3 Big Balls

4 big guys

3 big balls

DigBar- Crazy Rap (Colt 45)

BIG DICK RANDY 3

BIG DICK RANDY 3: THE END

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkjsPuCl0p4

LYRICS: 

This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people, which just so happens to be— my other favorite kind of people.

You know the ones that like to you know; hurt themselves bro? Skateboard ollie bro, kickflip, split their lip bro?... Kick me in the nuts, bro? You get what I’m saying, right?


White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(Bad Michael, go to your room!)

Verse 1: 

If you poke me on my arm, I bruise easily,
So I only quarterback in the Football League,

I like to watch porn, I can fap for days
And my favorite potato chips are Lays (because they’re white)

I take weird drugs like ecstasy,
Mushrooms, Crystal Meth, and LSD,

We put it in a pipe, or a homemade bong,
And watch out for the priest, he will rape your son,

And most of us will die trying out for Fear Factor,
I guess that’s why they say I’m just a country-loving, deer-hunting, rabbit-eating, redneck, inbreeding, beer-drinking, small penis…. did I mention we drive a tractor?

We're red when we’re mad, when we’re sick, we’re green,
Only race in the world that eats sardines, 

White girls, flat butts, and I know that’s mean,
But if you try to eat the booty, taste like saltines, 
(Back far away from that anus)

A white woman came to me to bash my song,
Until she realized I was black and then she…. zipped her purse?

White people, I get bullied in school, 
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, 
White People

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(See this is probably why all those white kids shoot up schools)

Hold up, hold up; we can’t have a white song without any country music in it.
We all like country music, nawh-nah- no-hum-nawh
You never understand what I’m saying, nawh-nah-nawh-nah nah nahnah nannah humh NAWR.

But if you ever come to Texas…. come chill with me on my porch,
‘Cause we all got shotguns, and we all commute by horse,

We have farms, we like to mosh, We like Family GUYYY and we like Tosh!!! I guess my point here is… if you’re white, we automatically like you

White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, Can’t jump that high, 
So if you tryna lose the cops, find a fence nearby
White people, 

White People
Since 76, being jerks making other races look like sh**,
White People
(Seriously, all of us are racist)

White People,
I know you can’t stand me,
But we all still evolved from a chimpanzee
White People

Alright, this is probably also the most racist song I’ve ever written, but if you laughed, you’re racist too…. So I don’t feel bad…. besides…. it’s not racist if I'm human. Get it? The human race? Ha, ha, ha, that’s how white people laugh..

Download on iTunes

The White People Song

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85tr8h0BjVk

LYRICS:

Intro: Hola Jorge! Andale, andale, arriba, arriba—  I don’t even know if I said that right. Sorry, I don’t speak Mexican. Ay yo Jorge, can you hand me a burrito? Por favor?

Verse 1:

I am a Mexican, my card is greenish,
My last name is probably Gonzalez Martinez,
I’d help you mow your lawn, but me no speaky English,
That’s why my only job is selling tacos or cleaning,

I don’t drink alcohol, less it's tequila,
I hate when people say tor-tilla… bitch, it’s tortilla,
I don’t need a SUV, or an umbrella,
Why? I got a donkey and sombrero,

Because I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS 
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Verse 2:
I am a Mexican, yes, I speak Spanish,
But only when you’re around, so you can’t understand it,
Yes I like nachos, dipped in Mexican salsa,
Yo quiero Taco Bell, until they shot my chihuahua,

If you’re Latino, or latina, then you’re Mexican
If you’re from Spain or Argentina, you’re still Mexican,
If you speak any Portuguese, you’re still Mexican
And if your name is Luis, then you’re Mexican

I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we are illegal, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Bridge:

I work as a maid for white people and it’s probably because their kids are messy,
And because they can afford me, it’s only like a penny a week but you know...


Verse 3 (rap):

Hola, homie, I’m in your garden with a machete,
The students in college hate me cause they don’t mess with them essays,
I’m a laker just like Kobe, I built my house with adobe, 
I’m teaching my black friends how to swim…. haha… because...


CHORUS:
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

The Mexican People Song

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO HERE: https://youtu.be/GejQfZPQpKo

CHALLENGE: Grab some mouthwash, take a huge sip, and hold it in your mouth for as long as you can. Then hit Play. Comment with the minutes/seconds where you failed, or if you passed, comment with "Passed!". Share with someone who you think will fail.

No Offense

Download on iTunes!

Try Not To Laugh

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpNkfaMCFqE

Satire alert. 

The Asian People Song

Rucka Rucka Ali - Justin's Beaver

The Arab People Song. Watch the video on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEk7hT3wU1E&t=2s

LYRICS:

Verse 1: 
 
We don’t like tennis shoes, we wear sandals
And yeah, we have sex with goats and ride camels 
I live in a desert in Abu Dhabi,
so I squat behind a cactus when I have to potty,
Roll your tongue on the R’s, 
Whoops, dropped a bomb, Allahu Ahkbar
I play the flute and snakes come out of jars,
I caught a flight, plane didn’t get far,

And you might not believe it, man,
But during the winter, I ski in sand,
And the TSA was like “Man, how did you get out of Iraq…”--- I ran. Damn...


Chorus:

Watch out, Watch out
Rasheed's got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Abdul-Jabar got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Amir's got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Malcolm X got a bomb!

