This was supposed to be a vocal cover embedded with a gratitude message. A two-three years too late of a gratitude message. But at one point I lost my self-esteem, felt unsure sure if this was ever going to translate well because I got such an amazing gift, and I wanted to show that I appreciated it a fricken lot. 
I can't exactly remember why I didn't reach out to anyone or why I couldn't. Not sure why I let people's words get to me that my singing wouldn't be able to sound as good as others. Not sure why I had cared for their words that much, when the gift should have been about appreciating what my friends did for me in my own way. Heck, I'd come to the decision of making a cover for a gift because I never cared for such opinions in the first place. But it did, and the tracks in the session file got wiped out with no point of return. I had really thought this thing wouldn't ever see the light of the day until I found that I had ever exported the result... once. 

And well, I gotta be honest, this is not going to be the best singing you'd ever hear, nor the most revolutionary mixing you'd ever stumble upon (you could hear some noise not properly cleaned up, and holy shiz it's airy(?) too lolol)––god, I think I had no idea what I was doing then––but when I first heard it again after SUCH a long time;

I thought it was okay, and that whatever that person told me at that night was fricken bullcrap because at the end of the day, I couldn't care less about sounding like others, I couldn't give a shiz for such a not-helping comment (now that I think about it, it's such a poor criticism lmfao). AND a friend of my mine helped with the cool echoing part and I wanna show how talented she is to everyone. And I wanna thank all the peeps behind Sugeng Otanjōbi (especially @au-dee-oh-to-pee-uh). This was supposed to be about appreciating how much of an impact everyone's love has had on me. And even though I've left that god-forsaken platform that shall not be named, I'm still not gonna stop singing. I love it and I love the many friends I've made along the way because of it. It's a goodbye to that shizhole lmfao but I'm not saying goodbye to y'all. You're stuck with me. I hope y'all know that (and not mind it lolol) :))

Anyway, roll the credits!
---
本家様: *LunaP  (lovely man with lovely repertoires)
Vox: wowie I can sing wowie lol
Mix: issa me :"D i know it's shite (cool echoing part by Lee/紙飛行機)
my message to the peeps: (basically this song's lyrics)
君たちとの旅は　ここで終わり
もう背負えなくなってしまったんだ
今までありがとう　忘れないよきっと
さぁ汽車の時間だ　「さよなら」

なんて言えるわけないか
僕の夢は　僕たちの夢になって
大きくなって　重くなっていく
いっそ破って丸めて　投げたっていい
どうせ何も変わんないさ　誰も何も思わないさ
思わないさ

special thanks to: @au-dee-oh-to-pee-uh
- YT: https://youtube.com/c/audioTopia
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/audioTopia_P
- Trakteer (for Rupiahs): https://trakteer.id/audiotopia-qqwdp/
- Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/audiotopia
yeah, you bet I'm his promoter lmfao

also special mentions to Nana, Gabi, Alfa, Eve and Iris.

バッドエンドの映画は嫌いんだ (Re: Sugeng お誕生日!) [Read Description]

Manekineko is never going to reopen here *sobs*

---
作曲: Aru
歌: yours truly - I wish I could mix but this was just a preset in Garageband lmao. I just want to sing, really, that's all.

20230211 再会の終わり - karaoke is so expensive if you're singing on your own

thank you Lee for helping denoise my shitty late night cover sessions as always. you're my MVP.
---
本家様: Rerulili & Moja
Inst: ビッ栗様
Vox: me!
Mix: Lee - 紙飛行機 (is currently learning how to mix)<< she wants me to put this disclaimer

20200408 さよならミッドナイト（アコギver.）

lmao Lee is busy with online exams but I miss singing. oh well it's more than 1:30 so this is legit another check to my resolution owowowo

not saying it has to be perfect right lolol
---
本家様: DAY6
Inst: ALX
Vox: me!

