on my side and I never lose

(lxst boy)
Yeah, this town was left a mess
Empty streets and words we can't take back
Said I wanted out, well not so fast
'Cause you don't care
How many times will we fall back
Till we can't justify our past
Darling, I was under attack
And you weren't there

(Oh, g-g-ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)
(Oh, ghost town, ghost town)
(Ghost town, ghost town, ghost town)

FALLBACK w/ Joroll

crash and burn

prod by stezzyxl
w/ hvci
w/ xav0id

enjoy

lyrics:
every step i take
every song i made
was never close enough to heal the stains around my name
every lie i made
with every smile i faked
was never close enough to heal the wounds inside my veins

i open up, but they just always shut the door
i never speak to anyone like anymore
i lost my friends, and then my heart along the floor
i sweared to myself not to end up like before

3 am in the morning
i can barely sleep tonight
my body is giving me warnings
day by day, my chest is tight
i’ve been though it
i’ll be fine
swear to god i’ll be alright
ive been though it
i’m alright
swear to god ill be all fine

the air so thick
it grabs my throat
and i cannot breathe
something don’t click
brushing off my shoulders
i’ve been here, i do admit
looking at my options
have no choice, but too destroy
melancholy love
melancholy love
i try to avoid

(xavoid - )
quiet glass
worn thin
city hum
low and dim
lines shift under low light
hours fold into night
cold rain on empty streets
shapes dissolve where walls meet
breath slows in vacant air
holding onto something rare

names drift past like quiet streams
tracing edges of my dreams
your voice lingers in the hush
like the last page of a rush
windows hold a silver stain
footsteps fade but leave the pain
each moment bends into a line
folded under time’s design

(hvci - )
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile

melancholy w/ xav0id & hvci

Listen to "when my phone lights up" by raihan
https://too.fm/wmplu

Lyrics:
i'm terrified
and you stayed here in my mind
with an eviction notice six months old

i realized
that i'm nothing without you
i know its stupid, i can't help myself

but i still flinch when my phone lights up
hoping its you
but knowing its not

said i still flinch when my phone lights up
when my phone lights up

i'm running through
every photo and text
and i wish that this song had a happy end

i wish i knew
if we would get our time
to meet again as friends in the next life

but if there's somebody else
just know i wish you well
but there's no wishing wells to help us fix this mess

and if this is meant to be
then why am i so weak
i guess that healing doesn't mean that i'd forget

coz i'd still flinch when my phone lights up

coz i'd still flinch when my phone lights up

oh when my phone lights up
when my phone lights up
when my phone lights up
when my phone lights up

said when my phone-
when my phone lights up

(we're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed)
(please check the number and dial again)

when my phone lights up master

die tonight (feat. Autrioly)

wrote this about the struggles my best friend went through

rotting with the moon (neverforever)

So quick to take the love from a lover
To throw away and run to another 
Hard to believe you ever loved me at all 
The way you move on you make it look like it’s easy to fall
But in reality your actually chasing the highs 
The rush you get from lies, and the shit that you hide 
Cause you don’t know how to regulate how you feel inside 
You avoid and avoid you need healing 
You whisper sweet nothings cause you know i love the feeling 
You tell me white lies, it took a while for me to recognize 
All the games that you play before you runaway and hide  
And it’s a shame you need dopamine to feel complete 
And it’s a shame you need validation
I find it fascinating 
You come in and out of my life it’s contaminating my brain
How you’re stuck in your ways, stay away if you won’t change 

stay away if you won’t change 
but i hope you change

doistillfillthevoid? [prod. TresGenio]

mix & mastered in zaini’s room 
produced by @zainibeats & @skinnyatlas

when my phone lights up master

static ;

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