one of my favorite songs, God this brings back mems

if it means something

a bouquet growing in your bones (ft. lil lotus) [prod.killedmyself]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when theres nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do
every second awake
every step that I take
is another one back
hoping one day you'll ask
if I'm okay
i'll tell you everything if you care to know
what its like in this hell
hoping your doing well
so numb I cannot feel
anything but this guilt inside of me
blame myself for things I can't change
all because of you
I love the way that you fucked me
hate every something that we could have been
again and again and again and again
why can't you just love me for who I am
why am I always so fucking upset
all of my pain and my love is the same
it comes from a place with no one else to blame
other than me its all self inflected
wounds that bleed inside and no one can see
self destruction is such a beautiful thing
how does it feel to watch me suffering
how does it feel to watch me suffering while i'm
wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when there nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do

baby i'm wishing you well
scratching the walls in my cell
the clarity rings like a bell
if only i could say farewell
to the winds that carry me
into the shadows that follow me
they will treat you well
don't forget to carry me
in your heart 
feed my body to my enemies

self destruction (feat. LOCAL ZERO) [prod. Charlie Shuffler]

rzrblade (prod. prince gravy)

Fantasy Camp & Lil Zubin collab EP 'Another Heart 2 Break.'

Mixed by Nick Colletti. 
Cover photo by Matt Wren.
Cover text by @vesthetiic.

Another Heart 2 Break

backseat w/ zubin + cold hart (foxwedding)

video - https://youtu.be/9mTGTjh39Kc

mix/master - @youngburial

nowadays I wonder
if you cared at all
I'm anxious from the topic
and the adderall

if I tell you that I'm sorry
and its all my fault
will you fuck me when its over
and the pills wear off 

lately I don't want no new friends
really I jus wan blow my head
maybe it's drugs I'm missing
really I'm numb to all this

outside I look calm
but in my head I'm fucked
like why you think
I always keep that bottle tucked

they talk about my life
as if they're living it
like we didn't crawl thru mud
to get to past where we been

nowadays i just am not sure
still giving everything
still need more

nowadays i just am not sure
I'm not sure
I'm not sure

nowadays I wonder
if you cared at all
I'm anxious from the topic
and the adderall

if I tell you that im sorry
and its all my fault
will you Fuck me when its over
and the pills wear off

lately I don't want no new friends
really I jus wan blow my head
mostly it's just drugs I'm missing
really I'm just numb to all this

anxious from the topic & the adderall

I cant get over those green eyes
so pale but she's so full of life
I've never seen somebody so lovely
wonder if there's really something
or if I'm just fucking up again
I cant get over those green eyes
her hair her face the way she smiles
im fuckin dead
I love hearing about how you've been
thought about you every single day since
cant believe someone so perfect exists
I cant get over those green eyes
I swear her heart has flowers inside
so beautiful
words cant describe they don't even come close
send you my love inside of a blue rose
just say goodbye and ill leave you alone
I cant get over those green eyes
her hands are so cold just like her fuckin heart
swear that I love how you tear me apart
draw with my blood like its more of your art
miss you so much but I know that you arent
missing me the same
feel so alone now
thought you cared about me
did you ever even feel anything
or was it all in my head
was it all in my head

her heart has flowers inside (prod. slidinmoon)

follow me on twitter @jakkystealurgrl
prod/mix/master by meee

i’m blind 
why’d i get attached like last time 
she been on my brain now i’m tongue tied
ya i’m tongue tied
I don’t even really know why i go try ya
  
and i’m like why  
why is she still on my mind
tried to get her off my recent search but there she fuckin lies again

hey i know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now i want her all day x2
now she playing with my brain ya
give a boi a break like wait 

i’m okay despite of everything
tell her i’m okay despite of everything 

Pull to the side I don’t think you wanna know
how I feel I’ll shut before u wanna go 
I been thinkin’ bout the rest   
I’ve been doing better drugs i’ve been blownin up a check ya 

I don’t even need this now
she just make me feel a type of way somehow 
I don’t really wanna give in quite yet but god i kinda know 
she don’t even love me so I gotta go… whoa

hey I know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now I want her all day
now she playing with my brain
give a boi a break like wait 

I know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now I want her all day x2
now she playing with my brain
give a boi a break like wait

Give a Boi A Break

where do you turn when everything falls apart (+ shrimp)

spotify/apple music

Where Do You Turn When Everything Falls Apart (+ shrimp)

Mixed by IOF & Bangss
Mastered by Bangss

bangss:

In my bed i feel you wide awake
In my head i hear you everyday
But i cant wait till it all fades away
And i cant make out what your trying to say

I see monsters in my room at night
I put my mattress on floor so theres nowhere to hide
I keep my closet doors open with a light inside
The thing about all of these monsters is we look alike

Are you the one who sits behind my eyes at night rewatching all my memories like my heads a big movie screen inside
Are you the one who likes to take their precious time devising every line i write and speak
Are you the one who makes assumptions about other people and how they lead their lives. 
Are you the one who keeps me bothered
Ill wake up and check my phone screen one more time x3

Are you the one who takes my hand so frequently and tells me how its easily avoidable being beat up and used again
Are you the one who says that im your everything and nothing with a sudden change breath. 
Are you the one whos so self conscious lets be honest with ourselves for just one time
Are you the one whos so hypnotic make me forget all the trouble in my life, in my life, end my life

a bouquet growing in your bones (ft. lil lotus) [prod.killedmyself]

yung hopeful

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JEROMY BARKER

-VapidAttica-

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