[Intro]
Yeah
Okay
YungSplashGod bout to go in
Ya'll ready know
Yeah

[Verse 1]
I mean where the fudge should I even really start
I'm boutta kill your ass off like Stark
Boutta knock this track right out the park
Sam was out the whole week, you was at home
But your new home really is the friendzone
Heart's just as broke as your jumpshot
Did a jump program, still got no hops
And your girl Chris Paul yeah she loves me
You could say our relationship is Peachey
Yeah, heard you want a girl that's in good health
But maybe you should take a look at yourself
You want a girl that's got some of her own cake
Cause you 'ready cleaned it all off your plate 

[Chorus]
Yuh, Michael you a slave
Yuh, Michael you so lame
Yuh, you lose to Sam in your backyard
Yuh, you suck more than A Bernard
Cake, noodles, cereal and ice cream
You the average depressed male white teen
Say hey to a girl and they say "whoa!"
Change your name to Mike Sesserag-NO

[Verse 2]
Man, you the worst at 2K
When you shoot, we get on our knees and pray
Did I mention you got no right hand
You're worse than 2019 Cleveland
Speaking of wack NBA teams
Don't think your Blazers can hide from me
Ya'll lost to the Warriors in 4 games
Blew leads and they didn't have KD

[Verse 3]
You always slide on the ground, on your knees
Never slide in with some girlies
By the way, haven't asked, how's Mikayla
She still in the grade below, she still hate ya?
Man I think you should've gone to my school
We need a new mascot, we could use you
The only girls that go for you are stalkers
Surprised that you weren't the one that stalked her
And we all know you're not the favourite son
Sam cooks you like a hot cross bun
Your dad called you Michael for a reason
Expectation failed, call it high treason
Michael Phelps, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan
You can't swim, sing, or play, you so boring
When you sing man I wish that I could go deaf
Put attachment to your mouth, get supressed
When you open your mouth I hear "choo choo"
I don't know if it's braces or some fruit loops
You place Batman cause it's single-player
Single like your own life, you need a prayer
I just killed you, gave you a hard smack
2014, semi-finals, flashback
I know you'll come back at me with your own track
So I'll sit here with Mikayla on my lap

[Chorus]
Yuh, Michael you a slave
Yuh, Michael you so lame
Yuh, you lose to Sam in your backyard
Yuh, you suck more than A Bernard
Cake, noodles. cereal and ice cream
You the average depressed male white teen
Say hey to a girl and they say "whoa!"
Change your name to Mike Sesserag-NO

[Outro]
Yeah
I really had to go in man
Sorry it had to be like this
It had to be like this
This was the only way
Damn
I really just went in 
Sorry
Don't worry Mike
This was all fun and games
But I had to snap
You were getting to much
But
We love you
Or do we...