20200517 congratulations (crack)

A very old recording. I did think of retaking it and for some reasons I never got to. But I'm actually quite happy the way it is lol
Anyway, thank you Lee for lending me your mixing preset, my mastering just went 0 to 100 lmfao. This one is for you for always being there for me! Ti amo betch
---
本家様: Live-P
Inst: ビッ栗様
Vox & 下手なMastering: me! and my earphones that only have one side working
Dedicated to best mixer: Lee - 紙飛行機

20200610 S K Y（アコギver.)

mic test and playing around with mixing presets lel
also im vibing with this one liek too much hehe
---
本家様: くじら　https://twitter.com/WhaleDontSleep
伴奏:  ぶちころりん様　https://twitter.com/buchikorolin
Vox & Mastering: me, this time I have perfectly functioning earbuds, dont worry guys :D

20200611 ねむるまち（アコギ short ver.）[new mic test owo]

OBI DESERVES BETTER qwq
Inspired by this tiktok (yes tiktok) https://vt.tiktok.com/Djn1WN/
---
本家様: 神はサイコロを振らない
Vox: dis obi simp ; w ;

20200617 夜永唄 short ver. (like really short)

I don't know why but I kind of miss singing, but at the same time I can't bring myself to do so. Something from my past is haunting me and I'm trying my best to sing for my own sake, but I can't get these voices out. They are so strained, and it turns into this vicious hell of self-loathing. I don't want to feel bad when I'm singing, but I really can't help these thoughts and emotions. And I'm so petty that I really want to pin this blame to certain people even though deep down they have done nothing to make me feel this way. But I really can't help it, yet I'm not even sure what it is that I'm trying to prove.

I'm sorry this is so depressing. I have no one I can tell this straight to their faces to, so I've decided just to blast it to the whole world hoping that, for the umpteenth time I try to talk myself out of this, I'd be able to move on. For real.

Anyway, here's a First Take Challenge, that the Youtaite community has set up. It has a very empowering message, it reminds everyone to love their raw voice. And I feel a little bit better listening back to how I was just enjoying screaming into the mic without care to the world. 

Anyway, big thanks to the voluntary contributors. I'm not going to tag anyone, because deep down I don't want to straightforwardly publicise my depression lol, but below here are the related links to the whole challenge and the actors behind them!
Rules & Masterlist: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eKZnIabd6Is8yXIBBWY2BoeaZGiHyBrNh3yGoZHN64o/edit 
Kickstarter: Aika (https://www.youtube.com/user/Aika2201)
Organiser: Haneul (https://www.youtube.com/c/sorahaneul)

---
本家様: HeavenzP (absolute GOD)
Vox: (no tune, no mix, just love your voice!) your humble peasant, me, who is trying her best to get out of this rut

20200221 Let - Ters [First Take Challenge]

hewwo! it's 2021. and I ACTUALLY cleared my 2020 resolution in terms of screaming into the mic and recording something for this website (that was to upload more than a certain somebody who shan't be named). I thought of doing the same resolution this year; but it's kinda impossible with my current living arrangements, as evidenced by what a failure this turns out to be. BUT, well... I might post if my heart ever feels like it, who knows lol.

At first, I was like "damn I think this should be ez now that i have graduated from shool" once I figured out my setup in my new place but oh boy was I wrong. And you'll hear from this very recording, noise issue is an understatement. But you know what, after multiple attempts, I DON'T CARE LOL.

Anw, gotta thank my resident mixer Lee to spark my interest in singing again; for this one too, she lent me her AT headphones (for the purpose of reviewing and testing) and boyyy AT's headphones mic is clear af!? さすが高級製（？）but I also gotta give it to her who has been improving her mixing skills. I think this whole Soundcloud project has been a good productive place for us to learn and improve ourselves and we look forward to continuing it despite whatever schtuffs life has been throwing at us.
---
本家様: 優里　https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7MvTslTWkE1HKNYkXiGv1Q
伴奏: Karaoke Studio by Harry Black　https://www.youtube.com/user/MrKathyHarry
Vox: me + neighbour's oh-so-lovely power drill
Mix: 紙飛行機 https://twitter.com/kamihikouki__

zeroday

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