Verse 2:
I’m a billionaire, check my Equifax
Always wearing turbins and bedsheet hats
An Arabian day in the life,
See I have 10 leashes, one for each wife,
And I have 10 bombs, one for each flight,
That I put my wives on if they speak without permission,
Then “Mommy, look! There’s a plane in the airrrrr!"
(BOOM) uh, I swear it was just there...
We’re all Muslim, Salaam
And we all live in a cave, Saddam
Where we all eat lots of hummus…. yum!
My first website was the bomb dot com, UM….
 
And you might not believe it, man,
But during the winter, I ski in sand,
And the TSA was like “Man, how did you get out of Iraq…”--- “Iran” damn...

Chorus: 

Watch out, watch out
Hussein got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Ramir Asheed got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Obama got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Osama bin Laden got a bomb!

(Well, not anymore...)

Verse 3:

Don’t touch my hat, it’s sacred
I can make all my wives get naked
I have a phobia, I’m afraid of BACONNNN
You need RPG? I can make it!
We own mini-marts and gas stations,
Where people buy beer to get wasted! 
Like 9/11 Victims, I take my—

Whoa whoa whoa…. dude, no— you just don’t say that. Wasted like 9-11 Victims? Fuck no. We don’t say that shit in America. You might say that shit over in Lebanon or Afghanistan or wherever the fuck you from but in America? You can get yo ass KILT out here! Take that shit out of the lyrics, right now before I shove a cactus up yo sandy ass. Right NOW! I ain’t playing…. shit!

ARAB: I’m sorry…. I didn’t know. I’m erasing it I erased it. It’s gone sir. I’m sorry.  

Me: Throw that damn falafel in the trash and focus…. (sigh) …. cue the Gotdamn music... 

As the world waits for my plans to unfoil,
During spring, I jetski on oil,
And I’ve bombed all sorts of different places and the TSA is the most racist, they be like

CHORUS:

Watch out, Watch out
Rasheed's got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Abdul-Jabar got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Amir's got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Malcolm X got a bomb!

Watch out, watch out
Hussein got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Ramir Asheed got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Obama got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Osama bin Laden got a bomb!

The Arab People Song

Download

Smoking a blunt in my new Aston
Borrowed it from a man who wants it back
Said I just gotta take it to get some crack
Oh woah in my new car

As I'm driving the cops say hey
Did we beat a black guy today?
Police pull me over and I told 'em no please
I'm Kobe

My head hit the curb that they threw me on
They said you should've fucking said that you're Lebron
They took my Aston Martin and they all went bowling
Bowling

Why am I treated this way because of my color
I thought shit would be different after Obama
But it's only racister now, it true though
Oh yeah

Trump, did you get elected here through ya man
What is your connection to the ku cucks klan?
Did you ever molest that little nigga Trudeau?

Dear White People
I got me some questions you could answer me bro
Why is you oppressing all of my-y people
Why you all pretending like you're not evil?

Dear White People
Sitting around in a fucking gazebo
Sipping on a bottle of Pellegrino
Stroking on a cute ass little fucking beagle
Oh

Why do you attack us everywhere that we go?
Telling us to park your Porsche
Guess how it affects our ego
(Lemme get your phone thing code)
Why you always bragging that you have one black amigo?
Lemme guess if does he know
That you say words like negro

You hire fucking Pablo
To cut your fucking shrub bro
But I can't get a job though
If I'm not fucking rob lowe
Everytime you do a crime the charges always got dropped
But I'm always getting thrown in prison yeah I got got
When you're up out in the street up in the morning running
And you see us and you always think we're gonna mug you
I just wanna see if you had any extra money
Why I gotta chase you when you take off running

Police on the streets all fuck with my peoples
Took my desert eagles and all my pringles
Why you always think that every brother sells crack
I'm just selling Wii Box 2s and a Dell Mac

I sleep on the street bro outside of home depot
Shoes are made of bondo, house is made at kinko's
Chilling at the red box, smoking on some red rocks
Used to be a shortstop playing with the red sox
Oh yeah

Dear White People
Why you always telling me what shit is legal
Why you take my opportunities from me bro
Why my new car now getting repo'ed

Dear White People
Sitting round listening to Flock of Seagulls
Listening to Iron Maiden and Meat Loaf
Buying fucking new shirts at Uniqlo
Oh

How the hell we ever gon get out poverty yo
All we got is EBT clothes
Some of us still wearing jncos
(Got gold where our teeth go)
Where the fuck did all them good times and the peace go?
Black on black crime cuts deep yo
Hurting ourself like emos

We're Black People
Individuality traded for hammer and sickle
Ghost of Booker T lays comatose and feeble
History repeats itself like a ripple

Mohito Burrito
Salad and Dorito
Five dollar wonton, comes with young chinko
You can get shwarma, blow up all the gringos
(Wig wog ag wig wog)
Let's have some pizza

Don't think for yourself no
Find out where you came from
Dress up like a retard
Base your life on choices of dead old people
They must've known something that we don't
Dear White People
(Now on Netflix)

Dear White People (Despacito Parody) ~ Rucka Rucka Ali

HOTT HEADZ HMMM

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Business inquiries: solarmusicrecords@gmail.com

Other inquiries:

Try Not To Laugh

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