prod by marlon & jacob vallen

its hard to feel proud
wonder when i fell behind
i cant find a reason now
between the lines

need something i can lean on
just something for myself
people change, it seems im the only one that cant move on at all

sleep away my days, its got me feeling useless
theres alot to say, when i dont i feel like a nuisance 

sleep away i lay awake
don't follow me, my dream is fake
my blood still flows it circulates
clown on stage 

not everything revolves around you, its a hard truth to tell, all this circus has to end
i've been barely proud of myself, this is where i dwell, no more masks we used to lend
from now on it's only no repent, i just do my thing, then i got no one to blame
but in the end i did resent, think i didn't think, enough to see flames

proud w/ marlon

"fragile" produced by: ilyl1ght
inspired by xona

lyrics:
its getting worse now, worse now
ill work it out
calm down, calm down?
ill find a way out, way out?
now ill regret the day i let you see my face

i lay out on the floor
i wither to my core
feels like that i'm at war
think i felt this before
think i felt this before
think i felt -
im worried on what id do
new year, new me and new you
bad timing cant follow through
im sorry but who are you?
i cant be doing this
my face inside my hands i guess i'm used to it
dont want my friends to know
i got this on my own
the wall they make me sick
i think there caving in

its getting worse now, worse now
i need to calm down, calm down?

so tell me what do you want from me
oh
my body's fragile and i feel so weak
i'm so sick and tired of the ones who speak
speak lies
speak, speak, speak, speak
so tell me what do you want from me
so tell me what do you want from me

fragile

i'll scream
your name
so loud
it echos away

i can't breathe
oh ur not right here with me
oh such a shame
shame

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

i want this
im watching
like tell me
how do you want love?
im nauseuos
i lost it
right before us
cant help it
im obsessed
with the way you touch
i need you
i cant help 
but feel im not enough


its all okay
maybe that was a lie
you wont ever know
i wont see your face
i do this for nothing
i wake up 
just to find out
its all the same

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

oh what a mess that i have made [muzcean]

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

ty mistral for the guitar <3

original song <3 : https://soundcloud.com/guardinmusic/inside

Lyrics

I bet you like the way that I
Sit inside on a Friday night
Doing nothing with my life
While you're out partying with other guys
But I'm not wise and these aren't lies
According to you it's all in my mind
But I see the things that they post online
And it makes me sick to my fucking spine
I worry a lot about the day you leave
'Cause the day you leave is the day I leave
And I think too much about suicide
About killing time, about time I try
Something new
'Cause this shit gets old
But I love the way that she says "I love you"
And I tried many times to rewind to the days you were mine
And I tried many times to erase what we made, what have I done?
'Cause a part of me died when you left in November that night
I think he's right, beside you telling you what to say to me, why?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?

inside (guardin cover)

Vails x Mackk - not so special
Prod. By Mackk
Vocals from vails 
Lyrics below:

You think of me special, but I ain’t shit
Got a lotta issues I can’t fix
Heart been cracked, yeah it’s got no stitch
Every time you love me, it just don’t stick

I been running from myself again
Tryna fake a smile, play pretend
You see gold where there’s rust and pain
You hold on tight, but I just can’t stay the same

Yeah yeah I break down when the world gets loud
Yeah yeah Smile on my face but I’m not proud
Yeah yeah I’m just a ghost in a fragile shell
Yeah yeah Been through heaven, but I stayed in hell

I been runnin’ from the pain I feel inside,
Smile on my face but it’s all a disguise,
Bottle it up, yeah, I keep it in tight,
Pray for the day that I’ll finally feel right

You see hope where I see my flaws,
I see cracks where you see no walls,
I keep falling no hands to hold,
Heart too numb, it’s already cold

It’s already cold it’s already cold
And now I’m freezing, now you’re leaving
Now I’m grieving baby why you leaving me 

You think of me special, but I ain’t shit
Got a lotta issues I can’t fix
Heart been cracked, yeah it’s got no stitch
Every time you love me, it just don’t stick

I been running from myself again
Tryna fake a smile, play pretend
You see gold where there’s rust and pain
You hold on tight, but I just can’t stay the same

#rap #melodic #vails

Not so special

P. nomansland 

Support my friend enyu!

https://on.soundcloud.com/qUpx1yH6fYpXyzuuwE


Lyrics~

(Swamp) 

My lifes in a spiral 
And I just can’t seem to catch a break
When I tried this shit the passive way 
they hit me at a faster pace 
It was a massacre up there on that caligo hill
Sends A shiver down your serabelem, signal the chills 

Ok yeah I’m back up on attack, there’s just no foldin us 
Grab that ammo load it up 
It’s gettin kinda quiet on this California western front 
Give it all you can until you can’t and hope the war is almost done 
Shell shocked, you’ve had enough 

There you go, you’re telling yourself that never again 
Will you put you’re life on the edge for something that somebody said 
The battle goes on in your head 
And shurly you’ll face a certain death 
But I guess you love that shit because you never left 

(Enyu)

Loaded chambers caught in a deadlock
choke on me like a tight knot
rewinding all of my future plans
hailing down on me till my heart stop
yeah, but i’m still in it
guess i’m twisted
drawn to where i fucking bled
need some god to grant my wishes
rather than be fucking dead

i scrape my wounds when its dark
a shiver down my extremities
and while the whole world fell apart
i stand upfront with serenity
and when I turn around
the time has come for confession
to learn a beautiful lesson
i’m heading outbound
to fend off my imperfections

(Swamp)

Hopefully when the dust settles I’ll be alright 
All intact and alive 
The only loss being time 
Trying to figure out another way to save myself 
From the war in my head, it’s been a living hell

never ending spiral w/ enyu

lyrics ⬇️  

 I made this song on October 14th

its 2 am and you wont talk back
so how should i feel if you off of the map
tell me its real but see that its cap
i wanna walk with you 
for life you wanna take a nap
i got a solid scoop
you wanna lie and you wanna love
so i can’t rock wit you
even if its all that i got left
i tried to hike and it was a trek so it wasn’t worth the move
if its an emergency dial the number an ima put on my shoes
im gonna be there real soon
when i get there i hope ur not upset
i wanna share it with you no bunkbed
said youll be there but you want me to function
dont give a heads up act like its nothin
you couldn’t expect me to sit here breath girl cuz ima choke
you gon see you got ropes around my throat

no no dont remind me what you said
id rather take one to the chest
not a word of it made sense
maybe wed be better- better off as frie-

i couldnt even finish what i was gonna say
cuz it hurt my head too much i wish i could explain
ima keep on trying as long as i see a flame
i jus hate the option you wanna wash it down the drain
what could i say
i know its late
lemme explain
i dont wanna leave you but if u wanna go
lemme tell you everything you wanna know 
but you bolted on a heart of steel

when you touch me ill be colder than November feels
and i know that its been harder than you wanted
when we started i knew you were never honest
now were off it every night and every time i tty i feel like ima fold and die
maybe this all i wanted - its not
you said you were so exhausted 
i should drop
i would rather be alone than ever wanna hear you talk
if u jus gon give me all of that trash i would rather stop
i cannot rock wit no litter bug id rather date a rock. 🪨

litter bug (sk8miles)

eviction notice

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

what if i never picked up the phone
what if he never even called at all
i dont know, but i dont care
theres a reason why im still here
what if the tide wasnt so far in
winds a little calmer, so i could swim
or have i sinned ?
what if i never went away with my friends
and i spent the last minutes on a call with him
and i got to say goodbye, and that this is the end
at least id have some fucking closure on this life that i live
and what if he never accpeted any help from the meds
cause his children needed longer and they offered him that
just to leave him no time at all
i know its hard to accept but im falling flat

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

claws

lil vault drop in honor of my brother tiedforsilver getting married ❤️

lyrics

i’ll fight this
feeling but i can’t shake it off me
since when did doing this become a need?
fearing that my addictions may lead
to complacency 

i’ll fight this feeling but i can’t shake it off of me
since when did doing this become something that i need
i fear that my addictions may lead to complacency 
my self-destructive habits will become the death of me

if i don’t give them up
my life will end abrupt
so if you gave i fuck 
you would come interrupt 
and save me from corrupt 
thoughts that get me stuck
knee high deep under the fucking mud

i’ve been scared but i got nowhere to run
you think it’s fair when you’re the only one
who’s having fun
i’m fucking done
nothings new underneath the fucking sun

i wish i cared but i don’t and that’s just who i am
i’ll give you what you want to help or make you understand 
that moving forward in this life was never part of my plan

but please tell me that you’ll see me in the morning
you know where i’ll be wasting time bed rotting 
the songs i write are like a pointless fucking story
i know it’s bad but imma hit this till im coughing blood

never knew what is was like to be understood
till i met you now im gone and i wish i would, have
checked on you more often
please don’t be dead or in a fucking coffin yuh

i still remember 
your face that december
grey skies in the winter
cold nights make my hands tremor 

i’ve been getting sick of tryna find out where you went
asking anyone around but answers aren’t that confident 
yelling at myself like i was in a fucking argument 
maybe i look insane but that’s just fucking, that’s just part of it

i’ll never know where you went and maybe that’s okay
i just hope that you are in a better place
i wish you would’ve left hints that you’d come back some day
just know a part of me won’t let your memory fade
i would never let your memory fade

oh what a mess that i have made [muzcean]

yungcray